APR 24-25^{th 2019} 

I’m still here working in the old lgbt youth building on highland. I suppose we will only be here for a few more days (if that long) before we’re completely moved into the new building. Its quiet and peaceful here with no people around to bother me. Or to look over my shoulder to see what I’m doing. Its all good. Sometimes alittle solitude isn’t a bad thing you know.  I will likely be transferred over into the new building a block away next week when I come back from my vacation. Its been a weird last few days for me so I can use the time to wallow in my thoughts. First off I had a rehearsal scheduled for Monday and one of the two actors decided to literally cancel on me at the last moment. I got a text like five minutes after the hour saying….

“Hey Sergio, sorry for the bother and late contact, just finishing on set, I’m seeing that it would be best for everyone to recast my role. Apologizes but my time and scheduling seem to keep being a conflict”

Now keep in mind I paid to rent out the space. I paid him and the other actor (who did show up but I sent him home) in advance. I picked up some snacks and water. The DP I just hired was there too. So we’re all sitting around trying to decide what to do because we couldn’t really rehearse without a second actor. I can see from now on I need to have back-up actors onsite and maybe it might be a good idea to have folks sign contracts.  This is so weird to me because I have been having trouble casting this role of “Harthley” who is kind of a love interest for my character. In some cases the people flake at the last minute or they act as if they didn’t even know it was a gay or bi role. Sometimes I wonder if its just because I’m not really attractive to the person for whatever reason so they don’t wanna do the romantic scenes with me. Some probably don't wanna bother because they see I'm not some mega rich movie mogul (yet). People have told me to make sure and remember these flakes in case they ever resurface and when I tell my associates what happened they sometimes ask me the names of the individuals. (Its a small world out there so whos to say karma won't use someone you hurt to block your progress in the future?) Then theres a part of me that wonders if someone out there is deliberately trying to sabotage my productions. I know I have enemies out there so it could be possible. Who knows. It would be interesting to find out if other minority productions with lgbt content are facing the same types of troubles. Call me paranoid but I just keep feeling something is going on behind the scenes. This has just happened too many times to be a mere coincidence/circumstance. It would certainly explain why no one else is out there trying to do anything quite like what I’m doing.  Someone could be fucking things up to prevent them from progressing or attempting to steer them in a certain direction. I don’t like this idea of anyone trying to manipulate me or control my life. Its hard enough out here without people putting up walls you know? So anyway I recast the role but I’m feeling apprehensive. The guy certainly is a character with an interesting background (He used to work for the FBI and is ex military which means he probably has investigated the backgrounds of everyone in my family by now!) yet he comes across as VERY aggressive at times. As if he doesn’t trust me. My spidey sense is telling me to give him another role because he might be difficult to work with. Also “Harthley” is actually more of a laid back individual. Its strange to say this but I think I might seriously need to find someone to date then cast them as “Harthley” because that way it won’t be weird being in any intimate scenes together and plus the natural chemistry will be there. I have had success working with dudes on film projects when we had something going on offscreen. Montezilla. The Sneaky African. Kevin. Montezilla told me he was more into white guys and Latinos. Kevin later told me he regretted pushing me away but he was mostly keeping an eye on what else was out there. The Sneaky African moved away and his life just got too busy to seriously date anyone. We still talk and obviously care a lot for each other but the thing is that he lives way over yonder in North Dakota. If I could afford it I would fly there more often to see him. Moving there? Not quite sure but I am sooooooo ret to leave Cali. So ready.

