Rantings and thingamagigs.

Yesterday in the morning when I got off work I walked across the street like I usually do to catch the bus and had an encounter with a homeless out of his mind individual who started kicking things over as I talked with a fellow security officer. For like the past year I have been Uber or Lyft reliant because I got tired of dealing with nutcases on the train or bus. But of course you can’t really escape from them as they seem to be everywhere. LA has a biiiiig homeless problem and its even crazier when you consider many of these people might actually be a danger. Months ago a guy walked over to a 5 year old kid in The Mall of America and simply tossed him off the balcony. Last night while riding the bus to work this guy stumbled on the bus and then after sorta pleading with the driver to allow him to ride free he went about talking in a kinda loud alarming fashion. He actually seemed to be directing his energy at me so after a few minutes I got up and moved because I just didn’t want any of that negative energy to get on me. He goes “Yeah go ahead and move you so and so” to which I replied “Yeah that’s exactly what I’m gonna do because you CRAZY!” His response? “Born this way” Someone in the back of the bus started saying crazy stuff and I think the crazy guy figured it was me because he never looked back to see where it was coming from but for a moment until he got off I thought I might actually have to fight this guy.  Then I get here at work and this transgendered prostitute was trying to come use back alley to change. I told her no and she yelled “SO FUCKING RUDE!”. The same prostitute came around to the front claiming to live here but thankfully the other guard didn’t let her in.  Later a client who stayed out past curfew was irate because we wouldn’t let her in. I started getting a slight headache and had to take an exceddrin before it got worse. Friday can’t get here fast enough.

I was on facebook earlier today and this message popped up from some guy asking me to delete his page. That feeling inside told me to just delete him and move on but I responded saying I don’t know you and who are you? Then he said he didn’t associate with lame phony people. I got kinda pissed and blocked him with a report to facebook. The whole thing was so weird how it just literally came out of nowhere and changed my energy. It was a wake up call that I need to give a wide berth to social media. I think I have an idea of who the person might have been. It could be someone I have to come into contact with in my daily life or it could be one of these fake profiles from Africa. It could even be a disgruntled person who worked with me on one of my productions. (Yeah I am mindful there are some people out there who definitely do NOT like me) I cut someone off earlier because they wouldn’t do a face chat which is a red flag to me. Like what have you got to hide? Are you someone else? Are you a woman pretending to be a guy and you have all these attractive photos you stole from someone posted on your profile that are supposed to be you? The world is full of crazy angry people anxious to spread that negativity around. I guess it makes them feel good. I try to be careful when I write stuff these days because I don’t want everything I create to be a reaction from something stupid someone did to me. I just don’t want all my art coming from a bad place. What if someone purposely did something to piss me off then they go on my blog or facebook to get a kick out of getting to me? (Call me paranoid but I have no idea who reads my shit. It might shock me if I knew though!) I can’t let people make me out to be who they want me to be. I think I have wasted so much of my life doing that. Its just a trip people put so much energy into trying to tear someone down as if we didn’t already have enough shit going on in our lives to deal with.  Bottom line I people will come for you. No matter who you are. I guess we just have to be fiercely protective of our energy as well as who we allow in our space. I really do enjoy people some of the time (I swear) but if I had enough money I would probably live somewhere far from them. 

Getting the Sasquatch script done has been a struggle but it has finally been completed. It clocks in at 40 pages. Theres a lot of special effects which is something that the director wants to work on in a re-write while also making sure the script is at industry format. The plan is to do four episodes and then a short film and then finally a bigger full length project that will tie together all my webseries. The script is actually pretty damned good. It could actually work as a kick ass short film. It would certainly be great if I had some investors but I’m scared to go down that road again. I can’t have someone else come along and turn my project into what they think it should be to the point it barely resembles anything I created. Then comes the question of if you liked my work so much why the hell did you alter it so much? People be having their own agendas. They see you have something (a crew,actors,resources) then they wanna jump on board and TAKE OVER so they can steer the project towards their own interests. I am gonna be open minded about changes being made to cut costs but if I feel its too far from what I created I won’t go along with it. I was able to cast Sasquatch himself yesterday. He’s a very handsome muscular Latino actor who has just that right iconic and unique look/style. There are actually two Sasquatch characters in my universe but I won’t have to worry about casting him for quite some time.  I cast Harthley who is kinda my characters love interest. The actor has the right look but he has an aggressive type personality. Sorta like he’s had a rough life and doesn’t really like or trust people. (Sounds familiar) Seems to be a loner type and it might be difficult working with him. But out of all the actors here in LA he was the only one who seemed dedicated enough to take on the role so….well theres that. Which means a lot. Harthley is actually supposed to be a very laid back and friendly kind of guy. I just don’t want him to come across as being mean so me and the director understand we have to sit down and talk with this guy to make sure he can BE HARTHLEY. The director has more faith than me. When I met dude he just seemed a lot cooler and friendlier. I have to have chemistry onscreen with him and I guess I’m just concerned it might not translate and that’s not saying he’s not good. Maybe I’m thinking too much about this. Truth is I am gonna need to take some training as far as acting goes so I won’t look hokey compared to the other talent. Something else for me to spend money on huh? Who knows….maybe I will get bit by the acting bug. Still its not like I don’t know actors who can work with me. Something I have heard on the radio or somewhere recently was about a particular method that actors like Robert De Niro utilize for their craft. That interests me for some reason. What if I’m the next big thing in acting? A diamond in the rough. Wouldn’t that be a trip?

The Sneaky African says he wants to come visit in July. I might go see him in August. Maybe this month. I sure need a break from LA. Jonathan is the only person who has consistently showed an interest in me. I have always felt that man (if he existed) would be from another country you know? The distance thing has been an issue of course and he’s always ragging on me about not wanting to leave Cali. I do wanna leave Cali. I just don’t wanna do it BROKETH. I figure if I can save up about 10 grand that will be a nice little nest egg. Honestly theres really nothing holding me here. No one in Cali has shown any romantic interest in me for years. So that’s out. And sure this is a cool job with excellent benefits yet I have been feeling like I don’t belong here for awhile now so its time to start planning on leaving. My goal is to stay till Feb 2020. So I am gonna have to make some sacrifices. Maybe my internet? That’s $50 a month I could save. Been thinking about my phone too since people really don’t call me. That’s an extra $30 I could do without. One guy I know stayed in a shelter for a year to save up moolah. There are a couple of dudes who asked if they could stay with me till they get back on their feet. Its tempting but my place is so small and cluttered at the moment. Been considering doing some type of video game parties to raise moolah. How will that affect my filming/projects if I cut back on spending? These are things I am gonna have to think hard on over the next 8 months. In the meantime I'm gonna take it one day at a time. Saw Godzilla and Brightburn (more on that later) over the last few weeks. This weekend its E3. Maybe a buddy can get me in....