Confessions of a sad superhero book 28

 

(Exhibit A)

Hello everyone. I just had a nasty run in with S/O XXXXX and wanted to make a record of it while I was clear in my mind. I came in around 9:00pm and I asked S/O XXXXX if there were any pass downs or call offs and XXXXX said no then I went upstairs. I started my patrol and when I came down to check after Admin didn’t reply to my radio check XXXXX said “What the fuck?!?!” and basically went off on me while I was trying to explain to her I didn’t know that her relief wasn’t here and that I wasn’t starting at the desk tonight which was why I didn't come down before. She was very angry and asked me why I wasn’t HERE and just her manner was completely unprofessional as well as disrespectful then she basically stormed out.

(That was how my work night started)

I'm convinced some of these people that work here are out of their damn minds. 

I promised myself if anything else happened that pissed me off I was going to give my notice but instead I called my supervisor. Not just to tell him what happened but also to let him know the other guard (also the same person I had the epic falling out with who is now dealing with health issues) who was to relieve XXXXX hadn't showed up. Dude told me to send an email to our boss so I was just about to send the message above when XXXXX called to apologize. I asked some people for advice and it seems sending the email was not the wrong thing to do but since XXXXX did apologize (which is something I can count on one hand the times that has happened to me) I decided to not go through with sending the email. Somebody told me XXXXX must have somehow felt what was about to happen when she called! Maybe she did. However I realize I gotta stop being so friendly to to folks on the job because they lose seem to lose respect and think they can talk to me however they want and get away with it. I was raised to be respectful yet it appears alot of folks apparently didn't get that memo. Either that or they just have poor people skills. I realize I am often in the company of some genuinely not nice folks and they can often hide this which is making me get to the point where I don't wanna trust anyone. I mean I have my own problems to deal with and I can't be an emotional punching bag. Especially when I am walking on a thin line myself.  My right leg has been bothering me and I have been feeling really strange lately. Like my body is fighting off something weird maybe because of stress thats affected me. I was about to go to the doctor yesterday but decide against it. I don't really have anymore sick time left after all but I keep feeling like if I could get a good chunk of time off it'll do me alot of good. Sleep just feels like sleep. When I'm at home I don't really seem to have the time or energy to really relax. I feel on edge like some great doom is hiding around the corner. My place is a mess and because of everything going on now everyone here in Cali is encouraged to stay home. A buddy wanted to come hang out this weekend but I declined. Just trying to be safe you know? I am pretty sure I've been exposed to something and although I've not really gotten sick and I did get negative Covid results I don't wanna risk becoming a carrier. You know just because your body can fight off something it doesn't mean you can't you know carry something around with you. So again I just wanna be careful. Taking public transportation like I do and seeing all the homeless folks riding the bus you never know what you are in the presence of. Not gonna lie company would have been nice but theres a part of me that sort of has a crush on my buddy. Its nothing that strong but I'm really trying to not feel anything for folks who don't feel anything for me. Recently this type of thing almost cost me my job you know.... Its true often absence can make the heart grow fonder yet over time fortunately crushes simply fade away. I simply do not have the time or energy for foolishness and I can't afford to waste what little mental faculties I have left on "muggles". Seems a rather large part of society falls into the "muggle" category. The other night I was talking with a co-worker who is just so damn negative about everything and seems determined to suck the joy I have for things out of me. It does seem "in" now for folks to be cynical and jaded about things and this know it all attitude and unwillingness to branch out or try new things really irks me. These are qualities I pray that the man of my dream (if he exists) won't have when we meet because it WILL run me away. 

Its really strange to me that I get virtually no play from American dudes but these guys from Africa keep hitting me up online. Some of them are sexy as hell then its all smashed to pieces when they start asking for money. This seems to happen 9 out of 10 times and I'm just not the one. There are alot of these fellas who have made it the thing to do trying to scam American gay men. Especially when they know you are emotionally vulnerable. They try to get into your head and manipulate you. My own family doesn't ask me for money. Well my brother did once. Still I think it takes alot of nerve to just outright say "Send me a phone. Buy that for me and send it to me" Just assuming I'm loaded or something. I'm not and I don't really know anyone who's got it like that or they haven't told me. Thing is many of these guys from Ghana and Nigeria are drop dead gorgeous and I'd definitely date them if they lived closer. I can't do the long distance thing. been there done that and hated it. Also if you send me photos and won't video chat or talk on the phone....I'm sorry....but I'm thinking you have something to hide. Captain Liberia came over here and did really well for himself. In fact he's a tough act to follow. Lately it's dawned on me I could be running away from how I really feel about him....

