Confessions of a sad superhero book 122

A hurricane is coming and I just survived one.

I have been through alot in the past few years. Alot in this past year alone. My mind has been cluttered and certainly overwhelmed. I realize everyone has issues and some others out there are going through things truly unimaginable to many of us but some things I experienced recently were devastating to my mind body and psyche. To say I went to a dark place is no understatement. I probably suffered at least several mental breakdowns in 2024 (that no one seemed to notice!) but I'm back on track now. Everything feels renewed and I'm all back dedicated and shit with the understanding I gotta leave some things behind to chase this dream of mine. To help me clean up after the proverbial storm and regain focus I did something I've been thinking about for months now. I put together a list of things...a schedule to carry me through March of 2024. An anchor really. Anyway, here it go.

SCHEDULE OF PROJECTS

<2023-2024>

 

2023

 

AUGUST

August 27^th (Nerds With Badges Interview)

August 28^th (Sins Rehearsal/Meeting)

 

SEPTEMBER

September 3^rd

(Long Beach Nerds With Badges Comic Con)

September 10^th

Nerds With Badges (Filming episode -PS4/iPod Repair-)

September 24^th

Sins Of Legend Teaser (Rehearsal)

 

OCTOBER

October 8^th

(Sins Of Legend Filming)

 

NOVEMBER

November 5^th

(Nerds With Badges)

 

DECEMBER

December 3^rd

(Nerds With Badges Los Angeles Comic Con)

 

December 17^th

(Nerds With Badges)

 

 

2024

 

JANUARY

Jan 7^th

(Nerds With Badges)

 

FEBRUARY

Feb 4^th

(Nerds With Badges)

 

MARCH

March 3^rd

(Nerds With Badges)

???

Confessions of a sad superhero book 121

 From yesterday while in Long Beach....

I’m still on vacation. Truthfully my spirit needed this. Took my annual little train ride to Long Beach today. Just wanted to sit out by the water for awhile. Try to clear out some of the clutter in my brain. I have so much on my mind and by the time I got on the train I could feel my body tensing up. Like I have been sleeping uncomfortably for some time now and so often my neck is stiff or sore. Today it was really flaring up and I felt overwhelmed by emotions as this very attractive brother came to sit across from me. He was dark and muscular with a black and white (or was it blue and white?) striped short sleeved shirt. I wanted to look over in his direction but I just focused on reading an X-Men comic via the kindle app on my little Samsung tablet. There were some other attractive fellas on the train. Surprisingly there were not a lot of folks on the train and it was even more sparsely populated on the marina where I’m currently sitting. Its kinda hot out here but its fine as long as you are not sitting directly in the sun. Microsoft windows locked me out of word at first so I wasn’t able to type anything until I found a free wi-fi signal. (I really gotta get me a hotspot) I really planned to come out here to work on a schedule for my projects this year. I might do that later if I can find a Denny’s around here because since my Birthday was yesterday I get a free meal. The free meal is usually something I do every year but yesterday when I went to Denny’s with Sir Nathan I had the horror of finding out you gotta reserve online now via an app.

 I have been talking a lot with my friend in Texas. He’s a ranch owner from Botswana. We have good conversations and I am finding “that Jamaican person” to be ever so gradually fading from my thoughts because that is what happens when you connect with a cool person willing to invest in possibly having a future with you as opposed to someone who basically pretends you don’t exist. Its nice being able to notice other attractive guys that might like you do in fact actually exist. I saw quite a few today. I walked past a couple on my way to the Marina and the lady laughingly goes “Protect ya neck!” She was giving me props on my bootlet Wutang shirt that I ordered off Amazon a few months back because I had ended up getting hooked on the excellent Hulu series. Anyway that made me laugh and you know this was a reminder that no matter what Long Beach will always feel like home to me. Maybe oneday I’ll move back here.