Came in to work Monday after my “rehearsal” (which actually turned into a much needed meeting regarding production) and discovered someone had taken my I love NY Disney mug I bought at the Disney store in Times Square probably about 15 years ago. I was so pissed because I’d forgotten it and left it here at the security desk Saturday when I left to go home in the morning. Now this is not the first time I have had something taken and it just sickens me to think I work with people who will smile in my face then behind my back they’d take something they know is obviously mine or left for me with my name on it even. I went on Ebay to order another one because I was so pissed. I’m even more pissed at much it cost. It would be ironic if the mug I ordered was actually mine. The dealer only had one left and I was unable to find anymore online like it. Ugh. So pertaining to my upcoming production of “Sasquatch and the mythology sisterhood” we are gonna shoot a couple of cool scenes on Saturday. Theres some special effects work that’s gonna be trick so that’s largely why I decided to spend the day focusing on those shots entirely. Dude named Scott is in his apartment working out then he showers and gets dressed partially using his psionic abilities. I had to order a special greenscreen type suit because that will give us a lot more freedom in the scene plus it won’t look like cheap ass. I will wear the suit and then have to put dudes clothes on (that might be kinda hot!) then the DP will digitally remove me and it’ll look like the clothes are floating over and putting themselves on dude via telekinesis. I am thinking of adding something else to the scene but its gonna be pushing it (probably). I wanted to shoot a fight in the place between dude and his brother as they go at it with their paranormal abilities but Damonzilla said he didn’t want a fight scene shot in his place so maybe I can tone it down into more of an argument. But its gotta be something that won’t be boring. I have an actor for the role so I will talk to him tomorrow after I let the DP and Damonzilla know (he’s helping with directing duties). There are also a couple more actors interested in the Harthley roles who I may use in some other capacity unless I decide to switch around Mr. Aggro. Yes he is VERY serious and matter of fact. He actually reminds me of a guy I used to have a crush on who rooms with a good friend of mine.

And now the news…. Well another bombing type situation happened the other day in Sri Lanka. This was supposedly in retaliation to Australia bombings on a muslim church. So basically we have radical folks who felt the only way to get justice was to kill a bunch of other people. Innocent people of course. All in the name of religion. Then the other day a guy threw a kid off a balcony in the mall of America. Just walked over and grabbed the kid and threw him. All because he “wanted to kill somebody” Just when I thought the world couldn’t get any crazier. Things with Jusssie Smollet have kinda quieted down but it seems the city of Chicago wants to sue him over all the money that was spent on court costs and investigations. Meanwhile it appears there may be a move to impeach Tramp….er Trump. Not sure how that’s gonna play out. He’s basically gotten away with everything he’s said or done so far and it seems the public just doesn’t care to get rid of him because if they did he’d be out of there already. I didn’t think he would win the presidency but he did which only reaffirms how insane the world we live in has gotten. They wanna change the census now to ask how long have you been in this country. Theres so much focus on immigration and I’m not saying it isn’t a problem but there are so many other things we need to be concentrating on. This crazy weather is one of them. One minute its cold then the next its 80 degrees outside and I’m being tortured by allergies I never had before. Coachella happened and I didn’t go. Kanye West did some weird church shit that had a lot of folks scratching their collective heads. So that happened. Kanye West is so damn sexy but he just keeps doing and saying strange stuff and I’m really starting to worry just what is going on with him. Really. I think that’s about all I wanna talk about for now. I gotta get back to figuring out how Saturdays film shoot is gonna unfold. It is exciting to be getting back into my connected universe. The plan is to shoot four episodes of this new webseries then transition into doing a full length film project to be completed by next year. The DP mentioned getting some new storyboards done so I need to see whats up with that sense I already spent moolah on story boards. Whatever.

I had to change camera men for the upcoming shoot date for "Sasquatch and the mythology sisterhood". Dude had an accident with his camera and other stuff kept popping up which made scheduling difficult. Add to that I was still not happy with the script. Only just the other day did I finally complete a draft I was satisfied with. But we lost actors. Good talent....because we had to keep changing dates. I hired a new guy just yesterday but I may need to get another director if I'm gonna keep the budget low. I have a cool lady who I wanna work with. Her name is Jessica and she's worked with me before. Thing is she's a bit on the high side and the reality is I probably can't afford her. Good news is that I finally seem to have found my leading man. Its weird because he seems to be having some apprehension about the part. I met with him this week to talk about the script and to let him know I am just as nervous as he is about doing any type of romantic stuff. In a perfect world I'd just use someone I'm dating which is what I have done before. Its just easier you know to do love scenes with someone you dig as opposed to some stranger. As it is my character may simply not have a love interest. Just because he's an lgbt character doesn't mean he needs a love interest. I can always write those types of situations featuring other characters. We know Goyangee is moMaybe westly gay anyway and don't need to see him knocking boots or playing the kissing game onscreen. I can save that for the books, animation or videogame projects etc. It is kinda gross to imagine kissing someone else and not knowing where their mouth has been. a lot of people are nasty not even gonna lie. Sometimes I think about getting someone else to play Goyangee. Maybe if I got some hot guy to play me it would be easier to cast a love interest for Goyangee?

