Its been an interesting time working here these last few weeks. We are all getting used to the new schedules and setups. I still get the idea that in some ways folks don't know what the hell they are doing but we are all allowed some screw ups. Then of course you have the nutcases and bad elements that like to hang around the property. I have had some issues over my vacation plans as well but thats a whole other conversation. Yesterday I apparently came close to being assaulted by a woman with a machete whom I walked past on patrol. She was yelling "wetback" and "securitas" and I wasn't sure who she was supposed to be talking to. If I had a dollar for how many black folks mistake me for being hispanic. I even had a brother call me a white boy one time. I have been called a white girl too. Because people are blind I guess. There was a hot guy getting naked by one of the doors and my supervisor (who has been assaulted before) wanted me to stand there with the door open being aggressive with the guy who was already preparing to leave as I'd asked him before. Theres this trans woman with a blonde wig who keeps coming into the parking gate then going down to steal donated goods from the donation area. Years ago this happened with a white car that rammed through the gate when we tried to stop them. I won't speak on my shit getting stolen last year. I still get mad when I think about it. Meanwhile apparently my shrink has to discontinue my session as she is having another baby and can't get childcare or something like that. I honestly feel I have outgrown therapy anyway. Like the kung fu master has nothing more they can teach me. Maybe another teacher can and another person is slated to take her place but I have yet to return their phone call.
-To Be Continued-
Update* (To John Williams Greatest Hits)
Earlier during the shift there was a car of mask wearing guys with machetes driving around allegedly threatening folks. What is it with people and machetes lately? I think people have been binge watching some african movies or documentaries. The people helping me with my website seem to think I am made of money because they keep asking for more even when I try to explain to them I can't just magically whip up a grand not when I have other bills and responsibilities. They say they wanna help me set up an e commerce site but while this initially seemed like a good idea what they are asking for is ALOT and I'm thinking of pivoting to simply get the website perfected. So many ideas and sometimes its frustrating just feeling like one does not have enough time in a day to get things done. I have often thought of just getting a nice hotel room somewhere away from the clutter of my apartment so I can lose myself completely in finishing a project. Speaking of projects I finally got together a game plan for SonsOfLegend. the script for the short is done. I'm tempted to add 3 more pages that will include a romantic element. Probably a straight love because I don't wanna lose a demographic. Pretty sure SonsOfLegend will be branded WOKE and attacked by the anti-woke mob but the truth is my stuff has always been slanted towards giving everyone something they could enjoy in my work. The quality of writing and understanding of story structure wasn't always my strong suit but its all getting better. I've been doing little videos here and there for Nerds With Badges and this is surely warming me up to the crowdfunding stuff I'll be doing in the coming months. For my film projects and comic books. In a way I feel that I may have evolved to the point where thoughts of relationships and love don't matter so much anymore. I guess its a survival thing and it does bother me a bit when I dwell on it yet I am pretty much surrounded by people who have abandoned the concepts of honorable unions of any sort. I have heard some theorize those covid drugs did something to our brains or maybe its just a powerful spiritual side effect of how much the world has changed these last four years. I feel though that I have wasted alot of time and I am now playing catch up so no time to focus on concepts that seem intangible. Other times I feel like I need to move somewhere far away from this place and maybe just maybe I can connect with some folks not corrupted by this state of weird heaviness that seems to hang in the very air I breathe. Been dreaming a bit and feeling a certain kind of way about a certain fellow who lives in Detroit because he showed up in a dream the other day. Tall. Brown skinned, bald with a mustache/goatee and I think I even caught his scent in my dream! This guy is someone I've known now for awhile. He's HIV+ tragically due to a betrayal. He's made some really insane decisions over the years and has suffered from being in bad company. He's also had some major health scares so I have managed to keep things on a friendship level. We connected via Adam 4 Adam which is one of those gay dating sites. Well it used to be one could possibly find a date there. Last I checked years ago its been taken over by raunchy ads...scammers..fake profiles...possibly bots and foreigners looking to get into your head to scam you. Actually much of the internet is trending in that direction. Catfishing is the order of the day and everybody is trying to become your fitness instructor or they wanna rope you into trading and bit coin stuff. Then theres the people who want you to "market" their products by buying their products(clothing etc). Everybody's got a con.
P Diddy is in the news alot these days. Not in a good way. Folks are coming forward and accusing him of sexual exploitation and people trafficking. Now he's locked up and facing the possibility of being locked up for possibly forever. Meanwhile Harris and Trump are battling it out for the office of Presidency. Honestly I am still on the fence about voting this time around. I usually do but I don't care for Trump. I know that some republican ideas sound cool but if only that party had another person to represent them. Harris does seem cool but I just get this feeling something is lurking in her past or something.
-To Be Continued-
Updated*
(To Cinematic Autumn: Iconic Soundtracks)
Maybe she needs to come to LA and do some active campaigning because I'm not so sure what she offers that will affect my life. Its not really a big deal to me but I do wonder what her stance is on the lgbt community. I won't get mad at her if she isn't you know a fan or anything. The lgbt community in my opinion is in a strange place these days and some things that have happened over the past few years have certainly caused us to lose some goodwill from straight folks. I thnk we have become bullies and maybe a bit greedy but this is just my opinion.
Sometimey people. Why are people like this? One day they see you and you're talking like besties then the next time they see you nothing. Only looking at you strangely as if someone cast a spell on their minds to make them treat you a certain manner. Yeah, I know folks gossip and even though one may try to stay out folks faces they will still get together to rag on people when they are not around. I'm aware I have haters. There are certainly "gate keepers" in this kings court as well. I try not to let myself be too paranoid about this shit especially since it doesn't matter so much as what folks are saying or thinking yet it creates a hostile environment. There are times when I feel like Spider-man must have felt when I used to read his comics regularly as a youngin. You show up to save the city but the people are freaked out by you as they don't get you and this is just the way they are gonna be because so many are just dumb or not raised right. There are times I wonder if I wasn't brought up with certain values would I be like so many other zombielike individuals walking around only reproducing to make more zombie lifeforms. I really do see myself as the hero who shows up to help then flies away right after like Shazam used to do on the tv show. He didn't hang around to make statements to the police or maybe he just didn't want to be in the presence of people any longer than he had to. Perhaps he knew ultimately folks would never really understand him and his otherworldy qualities would end up scaring folks who don't have the magic. Don't understand the magic. There is magic in the world. Sometimes seems elusive but if you reach for it miracles can happen. Miracles like ancestors looking out for you or an animal seeing you in distress and trying to help or even something as minor as a gentle reminder that in spite of all the world has thrown at you you are in fact still human.
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