2020 has gotten off to an interesting start. An old roomie dropped by unannounced last weekend because he needed a place to stay. Now this guy is someone I've known for a good while but I've put distance between us because well as anyone knows as time passes you come to realize some folks you have to kinda cut out of your life. For whatever reason. This guy tends to text or call me up out of the blue only when he needs something. He's not someone who calls to wish me a happy birthday or to go out for grub or a movie. He basically came across like he can just show up and made an attempt to intimidate me but I suspect on some level he realizes he can never do that again. He had the heater on full blast and I turned it off when I smelled something burning as he'd parked it on the floor scant inches from where he was sleeping. Also when I let him use my house keys he was gone for a loooong time.  I put up with some stuff from people but after awhile it just gets old. Even if he's one of my actors who I might need in a project....

The Dangerous African came into town for his birthday (Christmas) so I took him to Universal. It rained a bit and the day was mostly cold and overcast but we still had alot of fun and took a bunch of photos. Sir Nathan of Delphia (The Dangerous Jamaican) got us a discount at his job so we ate for cheap and the staff came out to surprise The Dangerous African with a birthday serenade. The Dangerous African has accomplished so much and I am so proud of him. He's taking care of three daughters, holding down a job and going to school to be an RN. Not bad for someone who only just recently came to the US right?

The job is starting to get more and more stressful and its becoming more apparent its time for me to leave. But I gotta save money and work on my creative outlets. Filming is set to start again on Sasquatch and I am working on some other stuff (comics and novels etc) Gotta stay busy and motivated. Honestly I've gotten to the point where I'm soon gonna cut off all luxury spending so I can save money and also have funds to produce my work. I may hang on to work at the center for another six months but this will be only to tie up loose ends and make sure I am okay till a better opportunity comes along you know? You can't stay at one place too long.

Was on the phone with my father the other day and it really got me to thinking. He said he was concerned as he didn't really have any way to get info in case something happened to me so he made sure I gave him a contact. (I'm sure he could also contact the lgbt center but that wasn't the point) My dad is like 70 plus and I guess as time goes by you start to reconnect with your kids. I'm actually finding myself longing for the good old days and nice times spent with old friends and family I've not seen in awhile. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. It wasn't all bad you know? I've just been so off into my own world and coming to terms with my weirdness which is apparently one of my greatest super powers. The ability to freak people out while also insuring my survival. Much of the time I think I am too out there so thats why I keep my distance from....humans. I guess I'm coming to grips that I may never actually fit in anywhere yet this doesn't have to make me sad or lonely ultimately. You have to learn to love yourself quirks and all and not depend so much on others for anything.  I'll likely always be a "work in progress" but thats okay because I know where I've been, where I am and where I'm going. I don't really live my life worrying about pissing off "the gods" either because I realize regardless what some folks believe, I'm a good person. So thats something. I try to bring some light into this world and make some sort of difference you know?

As far as videogames go....its been a bit frustrating. I spend way more time working on, troubleshooting or doing updates on things than I seem to actually playing games. What up with that? Part of me misses the good old days when you just put a game in the system and it WORKED. As shy and insecure as I can be at times I am still determined to get some sort of videogame players club together. I purchased an Xbox1S just for that purpose but it was kinda discouraging when only one person came to my first gathering. Even giving Sir Nathan of Delphia a refurbished Xbox1 wasn't enough incentive to get him to game with me on the regular. I gotta be more careful when I pick people to give things to. I mean I should give stuff to folks who will actually appreciate or use it. Then again I suspect he has broken or given the system away because I never see him online when I log on. Just sayin. I do post stuff regularly on instagram and often on youtube but have yet to put together like a regular videogamer type of blog. Something that garners plenty of viewers/subscribers could pique the interest of sponsors. People do watch my stuff but they rarely comment or attempt to reach out to for the purpose of friendship. Maybe its all in my mind that people are scared, weird or simply lacking in how to be social in this new techy age we live in? What is the secret of having a successful following online? Successful enough to pay those bills you know?