I was really struggling with the script until the other day a LYFT driver gave me an idea. He said I should put in a currently hot topic like immigration. So I thought about an incident I witnessed many years ago in Hollywood where some people involved in a car accident fled the scene. I took that and turned it into a supernatural type event which was originally gonna be one of those heroes saving people scenes. I'm so glad that while I was trying to get the script down and looking for my actors I had the incentive to get some storyboards and comic art done. Something to raise morale and keep everyone involved in the project motivated. I put out a solid date for the shoot and I'm to meet with the DP this coming Sunday. Maybe we can go look at some locations. I'd like to film one scene by the train station near my apartment building. A couple of my SinsofLegend actors have been trying to get me to use their residences for scenes. Thing is they are kinda far truthfully so it might not work out.

Speaking of work I have been having some issues with a couple of the guys at the job. I can't wait till we move into the new building so I can get away from some of these two faced individuals. Folks like to say somethings wrong with me but seriously the more I observe some of these folks the more convinced I am that medical experts would be stumped if they could take a peek into their thought processes. Things folks like to keep secret because they know they'd be committed if people knew what goes through their minds. I try to stay focused on my art and keeping my bills paid yet these fools keep coming for me and it makes absolutely no sense. I had to report a guy yesterday because of his outrageous behavior towards me especially when other people are around. The LYFT driver who picked me up from work yesterday said some people just have demons in them or they are in fact demons. I'd be a fool if I sat around plotting to hurt someone and scheming for an opportunity to take my anger out on someone. Even doing stuff like that on impulse is something thats an alien concept for me yet it seems common for many people. It just feels....beneath me. Someone spit on my door recently. I've no idea who did it. Could be the people from Bangladesh on my floor. Then theres the people who live over me who stomp and drop heavy things all the time. People watch me. Copy me sometimes. Thats weird to me. I had to take a break from a dude who used to play games with me on Xbox live. He flat out admitted he would pick the powerful characters and kick my ass repeatedly with them just so he could hear me complain then he got pissed and said "I'm disconnecting my mic because I don't wanna hear it anymore!"  I still haven't decided if I should unfriend him because we will likely never play any games together again. I don't think I know anyone else with such a closed mind. Why do I need folks like that in my life? Then theres these guys from Africa who keep hitting me up on Facebook attempting to get money from me. I told them many black folks over here are one pay check away from the streets yet for some reason they don't seem to believe me. I think oneday I'd like to move to Africa because it certainly appears only African guys want me. Seriously. But I can't leave the country until I replace the passport that mother fucker stole from me last year in Detroit forever tainting the place that was my home away from home. I love black men but they seem to be the ones who cost me the most. (Sigh) Maybe it would make for some good stories if Goyangee's love life (or lack of it) became an element of the webseries. Why is it that the so called heroes seem to be the people who spend their existence dancing around love? Why is it so entertaining to watch heroes struggle with this? Do the gods find it entertaining watching so many of us struggle going after something that is probably never gonna happen? That is so damn twisted. Even Superman has a love life thats not so super.

Been doing quite a bit of dreaming lately. So much in fact I've not been able to keep up in my dream Journal. Recently had my first flying dream for a good while. Some people think dreams are how we work things out in our lives. Others think theres some supernatural forces trying to communicate with us. Stephen King said he gets some of his stories from dreams and I have thought about trying that. Maybe a couple of times I have used dream elements. Would be something if some of the solutions to script issues I've had were hidden away in dreams. My novel that I've been working on since last year involves a dragon who uses teddy bears to invade childrens dreams to suck their lifeforce out. Yes I'm serious. I have always planned to bring my connected webseries characters together into one big epic battle. Since I lost the rights to "Daughters" its been a struggle trying to figure out a way to substitute another fragment of the puzzle. "Sasquatch and the Mythology Sisterhood" was my answer and if I must say so its a much better idea than "Daughters" was. Certainly more interesting than what I saw at a recent screening but anyway.... I think the big baddie I've been searching for who will bring together all my webseries characters could (in some capacity at least) be the dream dragon creature. More than likely it'll be his BOSS....

