(The love I never had (a chance at)
Just me and my cold coffee here.
They don't throw cold coffee away anymore.
Now they just package it and sell it.
I came in
even though I am feeling a bit under the weather
-couldn't really sleep today-
and its raining
I'm still here
With my big bad can of Lysol
As insane as it is
Still thinking of him.
Trying not to think of him.
The one who walked away.
The one who said he wouldn't judge me
for my clutter.
Bought me a duster even
I guess that was a parting gift
even as the energy changed between us
and I could feel him slipping away.
Hurts like hell
having to go thru the motions.
Same old story really
me falling for someone else
someone who all too easy can simply pretend that I don't even exist anymore.
Its tragic
living in this big bad city
feeling so totally alone at times.
How do people do that?
Just pretend someone doesn't exist?
How many others were there before me I wonder?
There might be others now to be honest.
There will come a day when I'm over him
and there won't be any going back.
He was yet another painful failure
a lesson.
I'm not calling anymore
Not staying late after work anymore
playing videogames like I used to do
because I just don't wanna see you anymore man.
I guess I'm not so good at rejection
like I'm not so good with people period.
Feels like you took out a part of me
and I gotta recover the only way I know.
Its gonna take some time.
(Excuse me while I go crawl up under a rock for a little while)
One day it won't hurt so much I promise you.
One day he might look up and see me on tv and wish he'd been more patient with
this diamond in the rough.
It happens.
Until that day I hope I don't become
like the same jaded cynical
untrusting
emotionally distant folks
who turned me away.
Please GOD don't let me become like that
because I don't think
I'm supposed to be that way...
(FIGHT KLUB)
They punched her
another cool person here
assaulted
attacked by another member
of the community we serve.
-Changed the video cam recording options too-
(Don't want our dirty laundry coming out?)
Sometimes it feels as if these kids hate us.
Just here
tryin to do our jobs
trying to keep em safe
but sometimes I swear
the same ones we look after
Sometimes it feels as if they hate us.
Would they
if they could for one day
walk in our shoes?
Call us
snitches
rent a cops
disrespect us all so much
and I swear I don't understand
why they hate us so much.
Is that the curse of wearing a uniform?
I can barely recognize my community anymore
so angry
so unforgiving
so lost.
Are the community leaders and politicians more concerned with lining those pockets?
Sometimes when I look around at the way things are
I find myself wondering
do they really care about us at all?
Who can teach these kids
a better way of life
a better way to solve the problems
without bawled up fists
drugs
selling the bodies
and all this maddening violence mess?
Is it me?
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