(Soundtrack provided by "Tall Black Guy" courtesy of the all mighty Youtube.)

Sometimes it blows my mind some of the crazy things that happen to me. Thankfully we are usually able to bounce back from terrible moments. Bad decisions. I had to learn a life lesson I guess. For some reason. Maybe this will help serve me in the future....it'll sure make me alot less trustworthy of people. Well staying with people when I take trips anyway. I pretty much had my entire vacation trip ruined by a guy I went to visit in Oakland last Sunday (never got to try the VR and missed the comic con too)  because after what seemed to be turning out to be a good fun filled visit he flipped on me during a stupid argument and then kicked me out in the middle of the night. It really put me in a bad situation because I was out in the middle of unfamiliar territory. Because of issues with my cellphone I had get a stranger to call a LYFT for me. Ended up catching a greyhound all the way back to LA.   Angry....confused and feeling sick mentally as well as physically I returned to my apartment to lick my wounds and recover. I still literally feel sick to my stomach at times when I think about how homeboy treated me. The way he put me out it was as if I was the ultimate evil committing the worst offense. All I did was in conversation ask him "What is your ideal weight?" He turned that into an interrogation why I asked then when he didn't get the answer he wanted and I tried to brush things off jokingly he snapped asking me suddenly to get out which I thought about doing early on in the argument. I wish I had honestly. Dude has some issues. he gained alot of weight and I paid the price for being concerned. Yet never did I judge him or try to come at him in any malicious way. Sometimes I wonder if this came about because of some recent mental injuries he's suffered due to brain surgery. Seriously the rage that came from this guy tore thru me like a razor thru cardboard. As long as I recall I've always been sensitive to psychic energy from people. Gotta learn better how to shield myself. Already got enough on my table. Don't need to absorb any more negative energy from anyone. So life goes on and a friendship died. Was actually NUKED right out of the earth leaving behind a damn crater but I will survive. Got too many other things in life to worry about. Hopefully dude will get some kind of help for his issues and just not hurt any more good people. Hopefully he will bounce back and his story will have a happy ending instead of one that is tragic and sad. Find your way back to the light man.

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Finally started cleaning up around here. Finally started making some really progress in some of these videogames I put down a while ago. Finally got fully focused on a project. "Sasquatch and the Mythology Sisterhood" is that new project. Its another SonsofLegend spin off. Deals with the time misplaced Sasquatch of another age who joins forces with a group of women (some are sisters) who have powers. They all team up to fight evil. Its nice to be writing something and not bumping heads with anyone over decisions I make. Yeah it is good to work in a team. At times it is but mostly its better for me when I have all the control. Another life lesson I had to learn. I'm just about done with people telling me what to do or having control over my life. A writing team has agreed to work with me on polishing my new script. They're gonna give me a good rate. Typically they charge $200.00 per page but since my project is an 8 minute film they're giving me a reduced rate. Gotta fill out the contract and start with the payments this week. I'm pretty excited. Probably gonna wait until the script is done before I reach out to the cast or before starting to assemble a crew. Some folks said they might would be able to contribute moolah. Not gonna hold my breath though. I know how that goes. People talk a good talk but you gotta show me the money otherwise its just empty promises. I can do my webseries without anyone giving me money you know? I got a job. Still any help would be great. We will see if anyone makes good on their promises. Like I said....not gonna hold my breath.

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Things are getting crazy with the Daughters project. I heard that there were some major disageements and threats of a lawsuit. Yikes. The film is done but right now things are on hold due to lack of funds and I guess because the guys have to sort things out. I am gonna meet with some of the guys later today to view the footage they shot. Last night on the phone Raulzilla said they needed my input on something. I'm still trying to distance myself from the project. Mostly I'm tired of being....well mad. Mad because things didn't turn out how I planned. Mad because so many changes were made on the script we'd worked on for so long. Mad because sooooooo much money was spent. Who knows maybe after I see what they put together today I will not be so worried about money. Nice Monster Productions really spent alot. The film is almost 30 minutes in length. The goal is to get it edited,scored and "special effected". No rush. Then they wanna either sell it to a distributer or put it in some film festivals. Since they have a couple of well known talents involved that should help open up some doors....make the process easier. Not sure what of myself I can give since I have my own side projects going on. As much as I adore Nasty Monster Productions I just can't go back to butting heads with him and all those arguments with him and Raulzilla most certainly caused me a bunch of nervous breakdowns. Migraines....erratic heartbeats and just a general sense of unrest always dreading what was coming next with conversations and meetings then much of my passion for the film dwindled. I'm okay. We're all okay. I guess after writing the basic concept and creating most of the characters I'm not sure what else I can contribute at this point since I stepped away handing all control to the fellas.

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Wed or Thurs I took an Uber over to an event called "Game Night". Its put together by a local support group for Black gay men. I'd recieved a text invite maybe a few days before so I figured it would be a good thing to get out of the house and attempt to socialize. Unfortunately when I got there I had to turn right back around because the person who sent the text had gotten the days wrong. Turns out said event wasn't until the next day. There went my chance to try and meet other brothas into videogames. The guy really tried to get me to promise and return the next day but I told him it wasn't likely to happen. I was still kinda dealing with a slightly runny nose. This missed opportunity made me think about something a gay gamers group on facebook posted earlier today. The topic was if you were a gamer would you mind dating a non-gamer person. My response was about my own experience as a gay Black man who likes videogames. Many Black men I run across don't play the types of games I do. Usually they seem to be not sexually compatible with me or they don't even date other Black men for whatever reason. Also gay gamers like alot of gay men seem to be into those almost hyper masculine type fellas. I think alot of gay guys say they want a gamer for a hubby or whatever but it seems they actuallyare more into the types of guys who rarely play videogames at all. I think we want the unfamiliar or perhaps we are obsessed with being with hyper masculine types even if many have issues that make them non LTR material. Just my observation. Yeah it would be cool to be with another gamer yet from my own experiences other gamer types have not been into me. What I get is older guys.....fem guys. People REALLY out of shape or with social issues. Guess I've just learned to look at people beyond the surface. What I mean to say is just because "he" comes along and say the right things and is nice with seemingly good chemistry you have to look and see what traits he possesses. Is he just on good behavior till you get to know him? Is he simply using that charming smile and muscles to get by? With no real personality beyond that? You can be out of shape to a degree and I can overlook certain social issues because the world takes a toll on all of us but I'm not gonna just get with you because you happen to come along and say the right things anymore. Its more important for me to take the time to get to know you to make sure you are not out here to put a hurtin on me. I used to think that all gay folks would get along just like I used to feel safe whenever other Black folks would come around but that was a long time ago. People are all individuals who have to earn your trust over time just like after you spend some time getting to know them you'll discover if you can put up with each others shit. And it doesn't matter whether or not they are into videogames.