So Monday came and went. Its technically still here for me I guess. Since you know I came in at 10pm to work and now still counts as Monday I think. Yesterday was cool. I got up and wasn't sneezing non stop for like the usual 30 minutes but I gotta try and go back to Kaiser because I'm almost out of the allergy meds they gave me. I did my laundry and shaved. Got harrassed again by my neighbors from Bangladesh. Its apparent to me that after almost 20 years of coming for me these people just have nothing else better to do than try and turn me into some sort of serial killer. I noticed someone had spit on my door. Something I haven't seen in some years. Then they raised the bar by watching me from their partly ajar door as I went out and came in from doing my laundry. And also while I watched tv they rapped on the wall as they often would do in the past to try and annoy me while I was having phone conversations. Donald Trump often has bad things to say about people who come here from other countries and cause problems well these people are the stereotype that he is talking about. I have been under near constant mental seige for years and even though I complained nothing happened and it only seemed to make them try and get to me even more. Sometimes I feel like they are punishing me for being black and gay and for actually surviving in this crazy world. I guess they want attention from me and I don't understand how you can put so much time into trying to hurt someone for almost 20 years. I try to ignore them because I know eventually karma will catch up with them. I can look at them and see they are not happy people. Things will get worse as long as they keep putting out evil. I'll hopefully be able to move and completely forget about them by this time next year. It'll be something to be able to come and go without being watched and feeling that negative energy everyday.

When I checked my mail I was in for a pleasant surprise. Detroit came through with a small yet much appreciated check to help compensate me for last years theft of my things on that fateful birthday trip. I put it to good use. Went down to Target and got me a VR for my PS4. I'd gone down to Gamestop Saturday to look at the VR but decided not to get it because I needed to do other more important things with my money. I figure sometimes its nice to treat oneself. In all honesty I think the next videogame purchase I'll make will be a next gen console sometime next year. I just have so many games to finish and it makes no sense to buy anymore at this point. Thankfully the VR came with a couple of games plus theres plenty of free VR games and demos on the Playstation store. Sony is really pushing this VR thing hard. They better make it backwards compatible for the next machine or I will look at them side eyed. Theres really no excuse for not doing BC on games now. Nintendo needs to work on that shit too.

Seems I'm gonna need to recast some of my actors for the new SOL project. Because of all the trouble I've had casting gay or Bi characters I'm leaning heavily to just not putting alot of thought into bringing in more lgbt folks. When it comes to casting I get more of the fem type or just guys who don't fit the look I'm going for. Also many of these guys are so fucking flakey. They say one thing and then do the opposite. You say you have no problem doing a gay or bi role then you do shadey shit like not return calls or texts. Just tell me you're not interested and save us both the time. STOP trying to sabotage my production. Like Tamar used to say "Get yo life" And speaking of film stuff somebody has been making some threats of lawsuits and kinda giving me grief about paying them even though I'm no longer involved in said project. I have actually been making payments for awhile because I'd agreed to before leaving the project. How can you continue to expect payment from someone who isn't involved in the production anymore? I thought I'd closed the door on that dark chapter of my life yet it still continues to come back and haunt me and stress me out.

Been meeting a bunch of guys on Facebook recently. Most of them are from Africa. I had to cut a few off because they asked for money. Why do people think people here in the US are loaded when so many of us are one pay check away from the street? Its so bad I don't even trust people once I see they are from Nigeria or Ghana. One would assume because these guys look a certain way (handsome as a mofo with muscles and masculinity for days plus a killer smile that melts ice caps) they are accustomed to people basically bowing down and catering to their every whim. When I don't behave that way they act oblivious even though I can smell the manipulative pheremones seeping thru my webcam. Then they do little things like let the camera kinda wander down to body parts during the conversation. One guy acted incredulous when  I told him I was weary of trusting fellaz from over yonder. But his wicked smile is still in my mind. He actually asked me for 500 dollars yesterday and I told him off. Someone I sorta grew up with asked me for money over the weekend and it kinda sent me reeling. How you gonna just up and ask me for anything when you haven't even bothered to be a part of my life and probably think my gayness or bisexuality is some form of demonic possession? Sometimes I get so sick of people and their shit. Just trying to survive in a crazy world where fanatics crash planes into buildings or walk into churches shooting just to make a point then you gotta put up with shenanigans from folks trying to manipulate you or defecate all over your proverbial microphone or stage that is your life. Thank the gods we have videogames,comics,movies,music and our hobbies our sports or other things to help us take a break from reality. My observation is some people don't have healthy outlets so what they do is let off that negative energy by infecting someone else with it. Maybe this is what true evil is then. A virus?

