Funny the way my life has been.
People come and they go.
Some say things
do things
sending some things
that might be construed as clues
that they want
something from me
but I have no idea what they want from me.
People confuse the hell out of me.
Some come saying they wanna help fund me
then when its time
I gotta ask
and they go dark
offline
no call no show
no texts.
A big muscle man said hello
told me his instagram was hacked
when I asked him if everything was okay
since I hadn't seen him in awhile.
Tried to have a conversation
think I scared him away(?)
Always feel like I said the wrong thing
you know?
But perhaps I shoulda been suspicious from the start
that some big muscle guy
looking like that would wanna get at
a nerd like me.
Trying so hard
not to give up
but mostly I feel I already have.
Tired of people and the games
no one really says
what they want or how they feel
anymore.
Dealing with guys is just lumped in with
all those ugly
scary
mysterious things
probably out to get me.

Who has time for foolishness?

*
Keep thinking so much
of moving
moving somewhere
far away
somewhere I can start all over again
but I've not decided where.
Keep thinking its Michigan
or even as far away
as another country
ain't nothing to it
but to do it.
Just gotta save up that moolah
and decide what I'm gonna do with
all this stuff I've got.
Can't take everything with me.
So much stuff
videogames
comics
dvds
cds
gadgets
figurines
lego blocks.
Need to make a decision soon
keep feeling 2018 is gonna be the year it happens
the year the kid moves.
(After he gets his first book/film/whatever deal)