Confessions of a sad superhero book 148

 "Writing frees me"

So I'm here at the Grove bookstore again. I guess this is my other getaway spot since I'm hesitant about riding over to Long Beach after what happened the last time I rode the train. I ordered this mango cheesecake and a caramel macchiato (hot). Also grabbed a red bull for later. Watermelon flavor I think. I needed to get out and write. So much going on inside so I'm here at this crowded coffee shop armed with my trusty Asus laptop and yes the Steam Deck is at the ready in my backpack. I went to see Mad Max Furiosa just before coming here. It was a long and action packed epic. I mean I love the first Mad Max and I knew I'd like this one but I wasn't sure if I'd come out to the theater to watch it. Movies are kinda expensive. It cost me $20.00 to watch Furiosa. I sat as close as I could to the front. I usually try to sit away from other people because everytime somebody moves it screw with my peripheral vision. Still the reclining seats were nice. Was that what the $20.00 was for? Anyway this Memorial day weekend is flying by and I've been just laying around trying to get out of some kind of funk. I was at home laying in bed watching Spawnwave on Youtube when my next door neighbor started doing their tap on the wall routine they have often done in the past especially if I am talking on the phone. My guess is they probably thought I was talking and they do these little things to annoy me. Its weird and this has I kid you not been going on for over 20 years. Often they watch me through their peep hole and sometimes they rattle it loud enough to get my attention if I'm coming or going from my place. I don't even like talking about it but someone once told me this is someone who is mentally ill and I should not give energy to it. Anyway I was pissed off when I was leaving out and stuck up my middle finger because I knew they were watching me leave out for the movies. Speaking of the movie it was AMAZING! I will try to sum the story up best as I can...So theres this little girl named Furiosa who is out in the woods with another little girl and they are gathering apples. Its made clear that they are probably doing something wrong and they definitely have wandered further away from their village than is allowed. Anyway Furiosa and the other girl notice some outsiders are near. Apparently these are bad men so Furiosa goes over to stealthily sabotage their motorcycles. Unfortunately Furiosa isn't as good at stealth as she likes to believe because one of the men catches her in the act and so she is taken. She manages to blow this whistle though which alarms others in her village. Some village folk give chase including Furiosa's mother who handily takes out most of the guys who have taken Furiosa all except one who basically limps with Furiosa into the camp.  The leader of the camp (Chris Hemsworth) is trying to get the location of Furiosa's camp from the man who brought her there but he has been grieviously wounded and dies before being able to say anything and Furiosa just remains silent. Furiosa's mother arrives at the camp and liberates Furiosa. A chase ensues and after a desperate battle both are caught. Furiosa has to watch her mother get killed because they refuse to divulge the location of the village. Furiosa is taken under the wing of the leader and she ends up being traded to this ruler of a city as some sort of peace treaty like agreement. As time goes on Furiosa rises up through the ranks and becomes a certified bad ass. She ends up becoming friends with this guy who is some sort of royal smuggler I guess. The way this happens is she saves his ass from a horde of would be thieves. Seeing her potential he decides to take her under her wing and train her to become even more of a bad ass. (Quite a bit of coughing and sneezing going on in this place. I often wonder why folks don't take medicine to keep these symptoms at bay when they go out in public) Okay so back to the movie...Furiosa and smuggler dude end up getting in serious like with each other and they get involved in a scheme to trick Chris Hemsworth but things go wrong and after some more epic chases and battles smuggler dude is killed which really pisses Furiosa off even moreso than she already is and she goes all stabby shooty with the vengeance until she attains her oh so important goal of un-aliving Chris Hemsworth for killing her mom and all those other nasty things he has managed to rack up in the almost 3 hour run time of the film.The end. Having said all that I really enjoyed the movie and yes that means it along with Godzilla Minus will eventually end up in my physical home video collection. Also yes I do recommend it to anyone who likes action flicks because in this movie the action comes fast,furiosa and so often its nearly exhausting in a good way of course! (I'm listening to Alfa Mist on Amazon music by the way)

The last time I spoke to my therapist she asked me to compile some of my dreams so I'm gonna start making compilations here. But thats for later. I have been having plenty lately. Not sure whats up with that. 

Things at work are still weird. I noticed when I came back from my little vacation a week ago someone ate my chocolate cake I'd left in the fridge. Also someone covered the stack of my comics one content creator at work had out on a table in his office. Also someone erased my response to these little random questions usually left on a bulletin board in one of the little copy rooms. Its also been brought to my attention people have been spreading rumors about me. I've tried to stay out of folks way as to avoid this nonsense but it bothered me enough that I mentioned it to one of my supervisors. It seems whatever mess someone was doing that got the center into trouble over illegal downloads...well somehow folks are just assuming it was me, saying it was me because I bring my computer to work to play games and try to stay out of their faces. Its never enough. People aren't satisfied even when you go out of your way to stay to yourself. Ever since I had that talk with a supervisor months ago after I "offended" a co-worker I have strived to adhere to her advice of only keeping conversations with co-workers at a minimum. Hello and goodbye you know. Best way to stay out of trouble. I used to wonder why some people are like this. Now I know it was because they are among the wise.

