Conflicts of a hunger

I hunger. Or is it an obsession? Whats the difference? I am driven to create and it just NEVER ends. Others understand this. We can't sleep. We can't really relax and all we think about is....this craft or medium for which we use to convey an idea or concept to the masses or anyone who will listen....however colorful or original....unoriginal. It still comes from some place channeled through us. It is channeled through our soul which makes it a part of our soul. Call it a power or call it a curse. Whatever it is we can't live without it. We are driven to create art. Expression. This is the gift that puts a fire in my heart and its a hunger that constantly craves.

I was born in North Carolina and grew up partially there and New York. It was mostly in New York when the gift began to manifest. Well mostly. They tell me I drew when I was a kid in NC but I really don't remember much about my childhood. So much of it has blank spots. Don't ask me why because I have no idea. Sometimes I think my mind remembers what it wants to remember. I remember as a kid in brooklyn I turned to the world of comic books and videogames to get away from so much of the pain. Bullying is now starting to get alot of attention and many children will likely be saved from what my generation had to endure. The name calling. The hitting. Being spat on. Being slapped around and....the isolation. Not saying I didn't have friends because I had a few close pals. I had my family too but mostly I still felt alone. Drawing comics inspired by others (Stan Lee,John Byrne,Jack Kirby,Alan Davis and so on) I was able to leave the world behind. I grew wings and did the proverbial flying away number. But I'm okay now. The drawing evolved into short stories which evolved into poetry and that became this filmmaking thing I do now. Short films actually. The first major attempt at writing was inspired after seeing the horror movie "The Howling". It was a novel called "Animal People". A pretty simple and ridiculous tale about a young guy who took a summer vacation trip to a small mysterious town filled with shapeshifters. The main character became friends with some powerful guy who came to help him. I'm sure if I were to find and read that story it would be filled with soooooooo many gay overtones. Heh. Of course at age 15 I didn't know what gay was. Not exactly. I knew I was different. Kinda weird. Definitely seemed smarter than most of the other kids but well I guess it was alot like being a superhero like Kalel. A strange visitor with amazing powers no one ever taught me how to use. I believe in a higher order to things and I believe my gift or jaws of life was my art. It certainly saved my life. I don't even want to try to imagine where I'd be without this thing I do which touches the world. Brings light to the world.