I'm on vacation and stuck in LA because I actually forgot this was rent week. Ugh. Anyway its all good. I have time to relax and clean up around here and figure out what I'm going to do with my life at this point. We were supposed to film on the 16th but my camera guy had an accident on set so his camera is broke. Thats likely gonna push things back. I wanted to get started with my writing partner on my novel but I had to push that back after looking at the state of my finances. Actually the more I think about it the less convinced I am that I need a writing partner. Its gonna cost me alot to pay which is money that can go towards my film production. Work on my comics is still ongoing. Just gotta get my work out there in front of someone who can help me do something with it. Been dealing with some sort of depression shit too. Some of it is over what happened with Daughters of Legend and although I'm getting back to myself I worry this shit is taking too long. Also there are times...moments really where it hurts so much being single. Theres this deep feeling something is wrong with me and only when I am successful in my career Sergio will have something of substance to offer anyone which is weird because there are people way more fucked up than I am with a whole lot less who are happy in relationships. Dealing with the regular stuff....life demons....life drama....its a bit much at times then you have to add to the mix crazy co-workers. Last week a lady from another department told me she left cake with another guard and that I was welcome to some as well. When I went over to ask the guard his response was a nasty evil "She didn't tell me I had to share with you" I just turned around and went back to my desk on the other side. This guy used to be pretty cool with me and I guess I basically ignored all the other people who warned me about him. Now I know. But it just hurt so much someone I work with would go so far to get in a jab at me. Its not the first time. I made a point to start documenting stuff so people wouldn't think I'm crazy. He picked the perfect job because he works at night and because he has social issues he can get away with behavior unacceptable in a day setting. Also he doesn't have to change because people likely won't investigate him and it really is my word against his as I can't prove anything. Someone told me karma will get this guy. That sounds good and all but anyway....I just gotta get out of this 9-5 biz and away from crazy petty people. How great it would be to sign my own checks and not to have to deal with idiots. I'd like to be surrounded by other artists and smart people I can learn from. Tired of being around people doing nothing and acting out against me because I actually have ambition.

Rant over. I guess.

"Sergzilla's Homecoming. Part 4"

Yesterday was....interesting. This artist I gave a partial payment to so he could start on some artwork apparently tried to scam me. We connected via facebook. I'd been waiting a few days to hear back from dude with at least a few sketches but he'd already either blocked me or deactivated his account. I couldn't even find our conversation. Its pretty insane that people out there like to prey on others like parasites instead of making an honest living. Its only $50 but still. I gotta wait around 10 days (customer service told me) until I can recieve a refund. Thankfully another artist is nearing completion of some artwork for me. Paypal isn't like banks because if it had been a bank transaction (as I learned from Sir Dan) I'd be shit out of luck. That fateful encounter from years ago cost me like a thousand bucks dude still has made no attempt to reimburse me for. I've been ripped off over the years quite a few times. Luckily technology is making it harder and harder for people to get away with this shit. People are slick and its amazing how far some will go just because they know they can get away with something. A certain co-worker who tried to get me in trouble recently comes to mind. But anyway....back to more pleasant things....like my trip and Disney adventure with Joshuazilla my crazy yet violently brilliant little brother.

There were plenty of people there in the park but it wasn't really crowded. It did get kinda crowded later. So we didn't have to wait in any long lines when it was time to get our grub on. I'm not gonna count the neat little gummy candy we got in the Japanese area.
I was shocked at how expensive everything was. But since I was on vacation I just didn't worry about it. We decided on an interesting looking establishment that featured a wide assortment of dishes. Come to think of it I'm not even sure exactly what area of the park it was located. I got this really delicious fish thingie and Joshuazilla got some strange looking artery (probably) clogging dish. 

