Confessions of a sad superhero Book 53

 When you come around

I feel evil

I feel bad

like I did something 

unforgiveable.

Its madness

I asked you what was the issue

you said there was no issue

yet you barely look straight at me

I think there has been a misunderstanding

or maybe someone has been whispering 

sweet lies in your ears.

Ive said this before 

but I wonder how differently would you hate me if I really was your enemy.

I have done nothing to deserve your hatred

yet here we are 

almost a year later and I feel that your grudge is eternal

and I will never completely unravel this mystery

but I suspect

my enemy might have been your lover

(Is this all in my mind?)

It is what it is.

I guess you set me free

goodbye to the one who never knew me 

I guess.

Goodbye.

Just consider the rest of our interaction 

as radio silence.

***

I let you go

tried to remain in my life

It was not easy

but I had to walk away man

I needed to get away from some of you people

so I could grow man

please understand

its not personal

even when it feels like its always personal

gettin doors shut on you. 

I didn't wanna but you make me wanna 

new relationship

(like Usher said)

I need more healthy people in my life.

Its not you

Its me.

The little crab 

that crawled out the barrel.

***

What makes a man hate another man

(Tears for fears asked that same question)

What drives him 

gun in hand

runnin up in a building

hurtin a bunch of innocent folk

stugglin with their own life trials and tribulations?

What drives him?

Was he bullied?

Heartbroken?

Chemicals firing off so wrongly inside 

making him to do these things?

Or was it voices

drugs

possession?

Don't ask me why sister cuz I'm out here trying to survive this 

not wantin to believe its happenin.

What makes a man hate another man

so much 

So much because of his skin color?

So much 

So much because he sleeps with another man?

So much because he worships someone he don't?

So much because he makes less money?

You wanna troll that internet

find out all you can

troll him in comments sections

silently stalkin social media

use what you learn 

to hit him exactly where it hurts

makes you feel 

so powerful hurtin that man who don't even know you

ain't never done shit to you

but you hate him so much

watching his every move

infecting his computer

telling lies on him

you are so full of him

(and like Janet said) 

so empty of you.

You really need to get your priorities straight.

(Thats from Ron in Harry Potter by the way)

Watching me in the store 

like I'm gonna steal

making me feel like I'm a thief

doing things to get a reaction from me

So sly thou art

Sneakin and stealin 

pretending to be cool

yet deep down 

you're throwing daggers

its like you are planning the perfect crime against me

bidding your time to strike.

I don't know if you want to stick a knife in me or a penis.

I don't think you know either.

If this was a perfect world 

I think we could find cures for our madness in each others arms.