I find myself thinking a lot about quitting the lgbt center. Especially since my stuff was stolen. It just doesn’t feel the same working there now. When you add up all the crazy stuff that’s going on with clients and people of questionable character hanging around plus all the potential security risks I get stressed out simply thinking of going back there. (Damn is this sun making my laptop HOT!) honestly I did think about doing some job hunting with this extra time I have to myself. Guess I could. Wouldn’t hurt. (The Queen Mary ship nearby just blew her horn so I’m thinking that might be my que to split. Its weird but I have noticed the police watching me since I came here today. I only started experiencing this over the last few years and I don’t really dwell on it. I’m simply aware. A black soldier recently fled to Korea he says to get away from the crazy racist shit that happens here. I totally understand how he feels. Damn this seafood smells really good blowing around from these restaurants on the marina. I’m really tempted to go get some shrimp. Then again I can use doordash for that later since they gave me credit for screwing up my order yesterday. Doordash and Uber Eats have dropped the ball several times with my food recently. I need to stop spending money on these services. Well I’m about to end this but next week I’m planning to start rehearsals for my new Sins short and things are moving along with my comics and the animation so despite all the chaos of life I’ve still remained productive… 

Update: On my way home a cool chick with a facial disfigurement gave me strawberry Jarittos soda because she didn't have a can opener. I ended up going to Chipotle for a chicken bowl also.

Confessions of a sad superhero book 120

 Delayed response and other strange happenings. 

Part 1

I got a surprise the other day when Mr. Ninja called me up out of the blue. It was a cool conversation I guess. We talked about things in general going on at work and it was different talking to him this time because all I kept thinking was how to end the conversation and get off the phone. Meanwhile, he kept asking me if I was working that night even after I'd already told him a couple of times during our conversation. I gotta figure out a healthy way to deal with this. Dude came by my place and I think when he saw the clutter it just changed the dynamic. I still believe asking him to come up that first time was a mistake even though things kinda got hot and heavy. Perhaps my mistake was not taking him up on his offer to help me clean up? Perhaps I was so embarrassed thats the reason I didn't let him help me? Its ironic because my apartment is due for inspection next week so I HAVE to unclutter the place. Could use the help but right now its so hot and they say this weekend will be a really HOT one. Then again will it be too much temptation you know...us being in the same space alone and all? I did tell him we are just friends going forward but friends do hang out together from time to time I guess. But when you are trying to get over someone...well sometimes it takes a while for the lust to go away. Maybe in some cases it never really goes away. I suppose then it simply lies dormant. Its the craziest thing  having a powerful attraction for someone and you really don't want to be because you know the other person will never feel the same way. Maybe sometimes some people do eventually come around though because a few people from my past have hit me up recently. My theory is once folks have a taste of reality they come to understand they really should have given some of us a chance because all this time ya'll coulda been in a healthy relationship.

Part 2 

8.11.2023

So I'm really starting to think I've been hacked because most of my electronic stuff has been acting kinda funky but I honestly mostly don't care as weird as that sounds. I'm pretty sure someone has hacked my instagram because I'm always noticing things that i supposedly clicked on with likes yet these are things I have not clicked on so I've said it before and I'll say it again....some people just have too much extra time on their hands. But...whatever. I just had to pay my animator a grip of moolah plus a couple of artists for doing comic related work then I ordered a few things I needed from Lowes. The inspection on my apartment was done yesterday. I did a pretty decent clean up before the guy came through. I guess I did okay because he didn't take any photos and despite the clutter its organized and its actually rare for me to see a roach in my place these days because I use so many different types of poisons along with plenty of roach preventive measures. Trash with food goes in plastic airtight bags. This is usually promptly thrown in the trash chute in the hallway. Sometimes I spray the chute or toss a few pesticides down it as well. Better to overdo things when it comes to these pests. I may have Sir Nathan come over at some point sooner than later to help me remove my bed. Meanwhile I assembled a shoe rack the other day ordered from Amazon. Where else? And...tonight at work was particularly tough as my eyes were so tired due to disturbed sleep from that damn inspection...

