I wish my parents had taught me more about the importance and respect of money. I went to get my taxes done and yesterday and it really made me regret not being more diligent in saving. I mean now I get it (Just noticing this guy on camera here walking his goat outside) but it seems the real way to save money is to leave Cali. The cost of living here is so high. I need to set a date for moving I guess. Meanwhile I did set a date for leaving this job. It'll be when my comic is done. Time to take a break from Cali....
I went to the dentist and they told me I need 11 grand worht of work done and folks are telling me to go to Mexico but I need to replace the passport that villain stole from me back in 2018. Yet another case of a stupid human coming along and throwing my life into chaos.
Its not been easy but I realize I've suffered fools. Falling for folks. Caring for folks who really don't care about me. Recently I decided I'm just gonna be better to myself in that regard. The idea of dating and having a social life is nice yet its something that seems best put on hold for awhile. Folks are distant. I try to connect but nothing. Co-workers are distant. But maybe its something you know....about not letting yourself get too close to people at work. Could be one of those departmental things. You know....folks from ceratin departments only really associating with others in their department. I have noticed though some people with certain characteristics will be stand-offish. Of course I am aware there are rumors going around. Not that its my business right? People are gonna speculate about you when they don't understand you or if they might be intimidated by you having that magic or whatever it is you have that they don't. So I won't really be learning too much in the way of social interaction skills from these people who have no intention of interacting with me. Not to say I have learned nothing by observing people.
Now that I am getting finished storyboards and edging towards completion of artwork for my comic its boosting my disposition... I get a good feeling of accomplishment just looking and seeing progress is being made in some area of my life. I've still not decided on what I will call my comic book anthology. Guess thats something I can work on this weekend. Was planning on going to see "Captain Liberia" next month but Ima put that on the back-burner. Instead what I'd like to do is start figuring out how I'm gonna do this video game discussion thing I've been mulling over these past few years. I have some ideas. Thought I would show videogame play and discuss things with guests yet it doesn't appear anyone is interested so it'll likely just be me. I suspect I'll try to start something in Feb. Still not sure about this videogame production idea though....
I got chewed out by someone who was waiting to get let out of the garage. I mean it felt like....well I felt like a little child being scolded and I am soooo tired of feeling like an underling who is constantly at the mercy of someone and in danger of getting in trouble. I feel more like a responsible adult with some control when I am more in control over my life. But thing is this particular guy gives me a strange vibe. Like the person who smiles at you but somehow deep down inside you can tell they are a snake.
Maybe someone I know is a secret asshole. Thats a person who is nice to you but mean to other folks. But there was that one time I saw them upset about something that happened with their work schedule. I saw a side of them that shocked me actually. Then just recently someone complained about how badly this particular person treated them. People can be totally different with you than how they are with others. Like the person who chewed me out...its probably safe to say he wouldn't have come at me the way he did if I was his supervisor or the person who signs his checks. Its dawning on me that I have never really experienced that kind of power over others. Seems folks always have the power and its messing with my development. My confidence. I'm not a child and I think I'm done feeling like one. I think well I know this type of job isn't doing any wonders for my self-esteem. I'm becoming aware of certain things contributing to me behaving a certain way. Being afraid to speak up for oneself does put you in a pretty messed up situation and some would abuse that power and treat you some kind of way especially if they feel you are beneath them because of what you do for a living. Every now and then I get reminded of that. Update: I just found out I am not the only person who has had run-ins with the person who chewed me out like I work for them.
Update: Dude actually came back and apologized. That was cool and unexpected. Believe me I can count on one hand how many times people have ever apologized to me for anything.
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