An Experience....

Part 1.


The week has gone by and needless to say I survived my Orlando (courtesy of BlueBerry Teddy Bear) adventure. The Super Shuttle came to pick me up from my house around 11pm Monday night for my flight to Orlando. For once I was actually packed and ready. The driver was a very nice brother. I forget his name but as we talked I came to understand he and I had some things in common. He's a comic collector for one. Dude also has his own business. This was the first time I actually had conversation with a driver the entire time of a trip. It was also one of the longest conversations I've had with another black man in awhile. Thats not counting my new buddy Jeremy I met at the local Ralphs about a month ago. Jeremy was in the market with his girlfriend and walked over to introduce himself after recognizing me from SonsofLegend. We have a mutual friend (Atomik Fairy) who did some editing on one of my SonsofLegend projects some time ago. Dude was very candid with me about some things he's working on and I am a firm believer that nothing happens by accident. He expressed genuine sorrow about my family situation as well. We talked about it. Its a funny thing how you can just receive one phone call which turns your whole world upside down. Its nice to know people can understand it when you appear out of it for a minute.

Fatisha my sister was the one who called me with the news about Granny passing. It had been a week earlier when I got the call Granny was admitted into the hospital because of pain and some swelling in her legs. They also found some cancer tissue. Nothing threatening though. Not from the cancer tissue. Turns out her kidneys were now only functioning at about 4%. This meant she would have to go on dialysis. I know one person on dialysis. We've not spoken in years but he told me all about the ordeal of having a machine helping your body filter out wastes because your kidneys fail and are unable to do it. Tubes stuck in you. Granny was from the old old school so I imagine she really wasn't quite understanding just what was going on. Some special measures had to be taken to prevent her from removing the tubes they put in her.  It seemed she'd managed to somehow bounce back and they were able to bring her home but this only lasted for about a day because Granny was so out of it and in pain they had to take her back. Miss Big Nose (AKA:Beverly) called to warn me Granny might not bounce back from this and I assumed she would as she had always in the past. The thought had crossed my mind maybe I should start planning a trip. Then to get that phone call from Fatisha telling me Granny had passed away. The rug was pulled out from under me and the world seem to drop. Fatisha told me that I needed to call Mom and start making arrangements to come if I can. I had so many questions. How could this have happened? What happened? Fatisha had JUST left the hospital before Granny passed so she knew as much as I did. My brain turned to mush. It was simply one of those things that didn't seem real. I was trying to process everything. Joshuazilla hadn't been told yet so I couldn't write anything on facebook about it. I thank GOD BlueBerry TeddyBear took control and put a trip together for me. My job has 3 days bereavement leave so I took advantage of that. There was a black long sleeve shirt I'd picked up while in Wisconsin weeks ago. I decided to bring that along to wear to the funeral. I took the only real good pair of black pants I have too. These pants were used in a couple of SonsofLegend/DM episodes. Art imitates life.

It always blows my mind when I go to the airport late at night because theres always such a small number of people there. You usually don't have to wait long for anything. Of course check in is still a somewhat lengthy process. I miss life before 911. Theres the taking off of shoes and belts. You have to empty your pockets of everything. Anything metallic must come out/off. Jackets must be removed. I always have to take my PS3 and portable dvd player out which is a pain. The PSP has to come out. Sunglasses too. The reason I say its a pain is because its often an adventure getting everything into my bags then to have to take it all out and  pack it again is an exercise in horror and frustration. Honestly I keep saying I'm going to master the art of packing light. This has yet to actually occur. I thank the gods I've not had to sit next to anyone particularly rude or weird in any of my trips. There was once this guy who seemed to give off a strange vibe and he kept looking over because I assume he thought I was looking at his laptop screen. For the most part I can control peripheral vision but some people have such crazy energy you just can't relax when they are sitting next to you. There have been a few times when I had a "talker" next to me. Usually this doesn't bother me. I'm pretty easy going and appreciate conversation because so many people don't really have anything worth saying. I just think alot of men in general are afraid to talk. Maybe the truth is they simply lack social skills. I'm not the most socially graceful person (far from it) but mama taught me to always be polite and to acknowledge folks when they speak to me. Theres a few people I have been seeing for years coming or going to work who have NEVER made any attempt to speak to me and ignored any attempt I made to say hello. I'm not kidding. SOme people are just mean ass SOBs you should simply avoid if you can. (Yep when it comes to people I have little patience for BS because of things I endured in my past. Don't need no crap from you because I've enough of my own to deal with thanks) I did meet a cool older white lady named Sandy coming back to LA on the plane. We talked pretty much the whole time. I enjoyed her. It was fun hearing her talk about her kids and her life. Hey look when you've had enough you can always just put on your headphones. Its not like you really have to have your music player on either. I mean how could they know right? Last week there was a guy on the train who was trying to get all in my face to ask for money even though the headphones were on and I was trying to stay in my zone. Theres always one. Scary subway/bus people. About time to start working on this driving thing methinks.