My fish was incredibly delicious but the portion was pretty damn small. It also cost $50.00. Not sure how much Joshuazilla's food was. I barely glanced at the bill. So you now know where my tax return disappeared to. Still its good to treat oneself once in awhile. We're not here just to pay bills after all. So I won't complain. After we ate Joshuazilla bought himself one of those flickering light saber things and was able to convince him to go with me to check out a concert. The concert turned out to be pretty impressive because this one dude could sing his ass off. The lady was good too but THIS guy....he was something else. In fact I need to go online see what else he's done. He did say he worked on some pretty big plays. He and the lady. I tried to take as many photos as possible along with videos. I will post some here if I can. Most of the concert photos came out wonky but the videos are great. My little cannon camera and ipod touch are awesome little machines.

Oh yeah I wanted to share this before I forget....!

Mommas banana pudding (Her best yet!)

I got mommy to make me a big banane pudding. Now that I think about it I should have brought some home with me on the plane but I wasn't sure it would be allowed since after those fucking terrorists in 911 security at airports has become a pain. Yeah I know its necessary but man is it irritating. I hate having to take my belt off and my shoes. I hate having to put my shit in those nasty ass trays too. I was sooooo happy coming back from Florida when they let us skip that hassle and instead let a security dog scrutinize us instead at the airport. Maybe it was because of the long line or perhaps they are trying something new at the airports. I love animals but I don't think I have ever been so happy to see a dog! I'm sure the other people in line with me felt the same way.

I love that you can drag and drop photos now just about anywhere! Imagine how easy this would have made all our lives if we had this technology waaaay back in the early 2000's. 

"Sergzilla's Homecoming. Part 3"

My mother and stepdad seemed so cutting edge when I was a youngin when it came to computers and tech. I guess it was all in my mind or perhaps they simply haven't really kept up with the times. I mean they both have and love their Apple products. They may well rival me in that regard. Yet they have this expensive ass cable that they pay $170.00 a month for. I tried to explain to them about all the free apps they could get and free content they could access. Keep in mind I sent my mother a video cam many moons ago and she never hooked it up because she lost it. I ended up on Valentines day just going out to Target and buying her a Roku. Its a newer model so I'm sure it has more features then mine. With the Roku they can access hundreds if not thousands of apps. Many that allow you to watch free movies and tv shows. The news apps you can also access for free. It only cost 24 bucks. I left a Vudu streaming stick for Joshuazilla in his old room but he's already lost the freaking remote which means he can't do diddly with the stick. Meanwhile I'm on the fence about buying Miss Big Nose a firestick because she also has apparently lost her technology super powers.

Once I had my mind set on going to Disneyworld it was a done deal even when I considered the possibility of doing something else. It just felt right you know? I didn't expect it to be so damn expensive though. Anything even remotely Disney related is costly but man....! The food is pretty high too but I'll get to that. Eddie (my step dad and Joshuas father) dropped us off around mid day and we took a short walk to the entrance where I purchased our entry tickets. Gotta make a mental note that next time I go back its cheaper to just buy a pass for a few days instead of just for one day. Thinking about going back and surprising Joshuazilla for his birthday so I better start saving up moolah.

There were a bunch of areas themed after countries. Japan. China. Mexico. Norway. France. I had no idea the place was so big (40 acres!) and only now am I realizing we missed out on some cool attractions. The first attraction we headed to had a looooong line so we decided to go somewhere else but that ride had a long wait too. But since we were already there I just figured we'd wait it out. It was basically a race car simulation. There was this multimedia interface that allows you to design your own car. Joshuazilla seemed to have more fun with this. I'm not really a car person although I do enjoy the occasional Mario Kart race and the legendary Gran Turismo will always have a special place in my heart (license tests aside of course)  When you're done making your dream racer you get in this roller coaster type car which races you (often at breakneck speed) thru a series of on rails scenarios. First you enter a cool kinda psychedelic tunnel. Its mostly dark but theres neon lights going on and they try to scare you by almost running into some oncoming vehicles. Its all pretty tame until the end where you are thrown onto this racetrack looking scenario where they really pour on the speed. I was filming the entire time holding my camera with one hand much of the time. Its a true miracle I didn't drop it.

