(To Miseducation of Lauryn Hill)

HECTIC

Its been so
hectic around here lately
some people say
the world is about to come to an end
I'm not depressed about things
but I can't say it hasn't affected me
yeah I shed some tears
I try to donate when I can
Its hard to not feel
even when it feels like
its coming from all over
makes you see your life isn't so bad.
Texas, North Carolina, Florida ,Puerto Rico and Georgia hit by hurricane forces
Earthquakes in Mexico
Wildfires here in Cali
Mass shootings in Vegas
Terrorists constantly on the creep
threats of nuclear devastation
plus so many homeless people in the stations/on the trains/on the streets
in their tents
mentally deranged people all over
and it seems everybody else is walking around with an attitude
ready to
run you over
ready to
fight
whoever looks at them wrong.
My icons are being torn down
unspeakable scandals
and this Prez simply baffles me
Man....
I just walk around in my own world
I walk the back streets at night
lost in my own feelings of
insecurity
battling these damn demons
I walk the back streets at night
because I don't want anybody to see me
these wrinkled clothes that
I didn't bother to iron
wishing my body was in better shape
fighting off this depression shit
dealing with this HYPER REALITY shit
I bury myself in my (art) work
sometimes
going so deep
in my own world
or worlds others created in
videogames,comics,music and those moving pictures I love so much
You see I need it
like some kinda drug
(these survival mechanisms)
to help me bounce back enough
to face life
you know?
That way maybe
just maybe
I will finally get around to cleaning up
my junky ass apartment.

Its not enough
fighting for your own dreams
in this world.
You gotta fight
(often with a smile?)
to survive
period
in this world
No matter how hectic
things get around here.