When I fell
it was like
a breeze
then it grew
into a tempest.
I was feeling you
you was feeling me
and for a time all was fine in the kingdom.
Then you left
I tried to hold on
but we grew apart
and you moved on in your own special way
pretending you didn't
because you wanted to keep me holding on.
Weaning myself from you
it almost destroyed me
made me feel for a good while
that no one else would or could ever want me.
Your were my safe place
that familiar space
in my mind
I would run to you
pleasing myself with your images
those memories in my mind.
Then one day in a moment of clarity
I was able to take a stand
I broke free from you
and sometimes its tempting to go back
to that comfort food you are/were
but I'm no fool
I have been down that road before and I know where it goes.
I have given up on us.
I think you know it
and theres some part of you that knows you have made
and are making
a terrible mistake
but bro I can't look back.
I wish I could sometimes
yet its too late because
in so many ways I have outgrown you.
I'm flying high in the sky while you wanna keep walking around
(Did you ever believe in my dreams? Sometimes I wonder)
No matter what happens next
I think its gonna be
a long time before we see each other again.
Perhaps in some ways this is not right
(But its okay)
I'm gonna be alright.
I think I gave up on us a long time ago.
The bed was made along time ago.
Maybe one day I won't bristle at love
maybe I won't see it as a dangerous weakness.
For now I'm just gonna deal with surviving
and its gotta be enough.
It will be enough.
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