So I went to the dentist yesterday all ready for the root canal and one again they cancelled. Last time it was because the dentist had a family emergency at the last minute. This time it was because my condition is complex so they are sending me to a dentist in Huntington Park. So instead of just calling and telling me this I had to take a LYFT all the way over there to find out. Now because of this I have to spend the next few days (some of which is vacation time) still dealing with this issue.
The other guard who I worked with who may have been away from the desk when the dude stole my stuff (unless he was somehow able to enter from a window in another dept) worked his last day here Tuesday and it was a bittersweet situation. I say that because I do like dude but he is a bit too laidback at times and it worried me that this could cause some issues. Anyway we talked and he gave me a hug and shocked me by giving me one of his handheld consoles he doesn't really use anymore. Its a cool little emulating device and he has put a bunch of games on it. I guess he does feel bad about my stuff. I am hoping the cops can recover my items but I realize its a slim chance. Someone said I should do a go fund me but I have a hard time believing people are just gonna give me money. Crowdfunding hasn't worked for me in the past so I don't have much faith in it. Ironically I will be launching a crowdfunding campaign for my Sasquatch film later this year. Meanwhile a Kickstarter campaign is also launching this year for the comic anthology which features a collection of comic book writers/artists. In other project related news I may do an episode of Nerds With Badges around Memorial Day at the end of this month. I wish I had a co-host because I would be less nervous having to interview folks. I do actually have a couple of guys I'd love to feature as guests. One is a cool LYFT driver and the second is a comic book creator met at LA Comic Con some months ago. Its too bad I had a falling out with my last co-host. Speaking of former co-hosts dude who I used to hang out with alot who went to Universal with me on New Years Day has been reaching out to me recently via texts as if nothing happened between us that day. Forgiveness is something I struggle with and I do feel at times I give folks too many chances. None of us are perfect and it is important to be able to move past the past yet when you keep letting folks slide for being nasty towards you its almost as if you are telling them to go ahead with being disrespectful towards you. On the other hand "he" is featured prominently in my film so theres that. Really don't want to replace him but sooner than later we are gonna need to have what will likely be an uncomfortable conversation.
Mr. Ninja continues to confuse me because while I assume he "just isn't into me" dude will out of the blue send me a text saying he is looking forward to seeing me on the weekend. To me this is shocking and I'm not going to put much into it. Part of me is wondering maybe we should never "go there" because it makes no sense catching feelings when you know the other person will not be riding that train with you. Its always in my mind what Tyler Perry said about believing people when they show you who they are. If I go down that road knowing there is probably no chance in hell you're gonna like me equally and you're pretty much guaranteed to break my heart (again?) well when things turn out badly I can only blame myself. So yeah I do feel like I'm walking a proverbial tightrope here. Safest thing would be to keep things on a friendship level. That would be the smart thing to do.
The week is almost over. Just have to survive ONE more day then I'm on vacation. I'm thinking of maybe calling in tonight sick because I have been feeling weird the last week or so. Truthfully I've not been the same since the heartbreak I went thru like maybe two months ago dealing with the emotional fallout of a certain persons rejection. No kidding; it broke me and I got sick not just physically but mentally. My heartbeat has been weird at times. My sleep patterns changed too. It's akin to having a fog around you that hasn't quite faded. Truthfully it was like going thru a dark tunnel then finally eventually emerging form the other side into the light. So that is to say I'm coming back to myself but something feels "off" or broken. Hard to really pinpoint it but I've been sleeping all day and going to sleep after work much later than I used to before. So you can see why I'm pretty apathetic and worried about trying to feel anything for anyone knowing what it could do to me. Getting another Steam Deck pretty soon so just that thought helped bring me back from the stink of last Wednesday. I'm planning to replace my laptop soon as well. Someone just came to talk to me and this person had a falling out with me awhile back but I guess we cool now. She told me about having $300.00 stolen from her locker awhile back. (Others have complained about having lunch taken from the fridge) She said I should ask the company to compensate me but its not likely they will do THAT. She also said something else that resonated. Whoever took my stuff may have been trying to send me a message. Someone might have even sent them to do it as crazy as that sounds because they knew exactly where to go and why didn't they go into the other departments to steal things? Could I have a nemesis hiding in the shadows plotting my downfall? Am I that important to someone? Twisted shit. That possibility. Its also possible that whoever is taking stuff could be climbing into our dept from a window to another part of the building! Trying not to think too much about all this and was considering going out of town because I need to break out like that song by Swing Out Sister. I gotta get away like Earth Wind And Fire. Will probably clean up over the next few days. Already did the laundry and made up my bed. That was a big deal to me. Small steps when one is coming out of depression are really giant leaps. I feel the urge to do something special with the next few days off yet can't quite decide whether or not this should be a solo adventure you know? Company is nice but that company might pose a potential threat. You know what I mean. Plus it would sorta be like bringing work home in a way no? It really would have been nice to go to Detroit this weekend for their Comic Con. Next year...
No comments:
Post a Comment