GROWN FOLKS STUFF. YA'LL DONE BEEN WARNED. PROCEED WITH CAUTION....

Got my footage back yesterday. Wasn't sure if I would. Thought I'd have to go to court. A psychic told me years ago I would end up in court but it would be for my own good. Maybe she was referring to the $35.00 ticket I got for that one morning I didn't pay for a train pass? Last night on my way to work a woman called somebody a nigger in rage as a large group of people were crossing at Hollywood and Highland. A white lady behind me was like "Why would somebody say something like that?" I just said "I don't know what the hell is wrong with some of these people. I think some of them are still living in the middle ages" And its true this crazy internal eternal hate folks have for those of us with the colored skin. Some folks like to say racism is dead but for some of us its an everyday occurence. I frequent IGN to read up on any and all things videogame or pop culture related then I have to hang my head in shame and disbelief anytime Obamas name or anything relating to women or minorities is mentioned. There is so much hatred from these straight white nerds and fan boys that it boggles the mind. Peole hate the fact we even have a black president. They hate the fact Johnny Storm is black and if you advocate for making things equal for women just like vultures circling a dying animal the racist,sexist homophobes emerge in droves spouting things in the forums they probably would never say away from the keyboards. Was on yahoo the other night and there was an article about Michelle Obama being so fashionable on her vacation. The crazy angry white people came out in droves to attack again. They said Michelle looked like a monkey and that they were spending tax payers money constantly going on vacation or shopping sprees. Its amazing to me that even Bush on his WORSE days NEVER got this much hate. Add insult to injury the people from other countries who were commenting on how shameful these americans should be for saying such terrible things about their own first lady. We are already getting clowned for all the shootings and crime happening over here. Police brutality. Theater shootings. School shootings. Even military bases and recruitment centers here in the country aren't safe anymore. Sometimes it feels like this society is collapsing. Sometimes I feel embarrassed to be an american. Most of the time I am ashamed to even say I have a kinship with humanity because we can fix ALL of this but we won't. Seriously. What am I doing here in this savage society where its so grey these days with everything?

Not sure whats gonna happen with Sins of Legend anymore. I mean we are supposed to film on the 21st and 22nd of this month but its become painfully apparent nobody is gonna really accept or support my work until there is a major bump in the quality dept. Quality=MONEY. Which is something I just don't have enough of. After Daniels treachery and this shit with (ahem) holding on to my footage so long I was forced to threaten him with legal action (on blast) I feel sooooooo freaking tired. I imagine people getting burned in this show biz stuff so many times they simply give up. Sorta like in that song by Gladys about the guy who packs it all up after so many disappointment and then moves back to the simple life he left behind. Feel like taking a break to be honest yet I'm afraid of losing momentum. Wasted so much time already. So many years went by when I shoulda been more serious about this shit. At least the Detroit trip (to film DM) is still on for next month. Meanwhile things with me and the crazy african are the same. I love him. But I'm not in love with him. He likes me but he's probably never gonna be relationship material for anyone. I know a couple of other african men who share some of his characteristics so maybe its just a cultural thing I've yet to understand which keeps us from being closer. I'm not even gonna lie because I am looking for someone else who is more relationship material. He just hasn't shown up yet. When he does (if) things will get interesting. And the crazy african is not the jealous type. Maybe he doesn't believe I will find anyone else. He's really into his 14 jobs and making moves to secure his citizenship, not to mention making sure he can send money back home to his three daughters. Theres no more romance left in whatever we have/had and its just on some sort of life support. Could be the universe just doesn't think I need a LTR right now. Ever? (Sighs)

Speaking of life support Whitney Houstons daughter died the other day. I was really hoping she would pull thru. They had her on life support for months. When they recently moved her into a hospice I took that as a sign things were improving alas the child of the legend has joined her mother. It just doesn't make sense to me how this could have happened to this kid who literally had EVERYTHING going for her and it is eerie how she died in a manner similar to her mom.
A few days ago this dentist shot a lion he lured away from the grounds where he had some kind of wildlife protection going on.  Pretty crazy to get in a plane just so you can fly to the ends of the earth to kill another living creature. Not because you're gonna you know like eat it. You did it for the sport of it. Who does that? So what will eventually happen to this guy for what he did? What do you think would be justice? My cousins would sometimes let me tag along with them when they went hunting. Always wanted the animal to get away of course but usually those big bad guns got the final say you know? And guess what? My cousins would actually eat whatever they caught. Crabs,fish,squirrels,deer. Now when I watch all those documentaries on netflix or hulu I still root for the animals to escape the jaws of death but the other half of the time I root for the hungry mother lion because I know if she doesn't get a kill those very same jaws of death will clamp down on her family.

My birthday is coming up soon. I've absolutely no idea what I'm gonna do. I'd love to go to Disney or Universal or Magic Mountain or Knotts or something. It would be nice to have some hot guy really make love to me like Kevin did so many moons ago. I could treat myself to something cool. I sure do deserve it. But what would make me happiest would be believe it or not actually filming an episode of one of my webseries. Maybe bring back "The Sergster Files"? Wouldn't mind going to a movie or staying home spending intimate time with Godzilla on PS4,Batman Arkham Knight on the Xbox 1 or that new Rare hits game collection that just came out which I pre-ordered!  Don't know what I'm gonna do. Gotta go work on a DragonManx script right now so perhaps that will spur some inspiration.  Thank God for hump day. My weekend starts in an hour and a half. Happy hump day.