Confessions of a sad superhero book 81

 Comic Con LA came and went just like the rest of the year. Honestly, it seems this year whizzed by. Some things were accomplished yet there is always room for improvement. I guess thats always the case right? I found out my boss is leaving in Feb. A cool officer transferred to another location and I will be working on the 23rd when typically I get the holidays off. (The 23rd and 26th are being recognized as holidays this year since Christmas and Christmas Eve fall on the weekend) Alot of folks are on vacation and we're short on guards. At least thats what my supervisor told me. Mentally I am in a good place. For the most part. I think thats probably because at any given time I have so many things on my mind I can't really focus on any one thing for too long. Sadness. Loneliness. Insanity. Etc. (I've been dreaming frequently too. Dreamt about my father and my Grandma Mary today/yesterday) I find myself laughing alot to myself these days so that is a good thing. Just laughing at some funny scenarios that play out in my mind or some of life's ironies. I know I have said this before but life is so much easier to navigate thru when you have a thing or things to look forward too. Sometimes I do feel I might be trying to do too much but what can you do right? I did shoot another episode of Nerds With Badges last weekend. It didn't go quite the way I expected but it did get done. First off my cop guest canceled literally at the last minute. He left a text saying his daughter got Covid so he had to take her to the emergency room. I'm not entirely certain I believe him. It is what it is. Just the timing of it all seems suspect you know?

So without a guest and against my better judgement I decided to go ahead and film anyway. $600.00 for a professional crew. I got the space for free and my "co-host" Elijah agreed to give me a freebie session since he'd ghosted me and Sir Nathan of Lovecraftonia. Turned out I should have gone with my instinct and pushed everything back until I had a guest because even though we had some good dialogue Elijah and I ended up having a falling out due to a really weird misunderstanding that just came out of nowhere. He came in a few minutes late even though I specifically asked him to be on time since the owner of the space was sweating me about the strict two hour limit he was giving me. That was because he was unable to completely give an edit of the episode I paid him $450.00 to shoot months ago. Some software issue made half the episode mute. So as Elijah came in I was talking to the crew and said after someone said Elijah was coming we need to be sure it was indeed him and not a fembot (a reference to men or women robots that fought the Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman on both their respective tv shows) Elijah actually got offended and later basically exploded on me as we were getting ready to start filming when I mentioned the part in As Good As It Gets when due dropped the guys dog down the trash shute. Elijah was like "Would  you think it was funny if I said the part where the gay guy got beat up was funny?" Then when I was like where did that come from? He went on to say I didn't really know him and that he was ghetto or something and there are gonna be some things we need to be clear on or something to that effect. I was baffled and justifiably offended as well as weirder out he was pulling a stunt like this in front of other business professionals. Really honestly I was confused as hell.  

When all was said and done with the shoot we all went our separate ways as usual and I stuck around with the crew to take some photos on the rooftop until my uber arrived. But...as time went on and everything hit me I realized dude had came for me during that shoot and that feeling of "uncomfortableness" that had blindsided me wasn't something I could just let go. After having some time to think about it I sent homeboy a text telling him because of what was said to me I'd decided to go solo with my show from now on. He tried to call and sent me back a text saying he apologized for offending me but I have said some things that have offended him. So I need to be held accountable as well. He urged me to listen to a voicemail which I did. He also said he hoped we could talk. He mentioned being sick that day and still managing to come to do the show. He said some crap  to me about how him being a heterosexual man I need to basically not cross certain lines or something like that and really as I thought more about the whole thing it dawned on me that he has definitely said plenty of stuff that could be considered offensive. I think I even have some on camera and often have to remind him to be careful what he says on camera. Even Sir Nathan of Cronus has said some things Elijah says concern him. Especially since they are both in the industry but anyway it seems Elijah got the wrong impression about the fembot comment and I sent him a video youtube clip from TSMDM and TBW showing them fighting fembots. In hindsight I recall some gay folks like to use the term fembot and thats probably why Elijah reacted thinking it the equivalent of saying "girl" like some gay folks call each other. Maybe he thought I was calling him a diva? Anyway I am probably gonna be mad for awhile because the whole thing was just stupid. He said some things also about me being mad cool and how he hopes this doesn't create bad blood but honestly part of me wonders if such a small thing could make him trip well... Also what kinds of experiences do other productions have with this guy? We don't really know each other and some heterosexual people can be weird with the whole gay thing even if initially they can seem accepting. I just need to be careful about the types of individuals I allow in my life and to listen more to my instincts as something was strongly saying to cancel THAT Sunday. My instincts are also a bit concerned about my planned trip to Disney THIS coming Sunday (Christmas) come to think of it. I was hoping to go with a cool guy from work but he's scared of Covid and I'm not sure I wanna go it alone you know? Guess I need to make a decision regarding that soon. (Sigh)

