Confessions of a sad superhero book 168

 -Lunch With A Friend Continued- 

Yesterday was the last of the crazy hot days and I am soooo glad. We are talking about 104-105 degrees in Los Angeles. I don't have an A/C. All I have is a swamp cooler and its pretty effective because thankfully my place is so small. A swamp cooler is a small device that functions as a fan but you put cold water with ice in it so it acts like an A/C but the downside is they can make your place really humid. You might feel sticky and like you need to take a shower if you don't have ample ventilation. In other words keep those windows open or you might feel like your in a sauna. These things are pretty cheap but not quite as effective as an actual A/C. I'll probably end up buying one next year right before the weather heats up. 

James Earl Jones passed yesterday. He was 93 and more known in mainstream for doing the voices of The Lion King and Darth Vader. Now I had the biggest crush on James after seeing him in this movie called "Claudine" James had that voice. That beautiful bronze skin and those hazel eyes. Lawd. Anyway he is one of the all time greats and after a job well done may he rest in peaceful power as his legacy inspires future generations. 

Last night at work someone walked in the front door. This type of shit achieved legendary status when someone came in last year and stole my Steam Deck and laptop from the second floor. Some have theorized this was an inside job seeing as how the person had perfect timing while I was on patrol and nothing else was taken. Also he seemed to know exactly where to go. Anyway last night as I was exiting the building to do a rotation I had this weird sensation the door might not have closed completely behind me so I asked the guard I relieved to check on it for me. This particular door is a ticking time bomb because it has been an issue for months now and it hasn't been fixed. The door doesn't close properly when people use it and many don't check behind them to make sure it latches so apparently after maintenance used the door a transient simply walked over to pull it open to enter sometime after. I have no idea why in the world anyone in their right mind would just walk over and enter private property but I did say in their right mind right? I watched a video on youtube of a guy who broke into the house of a family because he was hopped up on drugs and dude just shot the husband who was watching tv with his wife in the head. Months ago some guy entered a home and started beating up on some young brothers until the father stepped in and beat the hell out of the stranger until police arrived. This world has really become a strange place where someone can just walk into someones home and attack them for absolutely no reason. Its carzy because the person goes to jail or maybe an institution meanwhile a family is left to grieve and this hardly seems like justice to me. So last night as a female guard sat enjoying her lunch in the lunch room she heard a voice behind her that scared her say "You know how beautiful you are?" It took some intense yelling obn her part to get the guy to leave then she notified the supervisor via radio. Now my laptop and Switch and ROG Ally game systems were just a room away down the hall and in plain view plus I had music playing on my laptop which was on the table. I usually keep music playing so the laptop won't go to sleep doing my uploads of videogameplay to Youtube. I thank the powers that made me my stuff wasn't taken again but its a real problem that folks can just walk up in here and management won't do anything about it. Also the water was off earlier and the A/C is broke next door at one of the posts. There is also a constant leak in the parking levels which has persisted for many months now after we had some heavy rains. It blows my mind this place has so many issues and is hurting for money right now and all the new procedures are really making me feel some kind of way about continuing to work here. I know this is something I have said before but the writing is on the wall that its time for me to leave. A supervisor said I have one more year left in me but I'm not sure anymore... 

So back to El my friend I had second breakfast with. El really has been like a second (or third) father to me over the years. Now this is an older white guy who is a Republican yet he has been an ally to the black community for the longest. I think due to his upbringing he sees the good in people and in true saintly manner he will go out of his way to help good people who need it. He has consistently bailed me out of financial ruin over the years and been a guiding light in some dark times. He's also a Leo like me. Not sure if that means anything. He's helped with the fostering of several kids also. Well actually maybe more than several. In most cases these were all success stories but a few of the kids I think ended up getting lost in the system. This was all their doing (except for maybe a couple exceptions) and some are behind bars. To my knowledge they all were black except one. Still El has been a trusted father figure to many over the years. He is one reason why I still believe there are; despite all the darkness, good people in this world. Truly good people. Not perfect mind you but just GOOD. El told me of some recent health scares that really got me worried. I realize as he's getting on up in the years like my parents...well I need to make sure I do better with keeping in touch you know? Because when they are gone...they are gone. (Most of the time)