I guess the more I think about how strangely some folks have been behaving towards me it makes perfect sense someone is creating a false narrative. Yeah, I've always known folks talk but its something I don't dwell on. Am I to start handing out lawsuits then? I have often entertained the idea of suing folks and it seems extreme but sometimes a show of force is the only thing some people understand. I think it would freak people out because they are assuming one would not go that far...

Production on the SonsOfLegend film will pick back up soon. I'm thinking next month. The script is done and I'm having someone do a comic book illustration. Since I'm planning on getting storage space I've gotta start pinching pennies. I will do the crowdfunding thing but I want to have a nice little "press it" done for that. This includes the comic and maybe a trailer. Could compile some of the older episodes too I suppose. Realistically I could shoot some sort of teaser to build awareness for SOL. Also I'm building a connected universe. Was always doing that until everything got derailed by Brianopolis and company because they didn't understand or believe enough in what I was doing. The cinematographer thinks we could shoot everything for under 10 grand and I could raise that myself . It would just take more time and crowdfunding would work faster and I wouldn't be broke. So far I cut out some of the streaming services and I'm making conscious effort to curb my spending. Not that I live extravagantly but the constant Lyft and Uber rides back home and to work have to stop. I decided not to buy anymore new videogames until next year...well maybe I will cut my fast when Nintendo releases their new console. I have more than enough games and systems to keep me busy for awhile plus theres that backlog. Still planning to go home to see family. Florida (Mom) for Halloween and I think I will go see my father in NC for Thanksgiving. So I gotta start putting money aside for that. Need to get some much needed dental work done. So theres that. Also theres the not so small matter of me renovating or de-cluttering my apartment. I'd like to do more Nerds With Badges episodes. Maybe I could become a real mover and shaker as a content creator. God knows I never really run out of things to talk about yet theres the elephant in the room. I think I need a co-host or at the very least guests. The last time I shot NWB it wasjust me and Miguel. Its odd that some folks who seem to like some of the things I like have such a hard time talking about them or joining forces with someone else to build something bigger together. Guess we all express our passion differently and some of us are just lone wolves.

Confessions of a sad superhero book 147

Tues and Wednesday I didn't go to work. I have been feeling kinda out of it lately plus I had a slight cold and a headache that lasted for days. So I took two days to recover. I think sometimes my body reaches a point where it needs time to deal with stress or a cold and when I take time off my body is like...okay now we can get sick and feel messed up but when we are on the job gotta stay up. Its weird I know. Still I definitely needed those days. For physical and mental relief. Speaking of mental health my therapist called me Wednesday and I spent around 30 minutes catching her up on everything thats happened since we last spoke which was quite some time ago. Its hard to believe Ashley's baby is almost two now. Time flies. This is great for her though as she has been able to have more time for clients. Ashley wants me to give her a dream journal since I told her about my frequent dreaming. I think I probably dream more than anyone else on this planet. Its funny though that I usually have vivid dreams after intense masturbation. Right at that moment of explosion I often experience this white flash and I just know from past experience a dream or some dreams are coming. No pun intended. (People around here at the workplace are doing plenty of sneezing or coughing. I have noticed most of the time people still cover their mouths with their hands or not at all and I often wonder why folks don't use cough drops or something when they have a cold...) 

Anyway I am supposed to be going on vacation next week yet no one seems to know where the paperwork which I had approved last month is so I'm stressing over that even if I am wondering if I should even take the time off since it looks like I won't be going out of town for the Michigan Comic Con I'd planned for. Lack of finances. I could get my tickets at the last minute as payday is a few days before the event but I dunno. The Dangerous African and i had a talk the other day via Facebook Messenger and I'd really like to go visit him now especially since he basically has an empty nest. Alot of drama has gone down with that man and his kids over the years and let me tell you he is sooo happy to finally be free after having to put some folks out. Flights to North Dakota are kinda pricey though so we'll see how I feel or what happens regarding my time off paperwork. 