And in other news... 

One of my favorite celebrities died this week via suicide. Twitch was one of the sexiest black men I have ever seen and I have been a fan for years because I used to watch "So You Think You Can Dance" almost religiously at one point on Hulu. That was something I would always do in the morning when I came home from work waaay back when Captain Liberia was staying with yes. Mental health is starting to get alot of airtime as of late but I can't help but get angry everytime dwell on how much money the nation spends on war and other things instead of doing something to help those of us that struggle with mental illnesses. I mean with some of us its depression. Some people are bipolar. Then theres schitzophrenia...shit like that. My thing is really just severe social anxiety and social awkwardness. Sometimes its some depression but nothing so severe I would wanna try and check out you know. Sometimes I think I could help others deal with these things but I'm not really sure about that. I mean to say I doubt anyone is gonna wanna listen to me. Life can be REALLY tough at times and it can be a damn nightmare if you're out here without support,outlets of expression and being able to look at how others have been able to keep on going. Of course it goes without saying that some days are better than others. Speaking of Captain Liberia he called me and sent me some FB messages. I just told him in texts I have been so occupied with life yet that is only partially true. The other reason I've not called him is because I have being working on weaning myself from people who I have probably outgrown. Well you know how that goes. So I might call him on his birthday. I might. 

Confessions of a sad superhero book 80

 I am sitting here (at work) listening to chill reggae music and this other person just sat down and literally started playing music loud on her phone and its weird to me people will do stuff like that. Almost as if trying to disrupt my energy instead of just putting on headphones. Is she trying to get a reaction? I guess thats almost as weird as people deciding to call in sick the day after I do it. Lol. Then there are the people who keep walking up and trying to pull the door open while I am sitting here at the desk. Just random folks off the street. They often seem determined to pull the door open and enter. There was a time when these doors weren't even locking here! Just what exactly were they expecting to happen if they did manage to come inside??? My life is populated with interesting characters I tell you. Not saying they are all bad people but I guess I will never cease being perplexed by some human behavior. Yes I am sure its safe to say some folks call me a character too... So moving along...

Anyways...I went on a sort of date yesterday (Mon) with someone I met at work and it was pretty cool. Since he's very private I have to respect his wishes and not reveal his identity. This particular person is someone I usually see when I am leaving in the morning and they are usually masked up and wearing a hat with a hoodie and to be honest the first time I actually got a good look at his face was the night we chatted via the whatsapp video app via my phone. Dude shocked me because he is absolutely gorgeous. I know its funny because it was almost like going on a blind date. We went to the Grove and had lunch at Cheesecake factory. The conversation was cool and there was some flirting going on. But to me its kinda weird being out with someone and feeling so...low key. Like dude didn't want me to post any photos of him so we couldn't take any picture together that I could share. Theres potential for a good friendship I think. Possibly. I'm not really feeling a strong need to be romantically linked with anyone at this stage in my life. We did also dream about each other. I dreamt he was putting a hickey on my neck and dude said he dreamt of making love to me. Its unusual for me to dream about people especially people who I have not known for awhile but it is especially interesting that someone into me that I am into dreamt of me like the same day I did about him. We are slated to go to an amusement park for the holiday. Considering I am still in town of course because I do still want to go see my Dad before the year ids out. We'll see how things go. At lunch I ordered grilled salmon and he got some crusted salmon. He was quick to mask up after we ate. He forgot his hat and had to go back to look for it with success. Yes I was tempted to invite him back to my place but you know I gotta do some serious cleaning up before that can happen. Although he did offer to help me move some furniture around at a later date. Dude has an interesting background in that like Captain Liberia he is a transplant from overseas. I have felt for the longest I will end up with a guy from another country. We'll see I guess.