The flight to FLA was pretty cool. I got alittle sleep then I had a layover in Memphis. Didn't really eat anything other than the complimentary airplane nuts and pretzels because airport/plane food is costly and I'm on a budget. The poor broke filmmakers spending plan. Although I did ride first class. Not sure how that happened but its always cool when it does. People walk by and look over at you as if they are trying to figure out who you are or what makes you so special. Heh heh heh. Managed to watch two dvds on the trip. I always bring plenty of those along with some comics and music. Mostly the PSP is my music and videogame supplier on long trips. I rarely use it on planes for movies. Although its a different story when I'm home. The PSP and DS help me deal with anxiety on bus/train rides to/from work. So I utilize the movie function on these devices alot. By the way thank you Sony for all the free content. Truly.

I have to say Orlando and Detroit have the biggest airports I have ever seen. Detroit and Florida even have their own trains to shuttle you to the terminals. Gotta give Detroit props for the trippy tunnel you have to walk thru to get to baggage claim. When they only give you like 15 minutes to get to your terminal you sometimes have to make a mad dash to your plane. Earlier this year I missed a flight (along with about thirty other people)because our pilot was almost an hour late and the connecting airport in miniapolis is gigantic. Even being rushed to the terminal in a cart wasn't enough to make the flight! Ended up staying opvernight in a hotel courtesy of Delta. (But a $12 dollar voucher for food in an airport Delta? REALLY???) When I did finally get to Orlando Tues morning I had to wait half an hour before Eddie (my step dad who has been married to Mommy since the meteor killed the dinosaurs) arrived. To say I was glad to be out of that air conditioned airport is an understatment. But I quickly had to come out of my hoodie because the sun was in full effect. Its interesting I've already been to Florida three times this year and how familiar this place is becoming to me. I plan a move for sometime this year. Hopefully I can afford it. It would be nice being closer to family. Florida is not ideal for a person like me who doesn't have a car. I'm thinking New York or Canada may be my next destinations. Europe? As the years go by the ties of family seem to grow even more important. Plus its always fun being around those you grew up with. Granny spent so much time in a rest home and I always used to fantasize about living in a big house where she was able to have her own room and all.  Sometimes recently I wondered if she were alone too much. At least in the rest home she had a sort of social life. Living with my mom she was home alot because everyone else is working.  Bev and Eddie would have been able to spend more time with her. Eddie is retired now I think and Miss Big Nose moved from Jersey to be closer to Mom and Eddie. Also Florida is hella cheaper than Jersey. If only Granny had lived long enough to see me finally take that walk on the red carpet in Hollywood. Its important to me that my family feels proud of me. Granny's passing made me realize that even though I have not become the person I want my parents to be proud of  (not exactly) these are important years that can not be allowed to slip away. Joshua's current relationship with me is the cautionary tale of what happens when you wait too long trying to make your life perfect enough so that you feel you can bring something to the equation. Granny's passing is also a reminder to me most people are probably not gonna be here forever. Better grab them and tell them you love them before its too late. Visit more often. Make time because when its gone its a wrap.

Eddie helped me get my luggage in the back of the car. He's not as big as he used to be. He used to win all sorts of awards for bodybuilding back when we lived in NY. I think he's about 5 feet 9. His weight probably peaked at 235 which was super huge to a kid like me. Eddie had all these weight and fitness magazines which I'd use to help me learn to draw musclemen. This honed my appreciation for the male body but I'm not so much attracted to musclemen anymore. Not really. My experience has taught me they usually want other gym fit dudes like themselves so mostly now I just tune them out because I see so many these days. One day I'll get in better shape. Probably after I make my big move. To another state? Eddie told me he was having some work done on the internet connection at home. Mommy was out shopping for stuff to wear to the funeral. Her and Fatisha. Eddie and my mom have the wonkiest internet set-up I have ever seen. They are with this company called Brighthouse. Not sure whats up with the wi-fi at the house either. One minute its fine. The next you just get kicked offline for no reason. The wi-fi is not locked though so that could be a part of the problem. Folks stealing their bandwidth and shit. Also there could be some faulty wiring or spiritual activity causing interference with electrical stuff. The TV actually started turning down by itself and we couldn't really fix it. (Granny at some point in life saw fit to "annoint it"!) Plus there was some flickering lights once in awhile. Lightning actually struck Joshuas tv some years ago so maybe thats why stuff acts up. I dunno. I did know it was gonna be strange going back to the house with Eddie after he ran his errands and there would be no Granny coming out of her room to greet us. The only place she greets me now is in my dreams. I dreamt just the other day she was going to drive a car out of a garage but I had to clear a blocked path for her. Mom said Granny never drove a day of her life. My dreams often don't seem to make any sense (and they are plentiful) but the parapsychologist in me (of course) has to wonder if this is a message of some sort for me.Wouldn't that be a trip?