So yesterday I learned a lesson in patience at work from a lady who works in another department. Lets just call her "M". I have a particular co-worker who has been working my nerves these past few months. Sometimes he seems cool but mostly I am convinced he is insane or possibly being influenced perhaps by demonic entities. Alot of the time I will just be sitting at the desk chilling enjoying life and here he comes usually saying or doing something that rattles my nerves. Dude will see me and then his eyes will fix on me taking on every little detail and I swear other people have noticed he will notice and point out things. He watches me like a hawk often and sometimes he will copy things that I do. Also he's extremely nosey to the point he will try to look at what I am doing if I am doing something on the computer. I have also observed him listening in on my phone conversations. Now I do not hate dude because sometimes he's cool and like another annoying co-worker I ended up blocking on social media we can have wonderful conversations but then there are times he does things that make me question if he had any home training. Like last night I had some snacks sitting up on the desk and he just walks over like he always does and goes "Oh for me" or he'll say something like "Why did you steal my (whatever I am eating) He saw a vendor give me a danish one night and then he started asking for danishes I kid you not. Now the vendor doesn't give me danishes like he used to. So anyway last night I basically went off on him because the way I was raised you don't just walk over and start putting your hands on other folks stuff especially since I don't know where your hands have been. So he acted all offended and later when I asked "M" for advice after telling her what happened she gave me some good yet amusing advice. She told me that I need to use my "white voice" in certain situations especially considering where I am. She said as a black woman she often has to be careful when situations arise becuae even though she might be in the right because she is a black woman she in certain environments has to conduct herself a certain way. She also pointed out you can have boundaries but its all about the delivery and the energy you bring. I just thought it was really cool how she was able to give me some wisdom and later I did apologize to dude and better articulate I just do not like folks putting they hands on my shit unless I give the okay. No I did not say it that way.
I am on vacation the next few days and let me tell you I need it. My spirit needs it. Been really thinking alot about looking for another job. Been seeing how crazy the world is getting with all the escalating crime and shootings too. There was another shooting just the other day after a ball game. 21 people shot and 11 kids. One woman died and good samaritans managed to tackle one of the shooters. I swear sometimes the world seems so insane that I don't even wanna leave my house. Then on top of that you're still expected to deal with your own trauma while going back and forth to work. I think now I kinda understand why so many folks abandon their dreams because we get caught up simply maintaning survival. Valentines Day came and went by without so much as a phone call from Captain Liberia which is another reminder this man I constantly think about cares very little for me. Yeah I guess I could have called him but he's married to a woman and likely has other people on the side. Yes I'm idealistic but not stupid. Theres a cute African guy in Nigeria who claims he wants something with me but even if he sounds convincing at times its hard for me to trust him because of bad experiences with folks overseas trying to scam my mind. Also yeah he's like a million miles away. I'm sitting here listening to state of jazz on spotify and trying not to beat myself up over how much better I wish my life could be and how I need to fix certain things. This is usually all it takes for me to break out of the whole woe is me and wishing I had someone. Well that and memories of how badly things turned out when I chased that dream. But I have learned that some of these guys will actually hate you for daring to chase them. The film is coming along. Post-production of course. I just got the cover done for an upcoming SonsofLegend comic and the cartoon is still being worked on. My podcast will return later this month plus I'll soon have physical copies of DragonManx #1 to sell. Still doing my mostly daily uploads of my videogameplay on Youtube and just his week I created a brand new character, A female character of African descent who has to use supernatural powers to battle her evil twin brother. So I guess it coud be said I am not without a lover. Seems I have many lovers in my life who can supply me what I need. It feels funny to say that or even ironic I can find so much happiness in art, creating or even in fantasy realms. Maybe the right man for me then is the one I can draw and write about. More irony? Anyway its time for some gaming or bingeing. I need to call my family to check up on them this week instead of constantly putting it off. I need to also decide if I'm going to visit an amusement park this week or weekend because God knows I need to pinch my pennies. I did mention I was thinking of quitting the LGBT center right? Yeah it is definitely getting close to that time.
No comments:
Post a Comment