Comic Con LA came and went like a blur. I was able to go and took plenty of photos/videos for social media and Nerds With Badges. Went over my spending budget too but we are not gonna get into that. There was a Black Comic Con type event I missed this weekend. Shot a new NWB video just a few hours ago and will be doing an episode with a guest this weekend that I gotta prepare for. Next year I want to do an episode of New york Comic Con. That is gonna be quite the event. I should have plenty of stuff to promote also because the fruits of my creative labors are about to yield a bountiful harvest...

Confessions of a sad superhero book 79

Listening to the "Loose Ends" R&B station on Pandora. 

The last few weeks have been interesting to say the least. First off I wanted to make an effort not to come here all the time when there was bad news or I was upset about something. I dunno. It seems thats how it is most of the time so I waited until I felt a bit more balanced. Been dreaming alot lately too. Not that i'm complaining. The last dream however was much like an action suspense horror thingie. I was in a gas station and it was being held up. The whole thing played out all the way to the end with the main antagonist getting shot in the groin by a sheriff who responded to calls for help from a young boy who was being attacked. I kid you not. This was one of the most realistic dreams I have ever had. I wish i could wake up and the last two years were all a horror suspense thriller. Anyway I am in the process of editing the botched Nerds With Badges episode fragments. I think I can piece together something serviceable but the files are sooo big and since they have done something to the internet here (due to the kids hacking shit and almost getting the center sued) its taking forever. as it is I can't get online to play Mario Kart matches online and Vampire The Masquerade Bloodhunt refuses to even load the title screen. So there is no way to play offline apparently without an internet connection. I suspect some sort of firewall has been put up now. This happened right when I came back from my Halloween Florida trip to see Mommy and them.

I didn't do anything over the Thanksgiving holiday. Just rested and played games. Watched movies. Some folks wanted to hang out but I wasn't really in the mood. Seems I barely have time for myself. Real time to just relax and enjoy the fruits of my labor. You know? Captain Liberia called but I have not bothered to respond. Theres this weird instinct that keeps telling me to stay away. Telling me not to waste anymore time on a raggamuffin who really ain't as into me as he'd have me believe at times. Its like he will let time go by and before it gets too long he will return to sink his hooks back in my brain matter. Thats what it feels like. Its like that song by the Supremes. You don't really love me you just keep me hanging on. I am working hard to get bro out of my system and this other guy from work seems into me but he's not really my type. I maybe could give him a friendship but I need to be tactful in letting him know I can't go there. I did say I was taking a break from dating and it just feels right right now. 

I did buy a few things for Black Friday. Got some crazy deals on a few games. Actually got up off my butt and went down to Gamestop to get the new Digimon game which was mad cheap for Black Friday. I actually did all my laundry and cleaned up a bit in my place. Its starting to look...well its starting to look almost like a place I would have someone stop thru for a visit. Almost. That old depression can really do a number on you. I think its safe to say I have bounced back from a very dark place. When you have enough time to yourself I think the mind can get a chance to heal itself from all the BS. BS from other people mostly I think. Speaking of BS I had a sparkling water stolen from the fridge at work just before we went on our four day break. I have two suspects really. I can't prove anything of course because people are sneaky as hell but mostly I am inclined to think it was a certain security guard I work with on certain days. I saw this person go in the kitchen and heard them rambling around in the fridge. When I asked them if they saw my drink they denied it but...whatever. The other suspect might be a person who was mad at me because I said something when they jumped up to go thru pastries left for the security dept after a guard said they were for us in front of them. I was like those are for the security guards. They were PISSED because they brought it up alot after and acted incredibly offended but I was like what do you think would happen if someone brought out food for your dept and I ran over like "OOOH let me see! Mine MINE MINE! SHARE!" So like I said two suspects. Was I wrong to check said individual? Whatever the case the end result is I know not to trust any of these bozos around here. Stealing from your co-workers or trying to be petty creates an unsafe environment especially when it can pit folks against each other. I keep expecting people to be noble and just I swear.