Donald Trump seems to have failed in his attempt to hijack himself into another term. The Supreme Court basically told him to kick rocks. Him and his cronies wanted to throw out millions of votes. The crazy thing is he got so much support. I was getting worried for a minute. He's got folks believing the election was rigged. Folks chanting "Stop the steal" and showing up at rallies with guns. There are people who will literally believe anything he says. Its as if he cast a spell on their minds. Then there are the republicans who won't stand up to him because they may get in trouble for crazy things they did if he loses or they know Trump will "look out for them" as far as jobs and political power go if he wins. Also he has a habit of firing people at the drop of a dime. Then theres the fact some who oppose him are getting death threats. I've not seen or heard of him even acknowledging this. He doesn't say much about Covid either. So busy raising money to try an overturn the democratic process I guess? They're still working on his wall but thats more money wasted. Illegals can just as easily tunnel underground after all. PS5's are impossible to find because of scalpers and super tech savy individuals who have programs that buy up all available stock as soon as it goes for sale. Trucks are getting robbed and sales clerks and delivery folks are even stealing these consoles. The new Xbox Series X/S consoles are equally sold out everywhere. I am not kidding. I purposely went after what I assumed would be a console nobody wanted but Xbox Series S flew off the shelves. even in Japan which just DOES NOT HAPPEN. You see they really hate the Xbox brand over there. But its such a cute little box that looks like a white speaker....maybe thats why everybody snatched them up. Theres also Xbox game pass. Its a videogame version of Netflix I guess. The Xbox series S has no disc drive so its digital downloads or streaming only. It also does not output in native 4K (I still think Cyberpunk 2077 looks great on it though!) unlike its big brother the Xbox Series X which is $200.00 more at $500.00. The Series X is a super machine that beats the PS5 but most folks honestly won't see a difference except for the case of Sony having more (and better?) exclusives. Exclusives matter alot obviously since the Switch, a vastly underpowered console; sold like hotcakes on the strength of exclusives. Well that and portability. 

From the looks of things next year might be alot like this year in terms of this Covid madness. So tired of these damn masks. They do have a vaccine that seems to work. Right now they are only concentrating on giving it to older folks and medical folks. There seems to be some cases of people getting side effects. Maybe allergic reactions. Nothing serious yet its gonna take awhile to get the vaccine to everyone. They're saying folks in the general public here in the US will get it in March or April. It takes time to make and theres the upcoming cold weather. Also the vaccine has to be at a certain temperature. So theres that. Word from professionals in the medical field is that life should be back to normal in the Fall of 2021. I just got a flu shot recently and I know that flu shots are mandatory at some businesses. I wonder will it be the same for the Covid vaccine? Most people I talk to say they won't take it. They are worried there will be something bad in the vaccine. I don't have a problem taking it. But you can best believe I will do my research before that needle goes in my skin. Right now folks are talking about maybe some other strains of the virus popping up. Yeah I know. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water again right? With all thats going on I'm just gonna be focusing on my projects and saving money as I still wanna move next year. How serious am I? I actually cancelled some of my subscriptions. Not Netflix and the Disney/Hulu package. Amazon and HBO Max got the axe. HBO Max which I only got because I wanna watch "Wonder Woman" come Christmas. I don't think Amazon has enough good programs right now and I won't be ordering anything from them for awhile so I don't need the free shipping. When the Boys season 3 drops I might get them back. HBO got into some mess this week due to Warner Bros deciding to put their entire theater line up for 2021 on the HBO service without giving anyone notice! HBO will be getting Godzilla vs Kong and the JL Snyder cut next year so I may need to resub then. Gotta finish up watching "Love Craft Country" too. Thats a good show. Definitely not used to seeing black folks in a program like that. Speaking of black folks it look like the new Black Panther is coming in 2022. Still can't believe Chadwick is gone and no word at all on if Submariner is coming in BP2. Submariner is one of my favorite comic characters. He's just so damn hot and I like those pointy ears! Sure it makes no sense he can fly with those little ass wings on his ankles but whatever. Just wish Marvel would stop going back and forth on the is he a hero or a villain thing. Also did people forget he's also a mutant because its rarely mentioned unless he teams up with the X-Men. Anyway my anthology comic featuring four stories should be done by Feb (Detector Pig. DragonManx. Gamer Granny. Gerbilla.) then I gotta figure out on selling it and marketing etc. Will likely go the crowdfunding route and hire someone to help with promo and social media. Still not sure if I'll print it or if so how many copies. Meanwhile production is slated to start back on "Sasquatch" in Jan. I should have my producer paid off by then. I've backed some projects by other folks and even invested in some stuff. Way I see it is if I expect folks to invest in me why shouldn't I in turn support things I believe in? Pay it forward or put your money where your mouth is. Its important to give when you can. Its unfortunate that some people only give because they are forced to do it. In my opinion this is probably the biggest thing wrong with the world right now.