My vacation is coming up but its unlikely I will go anywhere. Might go to Long Beach to sit out by the water for awhile but thats about it. Was considering going to visit my mother and even though Florida tickets are cheap now (I wonder why) I can wait till Oct. Especially since I already have so many other financial obligations. Still need to get that root canal done. Maybe in Oct me and my friend in Texas who I've been talking with might meet up in Vegas. I'm still skittish on dating but I'm trying to remain open to it. Someone from my past has been reaching out since we came across each other on the dating app (which I have tried to cancel my membership yet Match.com makes this very difficult to actually pull off!) Mr. Ninja remains someone I have chosen to avoid because I realize it was a big mistake getting involved with him. Maybe in the future a friendship will be possible but I can't risk that right now because although most of my romantic feelings for him are gone theres still the attraction factor. It hasn't completely faded. Yet. Out of sight out of mind does wonders for resistance though! In other news it appears the FTC is doing yet another appeal to block the Microsoft/Activision/Blizzard acquisition. My God, I am so tired of these people. Yep, I am rooting for Microsoft because I'd like to see them back on top again like they were when the 360 was hot.

Confessions of a sad superhero book 119

Up all night listening to "Kroq" on the radio. Longing for a breeze from my window because this fan is barely enough...😭

"The only thing I did wrong was fall for the wrong person. I didn't do anything wrong except fall for you. A person I was never meant to be with. Now the chance for us to be friends is ruined and I can't even look at your picture" 

I had a dream. Don't remember much of it except I was in a house somewhere. Seemed to be a pretty big house. I get the feeling it might have been somewhere in Louisiana. Maybe it was the home of Lestat? I dunno. Its gotten really hot here in Los Angeles and I'm really lusting for an air conditioner. Probably end up investing in one of those this year. Now much in the way of extra cash these days since alot of my cashflow is funneled into projects. Its no exaggeration to say because I've been going thru so much trying to get this guy out of my head and my life that I've become numb to so much. I avoind him at work but still end up running into him so now I've gotten to thinking of quitting. Isn't that nuts? its obvious he's been avoiding me too because he doesn't come in early anymore or stop through to put his lunch in the fridge anymore. Its insane that two people who connected are now reduced to staying away as if we both have some terrible disease. Honestly I will probably never really know the whole story on what went wrong with us. I suspect this is someone I should have only tried to have a friendship with. So many we probably come across we are not meant to sleep with. Some we meet should never become these fixtures in our lives and we mess up when we go there. Sometimes there are even warning signs or red flags we ignore. So here I am. But I am gonna be going back to taking public transportation because its too expensive taking Uber or Lyft to work every night. I was doing this largely to avoid so much of the riffraff on the metro these days plus its convenient but there are times I miss listening to music on a bus or train ride to work also there are times its socially awkward riding in a car with someone who clearly is not interested in having a conversation with you. Some folks are just fucking mean and have no business interacting with the public but anyway... 

The guy I went to have lunch with last week just got himself an Xbox Series S via his internet service provider having a promotion. He is NOT a gamer but he called me and I kinda helped him to understand just what that little white box he has is capable of. Streaming movies. Listening to music. Surfing the web. Maybe even videochat. Its a system that plays videogames yet it can do so much more. I have considered going over his place to help him hook everything up but I gotta be careful not to give the wrong idea. I think he's okay but not my type at all. Could be a possible friendship connection but he definitely vibrates on a lower frequency than me. What I'm saying is that he reminds me of some other people I know who at times it can be a challenge being around them because they seem unhappy or cynical plus their anxiety seems to trigger my anxiety. Some people make you happy being around them or they make you feel comfortable. Thats the kind of energy I need in my life and I'd like to bring that myself as well. 

