Book Of Dreams Entries...
July 15: An Uber or Lyft driver came to pick me up and he had to wait for me to run back inside a house to get a cream pie that was melting.
July 16: This dream had a few parts. Me and my ex Stan were walking through a wooded area and we were on a trail or dirt road. Not far away I noticed two little bear cubs and realizing this was a potentially dangerous situation I picked up a stick urging Stan to come on away from the area quickly but he just kept walking slow as if unbothered. We wandered into this kinda run down looking place. Some kind of fortress that looked straight out of a Mad Max film and I saw some menacing looking white guys. There was one in particular who seemed intent on giving us grief. At some point I had picked up a rake to hold in my other hand and I sorta low growled at the white dude when he tried to block our path. Stan was basically stopping and crossed his arms and I had to tell him to come on. We exited much to my relief then we came to a place where it seemed a boat or something was arriving but there was very little water. A VERY familiar bald headed brown skinned brother said something like "It can take you" or maybe it was "It will carry you" There may help been a part before the bear encounter but this is all I remember.
July 22: (Today) Was riding a bike and I had a passenger. There was a guy on another bike who seemed to be following us. The other guy (my passenger) who seemed familiar with curly hair got off the bike and he joined in singing with the guy who was following us. Dude had a strange looking guitar with some other instruments built in.
And in the news...
We now have video cameras aimed at us at our posts!
There was an internet outage last week that affected alot of people nationwide.
Biden has dropped out of the race due to serious health issues and pressure from EVERYONE and now we are on the verge of having a black woman as president but her support seems shakey unfortunately. I was considering not voting this time around but I don't think it would be a good idea to have Trump in the White House again. As surreal as it seems that he is actually in the running but then again the Republicans have no one else so in all seriousness I think they would vote for Trump no matter what he does. Theres alot of money and power in the Republican party so I don't take them lightly at all. What bugs me is that people are willing to overlook all the issues this guy has and vote for him. I was just talking to one of my supervisors and she pretty much echoed how I feel. Trump is a businessman and he might be able to fix the economy but otherwise he's KARAZY which makes him a problem but since Desantis (the other crazy one because he went after Disney,affirmative action and the lgbt community) dropped out who else is there? No one. I would vote independent but that party seems almost invisible in this race. But maybe I should just on principle because in all honesty I don't have much faith in the democratic party anymore.
Slept all day again and pretty much feel like I wasted the day and weekend. Videogames (Mostly Luigi's Mansion 3,Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodhunt, Godzilla, Star Wars: Jedi Survivor) and too many trips to McDonalds -along with a free meal due to a botched order!- helped to stimulate my mind (I've barely touched the new pad and set of pencils I got for drawing) and I have been able to catch up on some stuff on tv. The Boys on Amazon Prime video (A secret group of superhero hunters) and Supacell on Netflix (An edgy series about UK super-powered black folks produced by a brother called Rapman) I did get another page of my upcoming comic book via Facebook messenger. Things are coming along with that project and my goal of having six book done by the edn of the year. (This includes the 3 already done. DragonManx,Gamer Granny,Gerbilla) I'm on a 3,6,9,12 number kick these days. Maybe those should be my lotto numbers. Anyway once the webpage is done (praying this isn't all a scam) I can actually seriously start to promote, market and sell my work. Meanwhile I am still working on clearing the clutter from my place and theres still the dental work I need to get done not to mention that looming insurance bill that needs taking care of. Also need to get back into therapy. Something I keep putting off. My birthday is coming up next month and I'd like to do something but I have to be careful how much money I'm spending since I have so much going on. (Ugh my right leg is hurting) Still wanna go see The Dangerous African in North Dakota next month but I will see how much the ticket prices are after I get this paycheck. In other news I discovered an awesome artist on Spotify over the weekend named Mayer Hawthorne. He is another in the category of "Blue Eyed Soul". Up there with artists like Teena Marie,Hall and Oates,Robin Thicke,Moonchild,Jamiroquai,Mac Ayres,Dino,Joss Stone,Jon B,Christina Aguilera,Michael McDonald,Kenny Loggins,Robert Palmer,Jane Child, Robbie Nevell,Color Me Badd,Simply Red,Miles Bonny,I guess Eminem,INXS,Tears For Fears,Bobby Caldwell,Bee Gees,Taylor Dane,Lisa Stansfield,Swing Out Sister, Sheena Easton, Peter Brown, George Michael,Elton, Culture Club, Dr. Buzzard's Original Savannah Band!Kelly Clarkson,Amy Winehouse, Justin Timberlake, Madonna and even people like Gloria Estefan (Latina) and DeeLite at times and maybe Jennifer Lopez (Latina) -on a good day- Oh yeah I almost forgot Phil Collins and The Jets! There may be others who have slipped my mind. There are some truly bad assed white folks or people of other races who excel at the soul music which has helped shape my life and mold me into who I am over the years.
Everytime I try to think about dating I freeze. I see all the photos on social media of all these in shape fellas trying to get folks to hire them as personal trainers or its just eye candy for the rest of us who will probably never be in that shape. Social media has really had a weird effect on dating over the years. And I realize many of these guys looking amazing in these photos well all of them have their own problems and personal demons in life they are dealing with. Hell most that are usually advertising to the lgbt community might not even be gay but they know many of us are thirsty. Its crazy that all of the stuff thats happened to me over the years has probably triggered some kind of switch in my brain to turn me almost asexual. So much trauma and just feelings of being inadequate in general because yeah although I certainly have things to work on doesn't everyone??? You'd think people would not be so quick to judge and look for something perfect yet they do and its fact some of us get left behind because we never run into someone willing to take a chance and grow with us because well a partnership is a powerful thing if you can find that person who can overlook your flaws and work with you. For many I suspect animals help fill that void we can't get from a human. I have joked in the past how awesome it would be instead of an emotional support animal I should find a human. How awesome it would be if there was an organization that provided such a service? Nothing sexual. Just someone to be there and to maybe do things socially with. Sounds like an escort huh? But what I'm thinking wouldn't be that because with an escort (well from what I hear) anything goes but this wouldn't be that. I wonder if something like this could work? In a fantasy world I suppose a robot companion could do this task...
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