We went over to a Mexican themed place with some Aztec pyramids. Always have loved pyramids. Then we went on a kinda lame boat ride thing. I say it was lame mostly because of how slow it was. There was a Frozen attraction that featured a boat ride which was much more entertaining. That I filmed almost in its entirety. I think because he's had to binge watch Disney films with his daughter Joshuazilla has become a Disney cartoon aficionado. I still can't believe he'd never seen or heard of Big Hero Six until I put it on for him at the house. Big Hero Six is loosely based on the Marvel comic about a group of Japanese superheroes. A few of whom were (in the comics) mutants. But when the move came out Marvel/Disney couldn't make movies about mutant anythings because they didn't own the movie rights for X-men stuff. (Now they do) There was a cool video exhibit about China that we checked out as well as one for Japan. You just stand in this huge room and its like a gigantic 360 degree screen shows a video about the history and culture. The whole time we kept talking about the fireworks that were gonna happen later. Joshuazilla really didn't seem interested because mainly I didn't think he wanted to be out there at 9pm. Honestly time flew by incredibly fast and before we knew it we were sitting down eating and it was dark outside.

Sergzilla's Homecoming Part 2.

Jussie Smollett is in the news these days. Seems theres a strong possibility he lied on a police report saying he was the victim of a hate crime. It certainly polarized the gay community for a hot minute. Then we all got to thinking....wait a minute. If he did in fact get beat up then wheres the video evidence? Turns out there is none. Meanwhile Donald Tramp er Trump is still trying to get his wall built. He's even gone so far as to declare a national emergency to dip into funds that are needed for other things. Like a real emergency. Stuff like military construction. Money for medical treatment programs etc. A young woman who wanted to join Isis is being deported and a white ex marine who believes in white power was taken into custody whilst the law enforcement confiscated a bunch of weapons he planned to use to kill liberals and "as many innocent people as he could". This world is so crazy sometimes and I keep asking where these people keep coming from. Seems just when things appear to be quieting down another psycho rears his or her head. My theory is something is affecting these people and making them do these things. In some cases. Maybe its supernatural or theres some science involved. That makes alot of sense actually. So much time has passed so mental manipulation by technology would be pretty advanced by now.  It does worry me that some of my younger family members are gonna inherit some of this craziness. It'll probably be normal to them at some point. Mass shootings and terrorist attacks. We've always had issues within society but when I was a teenager I certainly did not have to worry about going to a damn mall and some fool with an agenda might come out and start acting the fool. Of course Orlando has seen its share of insanity. The whole Pulse club shooting comes to mind. The thought of visiting that place did pass thru my mind truthfully. What would it feel like to go to that place where so many terrible things happened? Or even the World Trade Center a place which I have visited so many times in the past. I believe I'd feel something. Spiritual energy swirling all around. Anger. Confusion. Just terror of what they went thru and then finally what was taken from them by this coward. A little boy with a big gun punishing a bunch of complete strangers who had their own problems and its likely if he'd asked for help a fair number of those (whose lives he took) woulda given him a listen. Yes I still believe in the good or potential for it people. Even though my brothers niece "J" worked my nerves while I was there on vacation I can see she has a pretty sharp mind. I wonder if anyone else has noticed it yet? When you observe kids doing crazy things its easy to forget how bad some of us were when we were youngins. I heard a couple of stries of my legendary childhood. The toddler years. Once I heard I threw a tv out a window. Mommy told me a funny story about how my grandma Cora had to put wooden borders in front of the open doorways in the house so I couldn't enter. Poor Grandma would always forget about about the wood boards and she'd have all these bruises on her legs from bumping into them when Mommy would come to visit from NY!