Irene Cara died over the holiday. She was a phenomenal artist and contributed greatly to my early teen years. She was only 63. Lady had/has an amazing voice. Very distinctive style too. Like a Mariah and Chante mix only without all those crazy high notes. Flashdance and Fame are two things I can't even imagine having grown up without.

Comic Con is this weekend. I might go with Sir Nathan of Palisades. (I always change Nathan's name to "Sir Nathan" of something. Its a running joke between us I suppose) I was considering doing another Nerds episode this weekend and somehow incorporating a Comic Con trek into it. Might have to film it myself though. No need to pay someone a small fortune to do something you can do yourself right? Its funny that more and more I am learning some of the things I have hired others to do for me I definitely could have done waaay better. It just takes time and practice...

Confessions of a sad superhero book 78

 Everywhere I have ever worked there is always at least one person who plays the role of arch nemesis for me. I guess every good superhero needs some good villains and my story definitely has more than a few. Honestly you can just mind your business, stay to yourself and people will still come for you. I have a situation at work with a maintenance supervisor who reported me to my bosses because he saw my computer that I leave at a table up in a room on the second floor. He claims my computer equipment makes it problematic for his workers to clean the area. Now I myself actually clean the area everyday before I use it because folks leave ood in the room often and the table is usuallly covered with grimey sticky finger prints and I don't wanna put my stuff on it because only God knows where the hands of those prints have been. I swear some folks are just so NASTY but anyway I'm wondering if this is something personal. Of course even if it is I can't prove anything and I really hope this isn't a racial thing. Dude seemed kinda okay even though I gotta admit I did get a weird vibe from him from the get go. Ever since I asked him if he had to wait long to get inside the parking gate (since another maintenance worker told me he asked her if she had to wait at times to get in the parking gate). I try tolet people understand our situation with the gate. Sometimes we have to leave the desk. Sometimes we have to use the restroom. Sometimes it might take a minute for us to see a person is waiting out of all the other monitors on that screen we look at. It would make more sense if folks could simply buzz themselves in via a card instead of just sitting there waiting for us to see them or calling us. Much of the time folks have tinted windows and they do just sit there waiting instead of calling and it can be a big risk letting folks in when we don't even know who it is. Some of the kids that live here are free to come and go as they please and we don't even know who they are when they sit there with the windows down. I had issues with another maintenance supervisor who took photos of my roku I used to have hooked up in the other building so I could listen to music and for people to watch movies on breaks. It just seems crazy that sometimes people will go out of their way to be assholes or power trip over small things overlooking the fact (we) security are constantly being put in potentially dangerous situations and are having to deal with so many other issues... I come to work and try to do my job to the best of my ability. So now YOU wanna come for the very thing that helps keep me centered in this place so yeah of course its gonna feel personal. I try my best to avoid certain types of people because they are trouble but every now and then I stumble into weirdos, people with hidden agendas or certain character defects that would under close scrutiny certify them as bullies. Then there's the occasional person with mental issues and I realize I can't exactly blame them for what they do just as I can't be all mad at a potential druggie or alcoholic since chemicals are running the show. But its frustrating as hell when you deal with someone who is evil yet sneaky enough to hide it and get away scott free most of the time because of circumstance or positions of power. I don't wanna make this about race but it has become abundantly clear due to secretly recorded conversations not all people of color are in unity. Its not always easy to identify racism but I wonder. I guess at this point I need to have a talk with my bosses about this situation because I just don't need anymore BS in my life right now. Especially since my creative energies regarding writing and filmmaking have experienced a recent re-surge. What I'm trying to say is that I have been feeling alot of inspiration lately. Been dreaming more too so this usually is indicative of renewed creativity. I can put that into my work so distractions need to go. It is my intent to work here a few more months and then just take a break from the 9-5 while putting more focus on creative outlets. Security has been good to me and I thank God for being able to put food on my table yet its needless to say there comes a time when you really need to move on in order to grow and that day is...well I can feel its very near. Tired of being in these environments and situations that threaten to tear me down and the weight of stress and toxicity along with having to deal with difficult folks drain so much from me there isn't nearly enough left for me to put into other things. Its just something that needs further thought. I think I'm just tired of eating BS and its taking a toll on me spiritually. Just add me to the long list of Americans who need to take a VERY long vacation.

