Confessions of a sad superhero book 24

 Light in the tunnel.

Been making tremendous progress in my Gerbilla comic. We have like 11 pages so far. My goal is 16 pages. I am thinking of either letting that be a complete issue or maybe bringing in another faster artist to write the second half of issue one. Perhaps another 16 pages? Theres quite a number of unfinished comic projects and stories that need my attention. Plus I wanna do a Black Panther fan film (with Sir Nathan of Delphia) sooner than later. How much simpler this would all be if I had more time and money to devote you know? Speaking of money I was able to treat myself to that Xbox series S that I have been wanting for awhile. Pre-orders went live a week ago (promptly breaking the internet as the PS5 pre-orders did a week earlier) It was a miracle of divine proportions I was able to evade the scalper "bots" online and get a pre-order thru the microsoft store. The Xbox series "S" is a more budget friendly next gen system for folks who don't have a 4K tv. Also it is digital only as it doesn't play any discs. Microsoft has been making some power moves lately too because they bought Bethesda; one of the biggest game companies out here now. They paid 7.5 billion in republic credits. I really wish I could get a big company like Microsoft to back me on some videogame projects. Maybe I can get them to help me start a company thats geared towards minority game developers. Something to think about as I build my creative portfolio. People can and will just say say all Sergio does is sit around and play videogames and read comics but thats because they don't know the truth. In reality Sergio has been busy consistently working on and investing in numerous projects. Some of which are nearing completion....

I recently connected with a cool guy via instagram. He lives in a neighboring city. Works in the medical field. He's cute and likes to talk on the phone which seems to be a rare thing with guys these days. Folks mostly wanna text which I can't really get with. I'm from the old skool where people actually talked to each other on the phone. Or at least video chatted. He has a stutter which I find to be adorable. (Not that I would tell him that) He is a bit older than me. Doesn't like horror movies, comic books or videogames. Sexually we seem compatible but I am wondering what the in person chemistry will be like. He's not hyper masculine like most of the guys I like but thats okay because they are the ones who seem to have the most problems. Don't even get me started on the mirror kissers. This guy is at least close. Closer than the African guys that keep hitting me up on Facebook. I'm not even sure if I can trust these guys because the conversation always seems to swing towards them needing money for something. Speaking of Africans Captain Liberia video chatted with me the other day. I told him I might wanna come up there to see him next month when I have vacation time. I still think we are gonna be leaning more towards the friendship side of things as it doesn't appear he is into me sexually anymore. Maybe he's just got so much on his table he can't really focus on anyone other than his family life and paying the bills. His daughters are cool by the way. I sent them some comic book related gifts and one I sent a cookbook because I enjoyed her hot spicy food. She says she wants to learn American food and I think she has talent. As much as I'd love to take a trip I really think I need to stay my ass home and finally get around to cleaning up my place....

Confessions of a sad superhero book 23

 Transference of energy.

At work this morning I got into a particularly nasty argument with "that co-worker" The guy I was in serious like with after not liking  him so much and now I am right back there again. But this time it feels different. He broke my trust and confirmed something I really haven't accepted until recently. Dude really doesn't give a damn about me. He is self centered to the point where he will twist things and even lie before being held accountable for anything he does wrong. Its no wonder he's single. Seriously.  I know I have some issues but I can look at other people and realize sometimes I am too hard on myself for my shortcomings. 

This guy often doesn't call out his breaks on the radio so sometimes I'm not sure what time he's going. Now I always call out my break even though he says I do not. I asked him to prove that and just as he did last week when I asked him to back up a claim he was like "I'm not gonna sit here and waste my time proving something" Seems kinda Donald Trumpish. We got into a big argument because he refused to see my point and kept bringing up other stuff for us to argue about. He claimed I was upstairs for 30 minutes before I started my patrol tonight. Thats because he saw me sitting in front of my computer around 10:15pmish. I went back and looked at the digital readout on the iPhone we do our detex on and I went off the grid for maybe 10-13 minutes tops. We scan bar codes during our patrols and if anyone looked at the codes they would see where we go and how long it takes to do our rounds. At one point in the argument he even accused me of trying to be this "perfect model co-worker" yet I have never called myself that. I also noticed he kept going on as if he had to get the last word in. I think he got off on arguing because he got really cheerful and energetic afterward. But I was more in shock than anything else that he refused to accept that he often does not call his breaks and I am expected to automatically know and write down when he takes his break when I could not get him to say when I take my breaks. Someone I spoke to said I should involve a supervisor. I felt like going home but long ago I did that when another co-worker kept coming for me. I ended up out of a job while I am sure that other person didn't lose any sleep over my situation. It hasn't escaped me that some of the people who work here feel like they can just say and do whatever to me without repercussions. Its reality none of these folks are my friends. They are just here to collect a paycheck and none of them think of me when we are not onsite. As usual I am the outcast even in a place thats supposed to be a safe place for outcasts. All I can do is remember my promise to hang in here until the end of the year at least. Gotta keep my eyes on the prize. Don't quit out of anger. Do it right with notice. Until then save my money. Focus on my projects and keep my eyes on the prize as they say. Alot of people feel angry and lost and they don't have proper outlets so they take that shit out on folks sometimes just because we are there. Its not right and I am convinced much of the time they know exactly what they are doing when its happening. I gotta be careful from now on. Stick to myself. Don't talk to people or try to get personal with them because it ain't worth it. Most people I find in general lack the capability to appreciate a truly good person yet they have no problems flipping the script on you when its to their advantage or subjecting you to the fruits of their own mental illness as opposed to actually trying to fix the issues. There is a certain freedom in keeping folks at an arms length.... 

Update: A co-worker said that there seemed to be something  in the air because other people were acting up on the floors of the shelter and also two best friends got into it and had to be separated. I really haaaaate arguments because everytime it feels like its the end of that relationship. Like it needs to be cut off right then before the person can hurt me again and I don't like seeing that part of myself. Sometimes my emotions just flow although I was more in control this morning when dude flipped on me. It was like the person I knew was replaced by this nasty individual who seemed to always know exactly what to say and he controlled the argument by dragging me in. Deflecting  all the blame and turning me into this terrible person who was a worse off employee than him and there was no way I could prove otherwise. Its like he knew I wouldn't go thru the trouble to prove my point. I was only trying to get him to  call out when he took his break so I could write it down but he just went far back to bring out stuff from the past that had nothing to do with the current situation. Some stuff I might have a hard time proving. And 99% of what he said was untrue. I don't know if he was saying it to hurt me or if he actually believes he's right. Do I need to start carefully documenting every interaction we have? I guess you really have no choice but to keep your distance from someone who will in a heartbeat go back and bring up stuff to hurt you instead of owning up. He will never apologize either. I know this. Why? Because like some others I know he is ALWAYS right. I get the idea he resents me for actually caring about my job and why shouldn't I? It pays the bills and keeps a roof over my head. He seems to hate working there ALOT.