At one point during my vacation trip home I was sitting down and she (my niece) creeped over to the back of my laptop while I was surfing the web and went about trying to peel off some of my stickers and I told her to stop it. She quickly moved away from me. Then there was a time when my other niece "K" was playing Mario Kart on my Switch while I tried to teach her how to use the weapons and the freakin accelerator. J came over and was like "I wanna play the videogame" in this quiet kinda shy voice. Now she acts shy whenever I offered her candy or when Mommy asked her if she wanted to hang out with me but this kid has a pretty clear idea of what she wants and how to manipulate people to get it. I told her I would take it under consideration. She promptly went to her dad and said "He won't let me play the videogame" Joshua told her "Its his. He doesn't have to" I guess I kinda felt sorry for her and I let her play but maybe I shouldn't have? You can't just think its okay that when people tell you "NO" you can run to daddy to fix everything. "K" is a terrible player but at least she does actually look at the screen. To "J" I think it was simply a matter of her getting what she wanted but not really caring after she got it. Its gonna be interesting to see what kind of personality "J" has when she gets older.

As for "J's" father Joshuazilla he's still got some growing up to do even despite the fact he is tremendously intelligent. Months ago he got into it with Mommy and Eddie my stepdad and they basically put  Joshuazilla out. I remember getting into it with my father once. It was over some stupid little shit. Probably built up shit in all actuality. I was washing clothes and he hit my hand because I didn't do something he'd asked and that night I moved out to go stay with my grandma Cora (my moms mom). Its unfortunate but even in the wild the parent animal often has to chase their offspring out and then they get a chance to go experience the world. In time me and my father were cool again and that was the last time we ever argued over anything. But Joshuazilla and my mom were still butting heads while I was there. I stayed out of it. I'm not a "hoverer" and its not my business to interfere since I am a stranger to the feud. Mommy explained to me some of the things that have gone down and me and my sisters constantly remind her she and Eddie would have killed us if we did even half of what they let "other people" get away with but anyway....I did speak to Joshuazilla. Just told him no matter what these are your parents and you gotta give them the respect because without them none of us would be here. So there's that to consider. I'd like to think he listened to me. It hurts because if I'd been there more in his life when he was coming up maybe I could have helped provide some more guidance. Eddie and Mommy are getting older now and this is the time they should be relaxing and enjoying what they have you know? They shouldn't be stressed out. Mommy made a remark about me giving her grandkids but geez would her and Eddie survive another one? I'm not gonna harp on this anymore but "J" is a handful and she single handedly disrupted the breakfast the family took me out to Saturday. I warned Joshuazilla he's gotta get her under control because I know a few people who couldn't get their kids under control and they had to send them away. Both "J's" parents are so young and yeah its safe to say they were not ready. I just don't want to see them make the same mistake many parents are making these days by being more of a friend than a parent. And thats all I gotta say about that.

My stepsister "Miss Big Nose" and younger sister "TT" have their own family units going on. Miss Big nose has four kids. Three girls and one son. He is a super nerd like me. He took after his father who I met briefly many moons ago. Unfortunately he passed away but dude was super cool and I can remember us hooking his Playstation up to my Grandmothers tv when we all went down to NC to visit her. She passed like six years ago. Its still so weird her not being here you know? Miss Big Nose has a red Wii on her living room floor. She had no idea Nintendo cut all the internet services from that machine just recently. She is from Trinidad and she has naturally red hair that everyone thought she died when we were in high school. She was a tom boy. Not so much into comics but she was good at videogames and an excellent basketball player. In fact she played in a lot of games and in many ways I always felt she was like the son Eddie never had in me. Because I wasn't into sports at all and sucked at math. I was a big weird nerd. I was always getting into trouble too because I hated school so I'd cut classes and hang out with my friends at arcades or wait till everyone was at work and sneak everyone over to my place. They ended up sending me to a school for troubled kids. Plus I had to attend summer school. Going to school for me back then was a nightmare. I'd get picked on. Slapped around and spat on. Those New York kids were no joke. In many ways I'm probably mentally traumatized by many of the things that happened to me in those years. Miss Big Nose actually was able to protect me from some of it because she was popular. My sis the jock. Excuse me "Jocktress". I remember we used to sit up late listening to people like Luther Vandross, Heatwave,Mickey Howard, Teena Marie and Patti Labelle on the quiet storm. WBLS. KISS FM. I would get on everyones nerves by constantly playing "Let me show you the way to go" by the Jacksons. I practically worshipped El Debarge and his family. I'll never forget the summer of "84" when "Whats love got to do with it was in constant rotation on the airwaves. Ahhhh. Those were the good old days.