-To Be Continued-

Confessions of a sad superhero book 146

I came in to work hours ago with the intent that I'd catch up on all that has happened but its been like this for awhile now. Not sure why I put off certain things that are important to me. Also I don't wanna just come her to write about bad stuff all the time. Sometimes its the really little things or quiet victories as they say... Anyhow a certain co-worker who I have been having issues with didn't show up today. Its possible he called off and nobody told our supervisor. Hopefully thats the case. I mean we have our issues true but I don't wish dude ill will. I just wish he would just change some of his ways. But people are people and you gotta let folks be who they are. He comes in late often and sometimes it is a chore to work with him because he doesn't take this job seriously which worries me because I have seen the bad things that can happen when people get too relaxed working here. Like my stuff getting stolen last year around this time for example. Speaking of getting too relaxed last night after a maintenance worker left a homeless woman walked in before the door shut smelling strongly of piss. She REALLY didn't wanna leave and I had to get up from the desk and use my "Dad Voice" to get her out. Then in the morning on my way home from work I had something funny and bizarre happen to me on my way home in an Uber...

Continued- (To Seal greatest hits on amazon music)

I'd rolled my window down in the back seat to let in air because it smelled a bit weedish in the car and after we'd gone a few blocks I heard this slapping sound coming from my right outside so I turned to look out the window to see what it was all about and this trans prostitute named Coko was standing near a corner in a thong and little else. Standing there making her butt cheeks clap. That was such a freakish situation and the driver just looked straight ahead with an expression that mirrored my thoughts. Insanity and is this real world? I guess it is. I did say thats crazy and he agreed with me with not exactly a laugh. I started thinking what a life this person has and how crazy it has to be to let a doctor cut away your body parts and to have to be out in the streets living like this. People pay you for sex. Some people will actually find this acceptable for a sex partner and how can you survive even with programs to help especially with no medical insurance or whatnot. I keep trying to imagine what dude looked like before he became a dudette and what will he do when they hit 75-80 years of age. The real crazy thing is they probably have had sex more times than I would in several lifetimes. I think about having sex with someone else and it feels like its something that happened a lifetime ago. Seriously. And at times it feels like going forward this is gonna be only something I can fantasize about because maybe some switch in my mind has stifled that part of me which used to be so much more alive. 

Been having some interesting dreams lately. The other day I dreamt of being in a forest with what seemed to be a class of kids (20s at most) and we got spooked because we heard a sound we thought was a bear which made us turn around to leave quickly. I grabbed a stick as others grabbed stones or branches as well in case we had to defend ourselves. I had to help this one young girl who was having trouble keeping up. When we exited the forest we came upon this warehouse or dock near a bridge where one of the kids went to purchase something to smoke from what appeared to be warehouse workers.

The co-worker came in late. Said he was in a motorcycle accident. I asked him if he was okay and he said he was but his friend (he was riding with I guess?) was in the emergency room. I saw no scratches or wounds but whatever. Not my business. He did ask me in a strange way if I wanted to rotate when I returned to the desk from my break. I just said it didn't matter but I was annoyed the way he asked me. He goes something to the effect of "If I ask you a question it can go left with you so I just wanna be clear with my question" So this was kinda douchey because it was in a way bringing up the past which has been rocky to the point I only speak to him on a hello and goodbye or work related only basis. He really should have said would you like to switch? Yes or no? Nothing else was needed to pour salt on something. He also left the gate open as usual. I don't wanna give anymore energy to this because I have so many other things to worry about in my life that matter but it continuously stings having to work with irksome folks. I suppose everybody can relate to that. I guess until I get powerful enough in society and can get to the place where I am not around low vibrating folks I'm gonna have to deal with this type of BS even when I go out of my way to tune people out. I thank the Lord for my music. My videogames and my comic books. My creative works. All those LOTR and Harry Potter marathons. All these things that help keep me from turning into a supervillain...  

Speaking of creative works... I did an episode of my podcast last week. Its actually gonna be edited into two episodes but I was a bit bummed out since my guest did a no call no show which forced me to basically have to wing it with my cameraman. Honestly I would like to redo because I don't feel really good about the whole thing. I dunno. Perhaps when I see what the edits look like I might change my mind. I did have an idea about adding a Lego segment with a co-worker who does Lego model sets all the time for a hobby. He did a Lego Easter Bunny for me for Easter! The podcast is gonna cost me ALOT so I am really not sure if I'll do another one like that with a cameraperson. I really need to learn how to edit my own stuff. Professionally I mean. Theres this guy...Carlos. He's one of my actors from the SOL days. Says he wants to help out and is down for building something even if I can't really afford to pay him. He was actually part of why I canceled some past podcast shoots as I couldn't afford to pay him. Maybe he sensed that? Anyway I do need a co-host for my podcast and I'd love to have a regular one who gets me. Yes I'm a bit leery after what happened with my last co-host. Still the truth is...well it takes a village to raise a production company. Basically. As hard as it can be to deal with other folks I really do need to partner with some like minded individuals. 

To be continued-