It has been a minute. I guess I needed time to sort out my thoughts so I could put them into words here. Or perhaps I was lazy. About three weeks ago I did my laundry and "somebody" put a bloody rag with shit stains on it in the dryer with my clothes so that messed with me for awhile. I told my manager and she brushed it off as just somebody being negligent or forgetful but I know differently. As clueless and bewildered as my neighbors act I surmise somebody in the family or a close friend of theirs is just determined to keep stirring the shit up with us to lead to some sort of confrontation. As it is I am constantly watched thru their peephole when I leave or enter my apartment. There have been times when something was thrown at me when I walked outside. Also I've been yelled at and it seemed to come from across the street or on the rooftop. Now just try to imagine living with this type of thing for about twenty years. Imagine coming home stressed out from work and feeling like you are literally under siege and unable to have privacy or peace. I swear at times I can feel nasty negative energy coming from next door. yesterday when I sat downstairs in the laundry roomwashing and drying my clothes (closely watching for obvious reasons) I noticed a feeling of peace I scarcely feel in my apartment these days. Even at work as chaotic as it can be I feel more at home than I do at home so much of the time. It has been a struggle at times to claw myself out of darkness. It does help having my videogames, music and comics and projects to keep me focused. I think that if it were not for these things I might have snapped by now. I'm certain anyone else would have. I realize in some ways I am alot stronger than most people even if it may not seem like it. All of this started because one day I asked this little Bangladesh girl to stop throwing about a million pieces of paper in front of the doorway. Another older girl who was with her told me to mind my business. I was like "How can you just let this happen right here in front of your home?" From that day I have caught hell from these people. That day was sometime between 97-99. I come home and pretty much have been staying inside trying to not put myself in a situation for a confrontation. Especially since these people are constantly going in and out of their apartment all times of the day and night. This staying inside and hardly going anywhere well it pretty much started around Covid season. I've kinda started to come out of the funk. The mind tries to heal you know from trauma but its not easy when the wound just keeps getting open or somebody throws salt on it. In all my life I have experienced hate and evil but what I have endured from this situation...I don't even have words for it. Its an enemy who is cunning,twisted and careful enough not to ever get caught or leave a trace of their actions. They will hold and keep a grudge going even after many years. Could be mentally ill and it could be more than one individual. What is the end goal? Make me move? Make me turn into a six o'clock story? Another crazy black man on a rampage. They have called the cops on me and stolen my mail. They have spat on my door. Stolen my laundry. Someone even put soiled panties in my laundry years ago. If I could ever find solid proof of this stuff I'd have a hell of a lawsuit. Mostly I don't think they will ever stop trying to break me. But technology is evolving to the point where if they keep it up they will end up exposing themselves. My manager says she is trying to get more video cameras installed in the building so Ima just continue ignoring foolishness and living my life whilst karma just keeps gathering her momentum.
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