On a side note someone who has hinted they'd like to take in a movie (Black Panther) gave me his phone number. So at least today wasn't a complete bummer. Of course I have to remember I have said I wasn't gonna be putting any energy into dating because I don't feel ready for it. I don't even like going to the movies with other people. Perhaps I'm putting too much thought into this? (Shrugs shoulders and shuts down laptop)

Confessions of a sad superhero book 77

Thank the gods that the weekend is here! I am sitting here at work waiting for a download off Youtube. I just uploaded (took ALL NIGHT) the new episode of Nerds With Badges after getting the edit from Thurgood the cinematographer who shot everything. So what I'm doing now is getting the lesser quality version off YouTube so I can upload to other places and it won't take forever and a day as larger files would certainly take on my slow ass internet at home. I might try to film another episode this upcoming week. I mean...I have a few ideas. Maybe go with a guest to one of the Halloween themed amusement parks or drive around talking about things. I was gonna rent a room at my job like before but getting everyone scheduled for the shoot was so much of an issue. Oh speaking of my job the other day a guard just went on his break (before my shift) and never came back. The next day his girlfriend came to drop off the walkie and keys but we never got the cell phone back (for detexes) or his ID card which was pretty damn alarming. Some higher ups came in that night because folks were concerned. I remember when I worked for Guardsmark if a guard lost keys it was a major issue because they would have to re-key all the doors you know? Call me paranoid but all kinds of thoughts went thru my mind. Maybe there is a good explanation for what dude did but it could be a security threat someone having access to the building and who's to say a person couldn't take keys home and make copies? Sure most of us here have probably accidentally taken keys home and returned them but this whole situation has me uneasy. Just saying.

I will be on vacation for a few days coming up and have not really decided what I'm gonna do. I was gonna go see "The Captain" but I don't really wanna go somewhere where I have to make sure I get up and am about when everyone else is plus I need a bit of privacy so my mind can get clear from the spiritual clutter you know? Of course I could use this time to work on something. I always think about reading years ago how Nelly said he and his buds locked themselves up in the house and brainstormed until they came up with the foundation to his empire. Working all the time and running back and forth trying to survive I just feel its hard to even focus on anything else. This is probably why so many people feel trapped in their jobs or situations. I think having kids makes it worse because I can see how folks who have kids really don't have much of a life (at least for around 18-21 years) I honestly think its time I focused hard on that one thing instead of so many and just build so everything won't feel so overwhelming at times. I decided the other day to cut all my streaming services because it was too crazy trying to keep up with all the shows and movies. Goodbye, Netflix. Goodbye Hulu and Disney+. The only thing I kept was Amazon because they give me movies and shows. I get the shipping and friendly service and the music service is great because at work I can download stuff for patrol playlists. Its time to narrow focus in my life. 

Well I am about to get up out of here. Might go see Black Adam if I have the energy. Heard it was okay but all showcase with little substance. Mostly its been spoiled who shows up as a cameo also yet Ima go check it out anyway because I've waitied too long for this film. Just like i have waited soooo long for Bayonetta on the Nintendo Switch. This game has been in production for like 5 years. I was wondering if it was ever coming out and then just the other day there was some controversy as the main voice actress said she wasn't paid properly for her work. Folks were taking up her call for a boycott until more info leaked out she may have withheld some story elements. All I can say is that its not always an easy thing to separate the art from the artist...

Confessions of a sad superhero book 76

 The woman who was deleted by the illuminati and other strange stories.