Its been a week of back-and-forth texts with me and a nice guy who lives in Texas and is originally from Botswana. We did finally talk on the phone yesterday and it was a very nice conversation. The dude came here when he was pretty young and he's a physical therapist with two kids. He also has his own ranch. We talked about so many things and it was an enlightening as well as educational experience for me. I think many people have interesting things happen to them but this guy had my attention the whole time. I asked him so many questions because he's so interesting. Lets call him "Sir Squatch" (since I am always teasing him about Bigfoot coming to his ranch to steal his cattle!) Sir Squatch has two adult aged sons he adopted. They are survivors of Katrina and one has dealt with some challenges regarding anxiety so this really hit close to home for me of course since I am the poster child for anxiety. Well one of them anyway. There was a third child but that adoption was reversed due to some problems. Sir Squatch and I had a very interesting talk about whats going on in Uganda regarding "the gay issue" and he brought up a good point about how the US may be over stepping in trying to affect what others do in other parts of the world. Also we spoke on what he called propaganda regarding China or Russia supposedly taking advantage of or even abusing connections with Africa. Seems there has mostly always been friendly relations between them and maybe the US is getting nervous as the balance of power may be shifting and Africa isn't so much dependent on them these days. Its always wonderful when you are able to learn something from someone smarter than you. Its equally wonderful to talk with someone smarter than you that you can actually respect. As far as attraction goes I told Sir Squatch all about my situation with Mr. Ninja and he's understanding. We talked about maybe meeting up on my birthday vacation but since the days I am off don't line up with his and I doubt I can change it this close to the time requested we discussed an alternative. Now I always take off for Halloween and he was planning to go to Vegas this year so we might make arrangements to synch our schedules so we can meet over there for pumpkin day. I imagine being in Vegas for halloween will be an event with shows and things so this is something worth looking into. 

Confessions of a sad superhero book 118

 So I'm starting to feel alot like the old me. The me before all the crazy stuff happened and I lost my mind then over time all the pieces (most of them) started to come back together again. I think it really dawned on me this morning how overwhelmed I am with things I have going on and the more my focus grows I realize thinking about any relationship related shit is a luxury I can't afford. Now I did briefly see a certain person as they came in to work yesterday morning but as I was on my way to my Uber and dude made no attempt to slow down well it feels like some sort of reboot has happened in our origin story. Its been so long since we have really talked or seen each other longer than 5 seconds it is really like we never met or got to know each other at all. Its feeling more like a distant dream meanwhile the reality that I am behind in so many other things is growing heavy. I saw a little infomercial on YouTube yesterday where he said something that made me think. He said you likely have 75 years on this planet and you really need  to start living and quit wasting time. I think more and more about my parents and sometimes other family members leaving this world and if i dwell on it its painful...it hurts to think about how much time I wasted when I should have been spending it with them because when they're gone...well you know how  that goes. 

I did call my father yesterday. We spoke for about half an hour at least. Turns out my stepmother is in the hospital again but this time its related to her kidneys. This particular illness seems to run in her family and I keep getting angry because theres this part of me that wonders if those doctors down there know what they are doing. Also my father and Geraline have come down with Covid. He says they caught it at the hospital but since they both had the shots the symptoms are pretty tame. He just has to stay quarantined for another 3-5 days. I plan to call my mother today. I still haven't decided when I'm visiting this year. Usually its around Halloween but maybe this year I'll go for Christmas or turkey day (Not that I eat turkey or any other meat outside of seafood anymore) and go see my father on New Years day. 

Sinead O'Connor passed yesterday. She was 56 and is known for the Prince song "Nothing Compares To You" This talented woman made headlines by ripping up a picture of the Pope on Saturday night live. This pretty much black balled her in the industry but now I'm hearing folks owe her an apology due to all that has gone down with the catholic church over the years... She struggled with some mental health issues and converted to Islam some years back and also had to deal with her son committing suicide. Something she never really bounced back from. Its pretty crazy the shit that people go thru and when you see it you re-think some of the stuff you stress about. Rest in power, Sinead. This world can't hurt you anymore.

