The Birthday Vacation. Part 2.

I'm sitting here listening to music (from Star Wars,Matrix and The Hobbit) on Spotify and thinking (really worrying) about these little potted plants Jonathan has here. I sat them over by the patio door so they could get some sun and I swear they are looking better. I gave them alittle bit of water earlier because they looked really out of it. Just trying to follow the instructions on the tabs you know. And I'm alittle tired. Maybe not tired but just sleepy. I'm gonna attempt to bake this fish The Dangerous African had up in his freezer. That fish has some freezer burn going on let me tell you. Anyway my investor jokingly told me yesterday since Jonathan was going thru this difficult time I had to do the wife thing. I was like "We're both two men" so theres no one doing any wife thing. Still Jonathan and I do make a good team I suppose. In some ways we compliment each others strengths and weaknesses. Its been cool being here to help him. Earlier I told him I wouldn't mind moving here and he said if my heart was in it. It was in the heat of passion but I meant it. If money wasn't so much of an issue I'd live here at least for awhile in a heartbeat. Yeah money definitely does not buy happiness but it sure covers a lot of territory. It makes many things possible you know.

It was cool to cook for him a few times during my stay here. I don't mind. I'm actually pretty good at it. Made baked potatoes last night. Baked some chicken patties the other night. Cooking fish right now. Baked tilapia. It smells pretty good. All I did was take it out of the package,rinse and sprinkle some pepper with garlic salt on it. Did alittle research online about the freezer burn because I wanted to make sure it wasn't gonna cause problems. Turns out it might simply taste unpleasant. The areas with the burn that is. Told Jonathan to make sure in the future to cover food he puts in the freezer instead of just tossing it in there. That's Jonathan. The Dangerous African. Part of the reason I call him that is because he almost blew up my microwave back in LA when we first stared seeing each other. Can still remember the day we first met. It was pretty awkward because "Captain Caramel" my nutty roomie at the time had gone out somewhere and since he had my house keys I couldn't get back in the apartment. Jonathan came thru to meet with me at my place. I remember how hot he looked in his soccer team type shirt. His dark skin and perfectly formed body. Those kind eyes that reassured me everything was gonna be alright even though I was sorta panicking about being locked out of the apartment. We ended up sitting outside in the little courtyard area behind my building. We talked about his current living situation at the time. He was bouncing around without a place to call his own. He'd been dealing with some betrayals as well as some unsavory characters he was forced to depend on since he was an illegal trying to get on his feet after leaving New York. Prior to that he'd left Liberia behind because some people wanted to kill him for being gay. Yeah they do that over there. I've seen video of people burning a gay guy then celebrating in the street like it was some kind of holiday event. One day all these people who claim to know GOD or a god will be in for a rude awakening because of all the terrible things they have done to others. Call it karma or divine intervention but we will all face some kind of cosmic justice one day. Take someone like Donald Trump. He's been in the news again over craziness. I wanted to believe the man wasn't a racist who probably didn't hate gay folks. Now I'm not too sure. It still blows my mind that a man who was video taped talking about grabbing pussies has become the President of the US. It seems like madness. Over the weekend there was an incident at a rally in Charlottesville. Basically some pro-White folks were going on about some craziness and a bunch of protesters showed up then at some point this crazy white kid ran a car into the crowd killing a white lady who was there peacefully protesting. Donald Trump comes on tv then makes a statement saying it was terrible what happened but the blame is on both sides. There was so much backlash because he didn't call out the crazy racist folks who were there stirring up trouble in the first place that he had to make another statement two days later to placate everyone basically. But his supporters have been jumping ship left and right. This entire election has been like some bizarre bad dream. I wish so much there was a reset button so I could go back in time. This man is the most unqualified person to ever sit in the oval office and it is a complete embarrassment to the establishment. But they wanted him over Hillary and ran her campaign into the ground. (With some help) Now I hear she wants to be a preacher? What???

So like I said....on the day I met The Dangerous African my roomie had me locked out of my place because he took my keys. I sat and talked with Jonathan for awhile and he felt like an old childhood friend. He kept telling me not to worry about anything. Its interesting in that we'd chatted online (via the "tagged site) on and off for about a year but we'd never met. I'd almost given up on trying to forge anything with this guy but I decided to try again but that particular time I left him my phone number and he called me. Most guys don't. Think I'm kidding? I used to wonder if people just run from you for giving your number but the sad truth is many are lying about who they are. Phone calls and video chat are a no no when you are trying to create an illusion apparently. Always felt that the person for me (if he existed) would be from another country. So many Black guys here in the USA have an edge about them. Its something I really don't see in brothers from out of the country. If you ask me to explain it I just say its more of the mental ill shit that's fallout from what happened to our ancestors. Some of it anyway. Sometimes that edge is part of what makes brothas so damn sexy. Other times its just something I wanna run as far away from as fast as I can. Why? because sometimes that angry energy is directed at me. There it is.