Last week a lady who works here went to Mickey D's and I asked her to bring me back some food. I repaid her with Zelle then earlier tonight when I tried to pay her for getting me more grub her contact info was just gone. I mean like vanished. Thats why I jokingly told her the illuminati probably deleted her. I was joking but sometimes I wonder. Well mostly I wonder if I have been hacked or something because of some strange stuff going on with all my electronic devices lately. Call me paranoid. You know what they say...just because he's paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get him. I'm just mindful of possibilities but I try not to dwell too much on it. Why? Well because I have to pay my bills. I have to make my films. I have to make use of precious time and in the end it doesn't really matter who is or who isn't watching  watching. People have always watched me. Like a damn rainbow is gonna shoot out my ass or something. But that hasn't happened so far. Not that I'm aware of. What else can I say? 

I had a couple of interesting dreams lately. The other day I dreamt me and an old friend were hanging out and he was throwing darts around. One went into someones window. Then yesterday I dreamt about a certain ex-co-worker. It was someone I liked but that became a nightmare rejection of epic proportions that almost cost me my job. Even to this day the spectre of that event haunts me. I try not to think on it and as time passes it gets easier. Even though there are people who seem to go out of their way to remind me what happened by their icy behavior towards me. Still I suspect they may have heard a one-sided event of what happened but in reality it was me being stupid and being attracted to someone who could never actually see me that way. I got in my feelings and I won't beat myself up for that mistake but I will say it was one of many stumbles that made me come to accept whenever I try to love someone it leads to disaster and there's nothing wrong with just deciding relationships are not for you even if society tries to tell you otherwise. I suspect I have become somewhat numb to these things and the more I look around at whats going on the world I realize more and more folks are thinking the same thing I am. Either we have given up or we are evolving? Maybe I've always been asexual. But for now it appears thats what I have become. Emotionally there is no more money left for me to invest in pursuing anyone. So why the hell is "he" showing up in my dreams when I am doing so good in forgetting that dark period of my life. I guess I should not say forgetting. I am recovering then. Thats what I'm doing and every day its gettingbetter. In the dream we went to a KUSC fundraising concert. I suppose thats because I had the radio on and KUSC crept into my mind since they have been doing this drive for the station. 

Damn my coffee is cold. 

I really didn't wanna get into this Kanye mess but dude is really pissing alot of folks off by things he's saying and now the family of George Floyd is coming for him. They are supposedly gonna sue him for 250 mill. I think Kanye sometimes says things that make sense but he has no filters at all. Also he lacks tact. No matter how brilliant he is as an artist I think he needs to take a chill pill for awhile and get back to focusing on his craft. Maybe he's run out of creative energy and thats why he's basically in my eyes derailing his career because his mind is deconstructing. Perhaps this is a danger to any of us artsy folk who lose our ability to channel for whatever reason. Maybe it was his failed marriage and the death of his moms which led to all this. Just my observation. 

Theres a really big Nintendo game coming out soon. Its been in production for years and is the third act for a successful franchise. The lead voice actress was let go after two games and is now asking for a boycott of the third game since she was denied proper wages and replaced by a new person she basically dissed on social media. Now I'd pre-ordered the game since I am familiar with the work of the company yet I can't bring myself to cancel since as others have been saying....there are more than just two sides to a story. Her version. The company and then what the truth is. If she is telling the truth I will take up her offer to donate to charity. Gonna have to see how the drama unfolds.

The sixth episode of Nerds With Badges was completed and the edit is being worked on right now. Hopefully today I can get a copy. As it is I will be off work next shift since I gotta go to the dentist later. I'm gonna try to see if the editor can meet me somewhere and dump the files onto a hard drive. He said its a big file so knowing my internet it will take forever and a day to upload. (That is assuming I won't ask for any changes to be made after reviewing) I'd like to shoot another episode for Halloween and am seeking to rent out another space at my job since it appears I have two guests ready to film. One is a cool LYFT driver who is an ex-marine. The other is a cool dude who has already appeared in two episodes. This time around instead of spending a small fortune to hire a film crew I am just gonna arrive early on the set and set up my own tri-pod and equipmet. Might need to think on getting some mics for sound though. As far as editing goes I might bring on someone else to do that because I don't wanna mess it up. I am running from this but eventually i need to learn how to edit my own shit... 