I did go on that breakfast meet yesterday. It was hotter than I expected outside and the coupon dude had for the restaurant was for the wrong one so I suggested we go to Starbucks. It was great to get out of the heat but i realized dudes anxiety might be worse than mine because as we stood there in line he wasn't talking to me and it felt incredibly awkward. Actually considered bailing because he was making my anxiety kick in. Still when we sat down and the conversation started flowing his cool points multiplied. Not my type really but it doesn't matter because what I really need right now are friends. There is another person I might go spend some time with on my birthday next month. I already told him I'm shelving dating but this guy and I have been texting for a week and theres definitely a cool connection communication-wise. Thing is with my animation project and now a short film in the works it might simply be financially unwise to plan any luxury non family related trips until at least next year sometime. I really would love to get out of town for a few days but I gotta be patient. Somethings one must sacrifice for the cause. Another thing...Sir Nathan is still not responding to my messages on social media and it appears his phone is off. This is the part where Sergio gets worried. Meanwhile I gotta replace him in the cartoon because I need an actor. Also an actress. Placed an ad online for the jobs this morning. Gotta decide on a storyboard artist too. Well its late and i need to leave work or risk running into you know who. Just feels like we need to keep our distance for awhile. At least thats how I feel. Trying to not open any old wounds you know...

Confessions of a sad superhero book 117

 The last few weeks have been kind of a slow blur. Just like in the video games I did alot of sleeping and letting the days flash forward and the downside is so much has happened I gotta try to remember everything so I can jot it down here. My addiction to these shrimp skewers I have been ordering via doordash has grown. I've also gotten hooked on bear attack videos on Youtube and playing Vampire The Masquerade Bloodhunt on PS5. But hey some things are cool to be addicted to I guess. Uncool things include thinking about people who don't really care whether you live or die. It took a while (like two months) of emotional turmoil but I think for the most part I got over my "love sickness" regarding a certain person I was rather fond of that I met at the workplace. Basically I made the decision to stay away from dude. I still haven't been able to bring myself to look at his photos. Out of sight out of mind, you know? It gets exhausting thinking about all the what if I did this or that differently. Blaming myself for not saying or doing the right thing. Blaming him. Pondering if maybe we never should have gotten intimate in the first place. Of course, looming deadlines can help take ones mind off these things. Responsibilities you know? Also, I've been trying to edge back into dating but ultimately decided to step back from that because the truth is I'm just not ready. Not now. I'm probably still gonna try to be a bit more social. Like I am meeting someone today for breakfast but there are so many other things I have to focus on for me to be happy or to feel accomplished...dating or trying something like that feels like putting the carriage before the horse. I know now I'm not gonna be happy with someone until I feel like I'm bringing something to the table. My life is in a flux right now and the projects I started need my full attention. That includes giving my place a much-needed makeover. I'm gonna be off next month for my birthday and I've some ideas. Was hoping to get Sir Nathan to help me but he's been missing in action (hopefully he's okay) but theres no getting around some stuff must go into storage. Speaking of missing in action my therapist called the other day. She left a message explaining whats been going on in her life. The pregnancy was a difficult one but she's okay and back giving sessions again. In other news the Microsoft deal is actually finally happening. FTC has been asked to back off their Sony-inspired crusade by the government to try and stop the acquisition. I'm so glad and really hope Microsoft can use this victory to get back to really competing in the games industry. Just...no more stupid decisions or doing anti-consumer shit. It does seem though for every good step these companies take they eventually go and do something to mess things up. We'll see what happens next. I'm just tired of Xbox being in 3rd place. Other stuff going on is there is a lot of talk concerning reparations and rolling back of certain laws. There are certainly some things happening in society right now which should have more people alarmed but it may be so much is going on is hard to focus on things and some parties are using these "distractions" to slip things thru and nobody is really taking notice. Many people seem to have attention deficiencies or they are apathetic towards stuff. Is it simply the age we live in or is something else going on? Do I need to break out my tin foil hat? 

