-Lunch with a friend continued-
So El and I talked and caught up on life. Things. The state of the world. Its really been along time since we hung out and this is something I need to do more often. El is getting on up in the years like my folks so you know they say give your loved ones their flowers now... Anyway I've known El almost as long as I have lived in my apartment. At least 26+ years. Maybe 27. We actually met off a dateline way back in the 90's when such things existed. Maybe they still do? He's an older white guy and although I wasn't attracted to him we share a very cool bond. We both love John Williams and Danny Elfman. We both are artists. His thing is photography. You know mine is writing and film. I draw too but not that much anymore. Trying to get back into it which is why just recently I purchased some drawing pencils and a really nice sketchbook. Anyway El is also a Republican which is very interesting. I mean we don't really talk much about politics but then again we don't really sit down and talk about how awesome Godzilla and Boba fruit tea are either. Like they say time and place right? When I first met El he had a roomie who was actually many gay mens fantasy. Just cool and handsome but he was a straight guy who stayed to himself and rarely came out of his room. Then El got a really cool dude as a roomie. Also another incredibly hot brother but not straight. Very private though and well while I initially liked hm alot (especially since he was a gamer) things changed one day when some money went missing and I was actually asked to turn out my pockets. They later found the money as he'd hidden it in the bathroom and it had slipped down in a crack between the wall or something. Anyway dude never apologized to me and truthfully I always felt weird about going over to visit El after that incident. Yeah I know people do seem to observe me and think the worst and I know thats not really my business but that really hit me close to home because it made what I considered a safe space feel even less so. I have stolen things as a kid. I was probably about 22 when last I stole anything. I lost a job behind it but I have never looked back or had any inclination to go back down that path. This is something I don't think I have ever told anyone until now. We all make mistakes.
I remember once when I went to this party back in the mid 90's. This was before I got my own apartment. That happened in 97. Anyway...I was friends with the publisher of a well known black gay magazine and he would have these sex parties...so I went to a few. The last one I ever went to someone stole some money and even though we turned that hotel room upside down we didn't find the money. No one said anything but I got the impression folks thought since I was living in a shelter at the time I'd taken the money. Me and dude who threw the parties was never really the same with me either so that really hurt. It stings to think someone I consider a close friend would think something like that about me and theres really nothing I can do to prove my innocence. Sometimes like they say in Frozen you gotta just let some things go because well dwelling on something you can't change makes no sense ultimately.
Speaking of things I should let go of... That person I used to really be in serious like with at my job got assaulted by a client. I have been tempted to call to check on him as I heard it was pretty bad but I'm not even sure if I still have his number. I spent a whole year getting him out of my system so it feels like taking steps backwards opening a door that was closed since it caused me so much pain you know? This is another one of those weird situations that life throws at you and you have to make a decision you'd rather not. I figured with all the changes going on here at the center he'd either left or perhaps gotten a different schedule which would insure we'd never run into each other again but I saw his name was till in the system when I checked the other day. I am by the way still trying to get adjusted to all the new changes including my new schedule and man...
-To Be Continued-
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