The comic projects have kinda stalled because I think my mind sorta crashed or maybe it needed a refresh. Recently I saw someone said that you can overwhelm yourself if you have too much going on. There are moments that I wish I could slow time down or moments I wish I had more time to really do the things I wanna. Trips I wanna take. Games I wanna play. Comics I wanna read. Could be that I'm more balanced than I give myself credit for. I still gotta make time to clean up my place the way I want and I need to get in a session with my shrink because there are some things I need to unload. Got some vacation coming up next week so maybe today I will jot down a real schedule so my life will feel like it has some real structure instead of a bunch of random events going on all at the same time. Organization! I do still want to get back to filming on my webseries but for now the priority has got to be finishing my comics before this year is out so I can put my material on sale because yeah its getting near the time to leave this job...

Confessions of a sad superhero book 75

 I just creeped out to the store (711) for some coffee and encountered some drama. There was a dude who kept coming behind the store counter and trying to stab this other guy with a screw driver. Now I had gone earlier and they were closed but I needed to go back because I wanted some quarters to do my laundry but man...was that intense. I walked in and had no idea I had just entered a warzone...

-To be continued-

Update:

So while maintenance was cleaning the lobby I thought I would quickly dip out to the 711 so I could get some quarters for my laundry and maybe a cup of java. As I approached the store i could hear loud thumping bass of music coming from a car in the parking lot and I thought "Here we go. Did they just see me and turn that up?" Because folks sometimes do that when they see a black guy. Maybe they do it to black women too? Anyway as I entered the store I could hear some comotion going on and people were gathered at the counter. Also people were staring at me which is something folks usually do so I just quickly headed to the back to get some energy drinks so I could escape the eyes. Someone was obviously arguing and I noticed it was getting louder while I grabbed my two Rockstar drinks and went to get a cappuchino but the damn machine was out of order...again. I decided to get some coffee instead and as I made my way to the coffee machine I could see one light skinned brother who was looking kinda wild yelling at someone behind the counter. "Nigga this and Nigga that!" Seemed to be trying to get at someone behind the counter and they were both exchanging words back and forth. The dude at the checkout was VERY aggressive and angry. The guy behind the counter would always seem to say something to piss the angry guy off everytime he appeared about to calm down. Eventually the angry bro went behind the counter. He had something in his hand and it turned out to be a screw driver. I guess he was slashing the other guy as security was not really able to do anything to stop him. At first I thought he was trading blows with the other guy who kept saying stuff like "Man you REALLY wanna KILL me??!?!" Like he was incredulous to it all. I was feeling like I was in the twilight zone as I stood there watching everything happen. It was too risky to try and film what was going on but I kept dreading if dude had a fucking gun. He walked past me a few times but didn't really make eye contact and I didn't exactly look away either in those moments. As it were I couldn't really go to the counter to pay for my shit because of everything going on. Just had to wait until all the drama subsided. Angry dude (who looked kinda like dude I saw in a Youtube video earlier who pushed a guy onto train tracks in NY) kept telling the other guy he was gonna be waiting outside for him. I could see the guy who was behind the counter was bloody and he even said at one point he was bleeding. When the angry guy finally went outside somewhat reluctantly I went over to pay for my stuff. The security guy looked frazzled and I was waited on by this cool dude who once gave me some banana sodas. ANother clerk stood looking a bit bemused/amused as I asked if I could get some quarters whilst paying for my stuff and saying "Oh my God" as my heart beat like crazy. The clerk said "How are you doing Sergio?" I hadn't seen him in months and actually was told he'd quit I think. I told him he was a life saver for giving me those quarters because usually they never wanna give up quarters because we are having a stupid shortage of them for whatever reason (Why would a pandemic create a coin shortage?) After I got my quarters I jetted out of there hoping I hadn't been gone long enough that it would get me in trouble. I told the maintenance and other guard what happened when I got back to work and a few minutes later sirens sounded as the police arrived at the 711. I have no idea what happened after but I did think I saw someone running from the area around that time the sirens went off.