I just got chewed out by one of my supervisors because apparently I offended one of my co-workers. She's a relatively new guard and I swear since day one she has had this weird animosity towards me as if she were somehow compromised because of something someone said either that or I just happen to remind her of someone who burned down her village or something. In some ways she reminds me of the mother of one of my sisters. Someone who never liked me from the get go or my mother for that matter but anyway... Things have been kinda weird with me and another co-worker who has been micro-managing me for coming back from my breaks sometimes a few minutes late but this person does things that I don't complain about because I just have too many other things on my mind to care. All I will say is he is VERY lucky there aren't video cameras on every floor. But anyway I suspect he may have said something to this other guard because this morning she gave me this look when I came to the desk to turn in my keys and walkie so I joked that she had a look of terror on her face. Like maybe she saw someone in the courtyard. She goes "Why would you say something like that?"and I told her I was just joking. I tried to lighten the mood by asking her if she heard anything about the missing key and she was like I guess you are talking to (the other guard who was there who she'd been speaking with until I came to the desk who is the same guard who I am not really speaking with these days) because I have a look of terror on my face. I just walked away awkwardly and came back upstairs to play some games on my computer. Moments later my supervisor came up to talk to me and I knew something was up. She told me when I see people just say good morning or good night and keep it moving. This was the same pep talk I'd given myself on the elevator ride upstairs moments earlier. I observe people and their behavior and the more I do the more I realize in alot of ways I may be more mentally well rounded than I give myself credit for. We all have our buttons and sure sometimes there are bad days and things might be said we regret and I also understand even though I do not do this folks vent by taking their stress out on others especially when you might appear to be happy (even if in reality you are walking on a thin line and barely keeping it together cuz you dealing with your own life drama) I observe people watching me. I observe people pointing out my flaws and picking at me to draw out negative reactions. I observe people imitating my actions and even at times competing with me for attention from others. I'm not perfect but damn is it irritating knowing in so many ways you are more mature than many who come in your presence. I thank the gods I have outlets and hobbies along with goals to work towards because I probably would have jumped off a building or something many moons ago having to navigate through this world while dealing with so much BS from people. Not all people. Just SOME who seem to exist only to work my nerves.
(Update: I just found out I am not the only person having trouble with that other guard. So I can rest easy knowing it isn't just me)
So on Monday I'm supposed to be filming a new episode of Nerds With Badges. Its been awhile and I gotta say I am a bit on the fence because its gonna cost me $400 to have someone film and edit it. Also I'm paying my guest who is a co-worker. I don't wanna keep pushing the filming date back either because I have already done that once. Also I just paid $350 to get copies of my DragonManx comic printed. Then I had to pay the animator of my Sasquatch cartoon $200 and also a couple of artists working on designs for two new characters. These are African characters who I will create a manga around! Rent is due in like a week and I just had money come out my account for my dental insurance. There's also the fact I HAVE to get storage sooner than later. All this to say as the saying goes..its always something. I had to get bailed out last month by a good friend but I am gonna have to make some serious cutbacks so finances won't be stressing me out as much as they do...
No comments:
Post a Comment