(To Chilled Hip-Hop And Neo-Soul Mix #10 on Youtube)
Mr. No Drive:
Where is the desire
for me?
Where is the desire for anyone?
He has no desire in him.
No Drive.
Needs those boosts
to get the drive
Needs those testosterone injections
otherwise he ain't missing nobody.
Ain't thinkin or carin about nobody.
I couldn't help but wonder
how did this happen
or was it always like this?
Never got answers
because he didn't hang around long enough...
Formerly Mr. Now Presently Miss:
I cried
like I'd never cried before
when I found out what he did.
Went under the knife
wasn't happy with how he looked
wasn't happy being the beautiful man
that he was.
Went to the doctors
got it all chopped off
got him some breastesses
got himself pumped full of them hormones
estrogen overruling ALL the masculinity
all the hard feeling musculature
the sweet aromas of manhood
that silky deep voice
all stripped away
to be discarded
flushed down some toilet
or dumped out back
in some black biohazard-labeled bags.
He's got the higher voice now
fuller lips
longer hair
and long funky curvy nails with diamonds in them
while somewhere in heaven
angels are crying
God is crying
all along with me
at the lost manchild
who would punish us
for remembering/mourning who he was
by running away from us.
Its like he died twice.
I can't even look at the photos in my ipad
Its too painful
Seems so surreal
that we all have to accept
That beautiful man
is gone.
Someone Inside:
He came from the dark
climbed from the pit like Bruce Wayne
fought through the crowds of mutated people
swung over some monsters too
and then he retreated to his cave.
He stayed in that cave
hair growing long
clutter and dishes piling up
all the while he was planning to go back out
he was dreading going back out
dreading thoughts of rejections
dreading a painful past
tormented by nightmares of being in school
tormented by nightmares of bullies.
His mind is traumatized so much he wonders
If or when
he can ever recover enough
to go back out in the light
to face the troublesome world again.
Hugs and kind words seem so far away now
replaced by so many violent memories
from this life and so many others
He wonders just what he's become
holding on the someone still inside
that little sliver of humanity
Not quite a soul
Something like soul
A kitten in the jungle.
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