My mind was numb
numbed
wanted to laugh
and even wanted to finish watching a movie
or to play a videogame
But I really couldn't.
I guess I'm stopped up.
Maybe its why I have this cold
that won't go away.
I wanted to call you man but
I realized
thats probably not good.
I mean
you don't care enough to call
to see how I'm doing
So why should I?
What is it about you?
Pheremones?
That smile
or the fact we seem to have so many things we can talk about freely
with each other?
Maybe I'm the flawed dude without pheremones who needs to take some kinda chemicals
because I'm certainly not having luck physically attracting anyone.
Its ridiculous I'm wasting time thinking about people who don't care about me.
(I'm trying so hard to move past this shit believe me. So forgive the erratic behavior.)
I wanna talk to you
then I dont because I know it'll go
absolutely nowhere.
Truth of the matter is you have
so many of your own issues.
Its pretty obvious
and sometimes you don't look your best.
Sometimes I don't even think you are all that attractive to me.
Sometimes its hard being around you
and being in that stressful environment.
I guess this is what Anakin meant when he told Padme
she haunted him and sometimes he feels like he is in pain and unable to breathe
when she is near.
Is it crazy that I go back in forth in these emotions for a man
who cares not for my brand of company?
All I can do is wait and live my life.
I know in time
these feelings will wane
Probably still linger to a degree
but oneday
this aggravation
this too shall pass as they say.
Ima be alright.
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