6.14.2019

(Eating pizza S/O Julio gave me!) This has been a pretty busy shift so far. Barely got enough sleep so it’s a good thing. All the running around is keeping me up. The Monster energy drink is still here on my desk on standby. Both my bosses dropped by tonight too. The first thing I asked was “What did I do this time?” and that was followed by laughter. It was just a routine visit (and also I heard someone got in trouble behind some keys) Speaking of keys another guard lost his car keys and now its gonna cost him $500.00. Just when you thought you had problems.

I wonder what Brianopolis wanted. Merely taking like five seconds to tell him I was rushing out to work caused me to miss a bus. 

Still waiting to hear back from my actor on whether or not he can get me into E3. Perhaps he forgot? 

Had to block yet another person on Facebook. Why? Well when he (possibly she) would not video chat (claims they don't know me that well although FB messenger told me they were on another call when I tried to call them) it just made me suspicious. I got the feeling this individual was gonna try to play me. I believe they have a fake profile. They had like three old photos of themselves and even the photos of their city (supposedly Chi town) looked OLD. Coulda been another one of these African guys/women from Ghana or Nigeria who try to get into your head then often try to bleed you for money. I'm just not interested in being manipulated by anyone. I have enough things to worry about. Like Stanzilla my ex used to say "If it don't make dollars it don't make sense" Too many of these African guys out here giving their region a bad name by trying to scam other people. Especially other Black folks as if we don't already have enough craziness to deal with. 

Speaking of Africans The dangerous African called me so I need to call him back. Maybe he can give me the exact date he will be coming next month so I can try to get time off.  Regarding other men from “Dem Islands” I spoke briefly to me Belizean friend. I didn’t wanna ignore his calls cause I hates it when other folks do that shit to me. He want ed to meet up this weekend. I really want to work on cleaning up my place and I gotta be careful not to spend money I don’t have to so I told him next weekend could work. Mostly I don’t think I can date anyone right now because there are so many things in my life I need to fix. My career. My body. My finances. I’m planning to move and plus my feelings for The Sneaky African seem to be intensifying. He really is the only man who I spend a lot of time thinking about. (Yes I have several nicknames for Jonathan.)

It seems funny to me that even though its nice to look at hot men mostly I look at them and feel nothing other than a sense of knowing I’m not on their level. Or its very likely we just won’t click. Never really clicked with jocks on a sexual level you know. I have had some cool friendships with jocks but many of these guys would never date someone like me unless I had a lot of money. I just don’t kid myself and stay in my lane. I have said this before that I just don't seem to be sexually attractive to American Black men. Not blerds either (They seem to largely prefer white guys or other races) I think I'm just not masculine enough. (Interestingly enough the word "Toxic Masculinity" is getting tossed around alot these days. So is MA'AM but thats a whole nother conversation) The Crazy African is funny. He’s cool and has a very calm disposition about life even though he has been thru a lot of shit. He actually inspires me in a way. The fact he has a nice body and mindblowing sex is just incredible because to find all these qualities in one man….well it does feel like looking for a needle in a haystack.  When you get to where you’re comparing every guy with someone you know then you are probably in serious like with that person. It would be something if the soulmate I doubted ever existed was right under my nose all this time and he is in fact The Dangerous African. (He earned that nickname for almost destroying my microwave and also because once he “puts it down” those hooks stay in. I told him he has voodoo powers. Sex with this guy is a spiritual experience. Thats part of how he earned the nickname King of Fargo....

I finally reached out to the actors today with a shoot date for Sasquatch and the Sisterhood Mythology.  I’ll talk with the director maybe sometime over the weekend. I need to come up with a strict budget per episode. As much of a pain that will be it’ll help me get an idea of what types of effects make sense. Now I’m starting to understand why Steven wants to work on the script. There are some effects in there that are gonna be difficult to pull off with the budget I have. It’ll make life easier just being….well being more realistic. Perhaps I should keep the heavy effects type stories for my comics and cartoons. Speaking of cartoons I still have not really done anything with the Detector Pig cartoon I had made years ago. I’d like to continue his story at least in comic book form sooner than later. I’d still like to do a video game too. Talked with one of my actors from before who has worked with me on fight coordination for some projects. He says he’d like to work together again. But he was talking more about a barter type arrangement as opposed to monetary. He does believe in my story concepts and understands where I’m coming from because he’s a blerd himself. A hot blerd too. But most importantly he gets me and his martial arts prowess is unmatched by anyone I have ever met. He is open to whipping me in shape. I did one training session with him and was sore for like a week but he can turn me into a bad ass like he is. That way I won’t look like an idiot on camera plus I can do my own stunts. We may have a sit down in a week or two. I was gonna have the writer who worked with me on my still somewhat on the backburner full length SOL script from last year come direct Sasquatch And The Mythology Sisterhood. She’s also gonna help me go back to fix some of the story elements I have to remove from the script as I no longer own the rights to Daughters Of Legend. Thing is she is kinda high so I’m on the fence now about using her. Then again she will make it high quality and she has some killer contacts in the industry. She can get my stuff in front of the right people. I have good concepts which are capable of boosting both our careers if the right people get involved. As it stands I don’t feel the right folks are seeing my material. My target audience or investors who would love to support me. I keep thinking this videogame get together idea I have could be a good networking opportunity even as it gives me some social instruction and a way to express my knowledge of pop culture. Something I seem to be obsessed with. I think I need another console though because of the wear and tear you know? Gotta decide which console to get. Next year Sony and Microsoft are coming out with new consoles. I’d prefer to get one of those but I ain’t waiting till next year. Need to figure out some kind of a screening process for who I will invite too. Will it be just blerds? Cool down to earth blerds who don’t have attitude problems or desires to steal my shit. I just want good energy around me. Its important. The thought of charging $5.00 per person has crossed my mind as it will help cover costs of renting the room and also help with the funding of projects. But to get people to even come I might need some sort of incentive. Like a giveaway. This is something I have seen people do on sites and on youtube to generate viewer participation. If I give away stuff that’s too expensive then it defeats the purpose. However if I could get some local businesses I patronize involved….hmmm. Could be some free donations….food….gift cards or even having them sponsor my events so I’m not having to come out of pocket with a lot of moolah. Looks like its time for me to hit the pavement. Might also be time to think about the benefits of having a roommate situation. Yeah I can’t believe I’m thinking of that either.