The woman who was deleted by the illuminati and other strange stories.
Last week a lady who works here went to Mickey D's and I asked her to bring me back some food. I repaid her with Zelle then earlier tonight when I tried to pay her for getting me more grub her contact info was just gone. I mean like vanished. Thats why I jokingly told her the illuminati probably deleted her. I was joking but sometimes I wonder. Well mostly I wonder if I have been hacked or something because of some strange stuff going on with all my electronic devices lately. Call me paranoid. You know what they say...just because he's paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get him. I'm just mindful of possibilities but I try not to dwell too much on it. Why? Well because I have to pay my bills. I have to make my films. I have to make use of precious time and in the end it doesn't really matter who is or who isn't watching watching. People have always watched me. Like a damn rainbow is gonna shoot out my ass or something. But that hasn't happened so far. Not that I'm aware of. What else can I say?
I had a couple of interesting dreams lately. The other day I dreamt me and an old friend were hanging out and he was throwing darts around. One went into someones window. Then yesterday I dreamt about a certain ex-co-worker. It was someone I liked but that became a nightmare rejection of epic proportions that almost cost me my job. Even to this day the spectre of that event haunts me. I try not to think on it and as time passes it gets easier. Even though there are people who seem to go out of their way to remind me what happened by their icy behavior towards me. Still I suspect they may have heard a one-sided event of what happened but in reality it was me being stupid and being attracted to someone who could never actually see me that way. I got in my feelings and I won't beat myself up for that mistake but I will say it was one of many stumbles that made me come to accept whenever I try to love someone it leads to disaster and there's nothing wrong with just deciding relationships are not for you even if society tries to tell you otherwise. I suspect I have become somewhat numb to these things and the more I look around at whats going on the world I realize more and more folks are thinking the same thing I am. Either we have given up or we are evolving? Maybe I've always been asexual. But for now it appears thats what I have become. Emotionally there is no more money left for me to invest in pursuing anyone. So why the hell is "he" showing up in my dreams when I am doing so good in forgetting that dark period of my life. I guess I should not say forgetting. I am recovering then. Thats what I'm doing and every day its gettingbetter. In the dream we went to a KUSC fundraising concert. I suppose thats because I had the radio on and KUSC crept into my mind since they have been doing this drive for the station.
Damn my coffee is cold.
I really didn't wanna get into this Kanye mess but dude is really pissing alot of folks off by things he's saying and now the family of George Floyd is coming for him. They are supposedly gonna sue him for 250 mill. I think Kanye sometimes says things that make sense but he has no filters at all. Also he lacks tact. No matter how brilliant he is as an artist I think he needs to take a chill pill for awhile and get back to focusing on his craft. Maybe he's run out of creative energy and thats why he's basically in my eyes derailing his career because his mind is deconstructing. Perhaps this is a danger to any of us artsy folk who lose our ability to channel for whatever reason. Maybe it was his failed marriage and the death of his moms which led to all this. Just my observation.
Theres a really big Nintendo game coming out soon. Its been in production for years and is the third act for a successful franchise. The lead voice actress was let go after two games and is now asking for a boycott of the third game since she was denied proper wages and replaced by a new person she basically dissed on social media. Now I'd pre-ordered the game since I am familiar with the work of the company yet I can't bring myself to cancel since as others have been saying....there are more than just two sides to a story. Her version. The company and then what the truth is. If she is telling the truth I will take up her offer to donate to charity. Gonna have to see how the drama unfolds.
The sixth episode of Nerds With Badges was completed and the edit is being worked on right now. Hopefully today I can get a copy. As it is I will be off work next shift since I gotta go to the dentist later. I'm gonna try to see if the editor can meet me somewhere and dump the files onto a hard drive. He said its a big file so knowing my internet it will take forever and a day to upload. (That is assuming I won't ask for any changes to be made after reviewing) I'd like to shoot another episode for Halloween and am seeking to rent out another space at my job since it appears I have two guests ready to film. One is a cool LYFT driver who is an ex-marine. The other is a cool dude who has already appeared in two episodes. This time around instead of spending a small fortune to hire a film crew I am just gonna arrive early on the set and set up my own tri-pod and equipmet. Might need to think on getting some mics for sound though. As far as editing goes I might bring on someone else to do that because I don't wanna mess it up. I am running from this but eventually i need to learn how to edit my own shit...
The comic projects have kinda stalled because I think my mind sorta crashed or maybe it needed a refresh. Recently I saw someone said that you can overwhelm yourself if you have too much going on. There are moments that I wish I could slow time down or moments I wish I had more time to really do the things I wanna. Trips I wanna take. Games I wanna play. Comics I wanna read. Could be that I'm more balanced than I give myself credit for. I still gotta make time to clean up my place the way I want and I need to get in a session with my shrink because there are some things I need to unload. Got some vacation coming up next week so maybe today I will jot down a real schedule so my life will feel like it has some real structure instead of a bunch of random events going on all at the same time. Organization! I do still want to get back to filming on my webseries but for now the priority has got to be finishing my comics before this year is out so I can put my material on sale because yeah its getting near the time to leave this job...
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