There is this guy I connected with off the dating app who seems nice. We have actually been texting back and forth for a week. Video chat is incoming but I've come to realize this is someone I myself am not compatible with although as a person I've grown fond of him. Really I'm worried he'll want to break off things if he realizes I can't date him. Dude is looking for a husband and Igotta tell him that I recently came to understand I'm not ready to date anyone. Probably will be quite some time before I'm ready. For the sake of my well being I cannot allow myself to get attached to anyone after what I just went through. It was a nightmare. I have lost weight. I neglected my projects. Friends and family. Inside I was pretty messed up to the point all I wanted to do was stay in the house and stay in bed. Felt worthless truthfully and I know this whole thing has changed me. Lets just say I have discovered my kryptonite. Just imagine going through one of the worst things you ever experienced so why would you want to put yourself on the line like that again? Anyway thats all I'm saying about that. From now on all I want to do is move forward and one day all this will be merely a distant and unpleasant memory. So I said before that there are concerning things going on in the world right now...well months ago the writers went on strike and now the actors are too. This has effectively shut down Hollywood. I mean its happening because productions are halting and other industry professionals are joining the fight. Hollywood bigwigs are making millions and billions while the talent (just as has been a problem in the music industry) are receiving pennies. One incredibly hot actor I have the hugest crush on (Ian Verdun) made a really cool video on his instagram talking about how shitty the biz treats actors. Now there is talk of UPS workers going on strike.  In the UK they are about to pass a law that will force companies to stop screwing consumers by selling us electronic shit and not allowing us the option to change the batteries. So when the battery dies you either have to go get a specialist to replace it or do what most folks do and simply upgrade. I'm starting to hear about  more backlash against the LGBT community because of how some stuff is being directed towards children and folks are getting frustrated about immigrants coming here and recieving help while needs in communities here are being overlooked. Its getting crazy out here. 

Confessions of a sad superhero book 116

 (To Foreign Exchange playlist on Spotify)

Things I have learned:

Sometimes when people are intimidated by you they will act out in curious ways...

1. Ignoring you.

2. Being mean.

3. Gossiping.

4. Copying you.

5. Dispute and try to bait you into arguments or awkward situations.

6. Sometimes it IS them and not you.

7. Some people (either due to diet, genetics or spiritual issues) have hormone or testosterone imbalances and it is why they behave the way they do. 

8. Some of us are better off staying single.

9. Misery DOES in fact love company

10. Some people take certain jobs because they would never last working somewhere else.

11. Always hold on to at least one dream.

12. Theres nothing wrong with taking a "mental health day" off from work.

13. Never make important life altering decisions when you're upset. (This actually was a quote from the police chief on the tv show "New York Undercover" that I remember from when I was a wee lad.)

14. Save that money for a rainy day.

15. Always have a contingency plan. Like Batman.

I had an interesting conversation with a rideshare driver the other night. Initially whenI got in the car and tried to have a conversation he was rude and standoffish until I brought up the Microsoft acquisition of Activision and how shady some businesses and politicians can be. Dude blew my mind by completely opening up and getting into a spirited conversation with me about the military leaving Iraq as well as corruption in businesses and having hope in a world that seems to be spiraling out of control morality-wise. He was a cute white guy probably early 30's and he talked like he had a military background. Definitely the reserved mysterious type. Masculine in that country boy kind of way. So he was Batman if Batman was raised on a farm in Kansas and then he had to watch his folks gunned down in an alley. Maybe he was Clark who watched his folks gunned down? Anyway I do tend to have some great talks with Lyft and Uber drivers. Some won't talk but this is usually due to a language barrier although of course, some folks are just assholes. The other day before the other day I had a good discussion with another cute white guy about the whole Microsoft vs FTC circus and I think I may have inadvertently convinced dude to buy a Logitech G Cloud. This guy was absolutely gorgeous to the point it was painful. Well not really painful but he was hot. It does definitely seem in many ways I share more interests with white fellows and we are usually able to get along. Brothas have that edge about them and I gotta admit at times it does make being around some exhausting. Last week all I did was walk by this young brotha (near the job) of around age 25ish and he muttered "white boy" under his breath to insult me while holding his phone. I have seen videos on social media of people walking past folks while acting like they are talking on their phone and they mumble something inflammatory. Its all on purpose but its a slick way to maybe make it seem you won't be held accountable as the insulting person can't exactly prove you were talking to or about them. Some humans have too much time on their hands. 

