(To The 99 Most Essential Gregorian Chants)
Went out tonight for NyQuil
(Should be trying to find some lysol too!)
streets were empty
mostly quiet.
Curfews in full effect
because my people
my other people
protested
then it turned violent
turned into looting and rioting
(but they say those weren't really my people. (Those were the people who stacked those bricks
at those convenient spots. Those people).
Windows were smashed
things were stolen
military was called in stores are all boarded up
Sgt James says it looked like a scene from a movie when he drove past the armed men in Hollywood.
My double or triple brain struggles to take all this shit in
(strengthened by all those left and right hand brain exercises!)
So whats wrong with me?
Why do I need NyQuil?
Did my immune system tank because of job stress
pandemic life stress/anxiety
or was it heartbreak?
Covid test came back negative
so what is this shit
(phemonia?)
3-4 day headache
Coughing
(A dry cough)
an irritating sensation in my chest
and feeling heat on my ears
hot flashes bodywise
feeling hot with no fever and it seems to flare up even more after I talk on the phone
or is that my imagination?
Sneezing (mostly allergy related?)
Woke up sweating again the other day.
My body's fighting off something nasty
What is it?
I don't know because my covid test came back negative.
So theres that.
And now my job has me sitting at home
home where I should be able to rest in peace
but the neighbors are banging
so much I started reading prayers aloud to drive out the dark
and my landlady said theres repair work going on
so I'm thinking I need to get me a damn hotel room
either that or walk around with those
bluetooth headphones on 24/7
if I'm gonna survive another 6-8 months in this place
without losing my mind.
She texted me
my ghost writing partner
told me I'd have the rest of the Gerbilla (second issue) story today.
Nothing yet.
Meanwhile my artist hasn't sent me new comic art in like a month.
(Whats going on)
I can't sleep
not like this.
I feel hot.
I think NyQuil would help
and nothings open.
I feel hot
coughing everysooften
I need to change how I'm sitting so my leg won't get numb.
Its almost 12 and this castlevania-ish music and these sneezes are keeping me company.
Head is hurting but man is it spinning from this spinning world
that seems spinning out of control
Black lives matter
but why act out in such a fashion as they have this weekend?
Why give them even more cause to think we are lost causes?
I don't know that this society will ever completely accept us
can't get those nasty images out their heads
(I wonder who put those images there)
Other races saying we feel we are owed something.
Shit maybe those of us that want it are owed a damn ticket back to Africa
(Thats sorta funny. But not really cuz I wanna go but I can't on account one of my "brothaz" stole my birth certificate and my passport. Irony?)
Sometimes I feel like my brothaz hate me for being gay
for being me
for loving them so much more than they could ever love themselves.
Yeah I guess it is irony.
-Cue laugh track-
Wash yo hands
they say.
Rub yo place down with alcohol/bleach they say
and wear them gloves
but honey you done touched them other folks groceries
even with them gloves on and I ain't wearing no gloves
so....what does it all actually accomplish?
Shouldn't we all be wearing ET suits?
Some folks will not engage in conversation.
Just pay and get the hell out.
On the bus its free
you don't pay,
just get in the back door please and put on yo mask.
(I done seent a bunch of homeless folks sleeping over yonder in them there seats
and they ain't wearin no mask. So um....whats really goin on?)
Please stand six feet apart
thats what those instructions on the floor tell us
and the lines are often long
or it takes forever
when typically I'd be in and out in about 15 minutes
instead of cursing myself for leaving the Playstation Vita at home.
All I want now is some NyQuil
so I can sleep.
It probably won't stop the slight kinda burning I'm feeling
even though I have no fever
No shortness of breath
only a persistent cough every now and then.
I would perhaps have to resist the urge to chug it all down.
I'd like to get in a plane and fly over the city
spraying everybody with NyQuil to wash away
this blanket of despair that seems to have descended on the world in these strange times.
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