(Added 8.24.2017)-
(We saw the new film "Detroit" and Jonathan walked out a few times because of the intensity of one particular interrogation scene that seemed to go on forever. That scene even made me uncomfortable and one couple who saw the film with us later agreed whoever edited the movie could have cut out about half an hour at least to make it flow better. Jonathan was still sensitive about his mom so thats probably why he was so affected by the scene. )-

Not even gonna lie. When The Dangerous African made love to me that first time it was truly a spiritual experience. I told him he put voodoo on me. Of course he laughed. Such a likeable guy he was and his story moved me so much....that whole adventure of surviving a civil war in Liberia then that climb up from nothing....it was something I certainly understood. Of course I let him move in with me. He became my best friend and I guess even though it didn't feel official he was my lifepartner. Until my own insecurities and unwillingness to move drove a wedge between us. Then he moved. So here we are.

We did the laundry today. I'd really wanted to go to the zoo but it was too late since Jonathan had to go to work. He's gonna be gone till later tonight. That'll give me plenty of time to start doing some concept drawings for the designs of the Daughters of Legend character jackets. I made a difficult decision yesterday about the DOLL (Daughters Of Legend Legacy) film. Well its something I've been mulling over for some time but the quality of the footage we shot is severely lacking therefore we're just gonna start all over from scratch instead of trying to go back and fix everything. Right now I'm leaning towards taking what we already filmed and having it released as a webisode that will lead into the film. Viewing the webisode will not be required for understanding whats going on in the short film, which may or may not be a new original story. I thought my investor would be kinda perturbed by my decision but he actually seemed happy. Probably saw it coming from the talks we've been having over the past couple of months. I want to do things up in the short film though. make everything bigger and better I mean. Damali will get an upgrade in the film. Her look. Her house. How she dresses. How she walks. Everything. So although we spent a gang of money on the already shot footage it wasn't a waste. More of a build up to the main event. To think of it as anything else would be too distressing. We're gonna be bringing in a cool female DP to help out this time too. Someone I've already worked with before. Daughters of Legend needs input of the womanly persuasion. So many things are gonna be different for this production when I return to LA. The trip definitely got my batteries recharged in spite of Jonathans situation which brings us to....

Jonathan was concerned about the pictures he posted on Facebook of his moms funeral. I told him it was too late now. I understand how others could think posting these types of pics as weird or morbid but also I get it wanting to hold on to memories of the person you lost and its a loving way of giving some form of closure. I get it. Now he's thinking about giving her a more fitting burial place or maybe it was a headstone he mentioned earlier. Its really something that at this time when he's got to prepare for his daughters arrival next month he also has this to think about. But when you have so much responsibility you can't really slow down to take a moment to grieve. I have a buddy who lives in Detroit. I really care for him a lot but I abandoned the idea of us ever being more than friends. Anyway this buddy of mine has been heaping so many responsibilities upon himself I told him he was just over extending himself and running the risk of burning out. Dude has already been in the hospital a few times and my ex in Detroit has been guilty of the same thing. Sometimes we place a lot on our tables because we are running from something. You can say its simply another outlet for coping yet stress and hypertension do not make for good companions.

Jonathan reached his breaking point when we were sitting in the car outside of a buffet place. We were about to go in. He just started to sob almost like he was laughing because he'd just received the call saying they had put his moms to rest. When I cry theres really not much noise but its a pain because of my nose running and my eyes burning then theres the inevitable headache that usually follows. Ugh. Jonathan took about 15 minutes to recover. I tried my best to comfort him. Was tempted to ask him if maybe going to this place wasn't such a good idea. Eventually he pulled out of it then we went inside. We stacked our plates then sat and talked for awhile. It was a Panda Express wannabe joint basically. Jonathan thought it was the same chain but theres a big difference in the quality of the food. A lot of the stuff there was fried too and I doubt they used vegetable oil but whatever. I'm trying to eat healthy these days. Jonathan put me on video chat with a family member and I tried to work on a go fund me campaign to help him cover the funeral expenses but no one gave anything. Had to try right? They had to transport his mother a distance and it was all pretty expensive. The American dollar has a lot of value over there though because from what I heard if it were here in the USA the funeral would have cost like a million bucks. Seriously. If I were living here I'd be able to really keep an eye on The Artist Formerly Known As The Crazy African (Yes he did once have a promising singing career) but for now I'm here for a short time with my cooking....my massages....washing his dishes and well....believe it or not sometimes just being there with someone when they are going through it is the equivalent of a million bucks.

(Added 8.24.2017)
The Crazy African and I had more adventures before I got back home in LA. While driving to Minneapolis we got a speeding ticket then when we finally got to Minneapolis we almost couldn't find a hotel. At the last minute when all hope seemed lost we went back to Hotel 6 when no one else had any rooms available (or they were all too high). Hotel 6 told us initially they didn't have anything but they worked a miracle and put us in room 133 which was a room outside which had a huge bathroom. The sink was slow as hell to drain and the room cost 85 bucks but we were desperate. At least we didn't smell cigarette smoke in the room. I really do miss Jonathan. He said I should move to Fargo and become his new best friend. Of course right now that isn't possible because I have so much to do and his daughters are coming. Perhaps in 2020 I can consider moving there. Well hopefully I will have enough money and be more able to freely travel. Gotta work more steadfast towards these goals. Probably most important of all is I need to more realistically pace myself....