Confessions of a sad superhero book 167

 -Lunch with a friend continued- 

So El and I talked and caught up on life. Things. The state of the world. Its really been along time since we hung out and this is something I need to do more often. El is getting on up in the years like my folks so you know they say give your loved ones their flowers now... Anyway I've known El almost as long as I have lived in my apartment. At least 26+ years. Maybe 27. We actually met off a dateline way back in the 90's when such things existed. Maybe they still do? He's an older white guy and although I wasn't attracted to him we share a very cool bond. We both love John Williams and Danny Elfman. We both are artists. His thing is photography. You know mine is writing and film. I draw too but not that much anymore. Trying to get back into it which is why just recently I purchased some drawing pencils and a really nice sketchbook. Anyway El is also a Republican which is very interesting. I mean we don't really talk much about politics but then again we don't really sit down and talk about how awesome Godzilla and Boba fruit tea are either. Like they say time and place right? When I first met El he had a roomie who was actually many gay mens fantasy. Just cool and handsome but he was a straight guy who stayed to himself and rarely came out of his room. Then El got a really cool dude as a roomie. Also another incredibly hot brother but not straight. Very private though and well while I initially liked hm alot (especially since he was a gamer) things changed one day when some money went missing and I was actually asked to turn out my pockets. They later found the money as he'd hidden it in the bathroom and it had slipped down in a crack between the wall or something. Anyway dude never apologized to me and truthfully I always felt weird about going over to visit El after that incident. Yeah I know people do seem to observe me and think the worst and I know thats not really my business but that really hit me close to home because it made what I considered a safe space feel even less so. I have stolen things as a kid. I was probably about 22 when last I stole anything. I lost a job behind it but I have never looked back or had any inclination to go back down that path. This is something I don't think I have ever told anyone until now. We all make mistakes. 

I remember once when I went to this party back in the mid 90's. This was before I got my own apartment. That happened in 97. Anyway...I was friends with the publisher of a well known black gay magazine and he would have these sex parties...so I went to a few. The last one I ever went to someone stole some money and even though we turned that hotel room upside down we didn't find the money. No one said anything but I got the impression folks thought since I was living in a shelter at the time I'd taken the money. Me and dude who threw the parties was never really the same with me either so that really hurt. It stings to think someone I consider a close friend would think something like that about me and theres really nothing I can do to prove my innocence. Sometimes like they say in Frozen you gotta just let some things go because well dwelling on something you can't change makes no sense ultimately. 

Speaking of things I should let go of... That person I used to really be in serious like with at my job got assaulted by a client. I have been tempted to call to check on him as I heard it was pretty bad but I'm not even sure if I still have his number. I spent a whole year getting him out of my system so it feels like taking steps backwards opening a door that was closed since it caused me so much pain you know? This is another one of those weird situations that life throws at you and you have to make a decision you'd rather not. I figured with all the changes going on here at the center he'd either left or perhaps gotten a different schedule which would insure we'd never run into each other again but I saw his name was till in the system when I checked the other day. I am by the way still trying to get adjusted to all the new changes including my new schedule and man...

-To Be Continued-

Confessions of a sad superhero book 166

I had a late lunch with an old friend yesterday. Lets call him El. Anyway we met up at Cheesecake factory in The Grove. I got there earlier than him so I had to wait at the bar for him to arrive. I'd say about 15 minutes. The place was pretty full as usual and as someone with social anxiety this was quite a challenge for me but I think I handled it pretty well. Maybe I'm getting better at this sort of thing. I dunno. I'd brought my little sling bag with a portable game system and a tiny Amazon Kindle but I didn't end up using these things which usually help me to deal in crowded situations. Also music helps of course but now that we live in an age where one has to worry about shit being snatched or some fool tailing you to try and take what you own I have gotten pretty careful about using electronic stuff in public. They do warn you on buses and trians to put away electronics; even phones because...well Captain Liberia told me he once witnessed someone get their phone snatched on the bus. Its always great to see El though. I have known dude for almost 30 years. Its amazing how fast time can fly. He's been like a father to me in so many ways. I actually consider him a surrogate dad. 

-To Be Continued- 

(Something interesting)

-From this article-

Rebel Ridge Review: A Smart and Tense Rambo for 2024 (ign.com)

4 September, 2024

Weird how the only people in here getting upset and defensive with this review and plot are right wingers. I don't see Democratic outrage in these comments. If you're so upset with a review of a movie with some political commentary that you feel so compelled to go to a comments section and rage about it, maybe ask yourself why this triggers you so much.

I'm a Republican, but I'm able to acknowledge the amount of power concentrated in pockets of our police force. It's also just fundamentally disingenuous to suggest that systems of oppression don't exist. We've seen it. Don't tell us what we have and have not seen or experienced. Just because you're ashamed of your bigoted beliefs doesn't mean you can say that these things don't exist.

Grow up.

• 2 days ago

  You make an awful lot of sense for a Republican.

  • 2 days ago

    Us RINOs are around, but don't really like to stir the pot.

    • 2 days ago

      Well, I appreciate your comment because it does remind me that we're all humans and I shouldn't automatically dismiss something someone says just because of their (ill picked) political party.

    • I just thought it was interesting to see people with possibly different political views having a civil conversation. Something I don't see too often.