Had another one of those weird exchanges on IGN last night. IGN formerly known as "Game sages" used to be a website primarily dedicated to the culture of videogames but now they have branched out into all facets of pop culture. Perhaps not so much on the music side of things but anyway there was an article about a young hacker being sentenced for causing mayhem with GTA6 and I responded to the article by talking about hacker issues experienced at work which resulted in our cloud access being restricted. This really stung because I'd purchased a Logitech G Cloud for cloud gaming shortly before they really cracked down here since some youngin got the center in trouble. I also mentioned the DOS attacks on consoles that used to cause issues for the gaming community during the holidays. Also, I mentioned not being able to game with certain titles on breaks since the new changes with our network. This jerk had the nerve to respond to me "Oh poor guy can't game at work! LOL" Then he put a laughing emoji and I was like...Man, you are not even adding anything to the topic being discussed and are only here to take cheap shots at me for whatever reason. For the record, I have worked on my job for many years. What is your point? Are you saying I shouldn't take breaks? Get a life. Over the years the comments sections of IGN have become a breeding ground for some of the most contemptible individuals. There is alot of unfiltered hate for people who fall within certain demographics. It got to the point that IGN had to start having moderators monitor the comments sections. I'm sure this person responded the way he did because he noticed I mentioned WHERE I WORK in my reply. At times I am ashamed to share the same hobbies/interests with some of these "peers". I miss the days when games, comics, and superheroes only belonged to us nerd folk. Now they just let anybody in the door because these things are trendy. 

I think the Microsoft acquisition is a done deal now. Although the FTC filed an appeal it doesn't appear the courts are gonna honor it. This needed to happen before midnight which was a few hours ago. I'm happy because I really wanna see a Call Of Duty game on my Nintendo Switch. Also, I am pretty much convinced Sony have become bullies. Sort of like how at times the LGBT community acts like bullies too but thats another discussion. HopefullyMicrosoft will revive some of the Activision titles that have laid dormant for a while. This will definitely make Sony change some of their practices because well they have to in order to compete. They did start this whole $70.00 price tag for games and they fought tooth and nail against being able to game on your PlayStation with or against folks on other platforms. I am gonna take my lunch now but before I go play some games on my laptop I will log onto social media to see how the Microsoft situation has progressed...

Back from lunch. My supervisor really got on my nerves just now. They were getting on me for taking my break at 4am and i tried to explain that we are short and whenever there is no supervisor here I tend to run into issues getting my breaks. This I found out from other people is because folks don't like working at this particular station because it has added responsibility. All the other things people do and get away with but because I took my break late this time it feels like I'm committing a capital offense. The guy I spoke with on the dating site said he never had to work somewhere and deal with people having authority over him and I try to imagine a life like that. I do certainly appreciate this job but I am at a time in my life where I am tired of people not smarter than me having control over my life. There are also people in certain positions who throw their weight around or treat you some kind of way and it can affect your self-esteem if you are not careful. I need to be my own boss sooner than later.

(Listening to Lady T playlist on Youtube)

This trans prostitute just shook my nerves by coming up and tapping loudly on the door. Sent my heart racing. I just ignored her because I just don't wanna get caught up in some drama especially right before my shift ends. Months ago we had some insane trans person who was doing this and really gave me a start one night. Its something that when your adrenalin kicks in and your body releases chemicals it can really do a number on one and sometimes it takes a minute to come down from these stressful moments. So what happens to the mind and body when one is constantly in a stressful environment? I mean literally ALL the time without really relaxing? What do you become?