Confessions of a sad superhero book 122

A hurricane is coming and I just survived one.

I have been through alot in the past few years. Alot in this past year alone. My mind has been cluttered and certainly overwhelmed. I realize everyone has issues and some others out there are going through things truly unimaginable to many of us but some things I experienced recently were devastating to my mind body and psyche. To say I went to a dark place is no understatement. I probably suffered at least several mental breakdowns in 2024 (that no one seemed to notice!) but I'm back on track now. Everything feels renewed and I'm all back dedicated and shit with the understanding I gotta leave some things behind to chase this dream of mine. To help me clean up after the proverbial storm and regain focus I did something I've been thinking about for months now. I put together a list of things...a schedule to carry me through March of 2024. An anchor really. Anyway, here it go.

SCHEDULE OF PROJECTS

<2023-2024>

 

2023

 

AUGUST

August 27^th (Nerds With Badges Interview)

August 28^th (Sins Rehearsal/Meeting)

 

SEPTEMBER

September 3^rd

(Long Beach Nerds With Badges Comic Con)

September 10^th

Nerds With Badges (Filming episode -PS4/iPod Repair-)

September 24^th

Sins Of Legend Teaser (Rehearsal)

 

OCTOBER

October 8^th

(Sins Of Legend Filming)

 

NOVEMBER

November 5^th

(Nerds With Badges)

 

DECEMBER

December 3^rd

(Nerds With Badges Los Angeles Comic Con)

 

December 17^th

(Nerds With Badges)

 

 

2024

 

JANUARY

Jan 7^th

(Nerds With Badges)

 

FEBRUARY

Feb 4^th

(Nerds With Badges)

 

MARCH

March 3^rd

(Nerds With Badges)

???

Confessions of a sad superhero book 121

 From yesterday while in Long Beach....

I’m still on vacation. Truthfully my spirit needed this. Took my annual little train ride to Long Beach today. Just wanted to sit out by the water for awhile. Try to clear out some of the clutter in my brain. I have so much on my mind and by the time I got on the train I could feel my body tensing up. Like I have been sleeping uncomfortably for some time now and so often my neck is stiff or sore. Today it was really flaring up and I felt overwhelmed by emotions as this very attractive brother came to sit across from me. He was dark and muscular with a black and white (or was it blue and white?) striped short sleeved shirt. I wanted to look over in his direction but I just focused on reading an X-Men comic via the kindle app on my little Samsung tablet. There were some other attractive fellas on the train. Surprisingly there were not a lot of folks on the train and it was even more sparsely populated on the marina where I’m currently sitting. Its kinda hot out here but its fine as long as you are not sitting directly in the sun. Microsoft windows locked me out of word at first so I wasn’t able to type anything until I found a free wi-fi signal. (I really gotta get me a hotspot) I really planned to come out here to work on a schedule for my projects this year. I might do that later if I can find a Denny’s around here because since my Birthday was yesterday I get a free meal. The free meal is usually something I do every year but yesterday when I went to Denny’s with Sir Nathan I had the horror of finding out you gotta reserve online now via an app.

 I have been talking a lot with my friend in Texas. He’s a ranch owner from Botswana. We have good conversations and I am finding “that Jamaican person” to be ever so gradually fading from my thoughts because that is what happens when you connect with a cool person willing to invest in possibly having a future with you as opposed to someone who basically pretends you don’t exist. Its nice being able to notice other attractive guys that might like you do in fact actually exist. I saw quite a few today. I walked past a couple on my way to the Marina and the lady laughingly goes “Protect ya neck!” She was giving me props on my bootlet Wutang shirt that I ordered off Amazon a few months back because I had ended up getting hooked on the excellent Hulu series. Anyway that made me laugh and you know this was a reminder that no matter what Long Beach will always feel like home to me. Maybe oneday I’ll move back here.

I find myself thinking a lot about quitting the lgbt center. Especially since my stuff was stolen. It just doesn’t feel the same working there now. When you add up all the crazy stuff that’s going on with clients and people of questionable character hanging around plus all the potential security risks I get stressed out simply thinking of going back there. (Damn is this sun making my laptop HOT!) honestly I did think about doing some job hunting with this extra time I have to myself. Guess I could. Wouldn’t hurt. (The Queen Mary ship nearby just blew her horn so I’m thinking that might be my que to split. Its weird but I have noticed the police watching me since I came here today. I only started experiencing this over the last few years and I don’t really dwell on it. I’m simply aware. A black soldier recently fled to Korea he says to get away from the crazy racist shit that happens here. I totally understand how he feels. Damn this seafood smells really good blowing around from these restaurants on the marina. I’m really tempted to go get some shrimp. Then again I can use doordash for that later since they gave me credit for screwing up my order yesterday. Doordash and Uber Eats have dropped the ball several times with my food recently. I need to stop spending money on these services. Well I’m about to end this but next week I’m planning to start rehearsals for my new Sins short and things are moving along with my comics and the animation so despite all the chaos of life I’ve still remained productive… 

Update: On my way home a cool chick with a facial disfigurement gave me strawberry Jarittos soda because she didn't have a can opener. I ended up going to Chipotle for a chicken bowl also.

Confessions of a sad superhero book 120

 Delayed response and other strange happenings. 

Part 1

I got a surprise the other day when Mr. Ninja called me up out of the blue. It was a cool conversation I guess. We talked about things in general going on at work and it was different talking to him this time because all I kept thinking was how to end the conversation and get off the phone. Meanwhile, he kept asking me if I was working that night even after I'd already told him a couple of times during our conversation. I gotta figure out a healthy way to deal with this. Dude came by my place and I think when he saw the clutter it just changed the dynamic. I still believe asking him to come up that first time was a mistake even though things kinda got hot and heavy. Perhaps my mistake was not taking him up on his offer to help me clean up? Perhaps I was so embarrassed thats the reason I didn't let him help me? Its ironic because my apartment is due for inspection next week so I HAVE to unclutter the place. Could use the help but right now its so hot and they say this weekend will be a really HOT one. Then again will it be too much temptation you know...us being in the same space alone and all? I did tell him we are just friends going forward but friends do hang out together from time to time I guess. But when you are trying to get over someone...well sometimes it takes a while for the lust to go away. Maybe in some cases it never really goes away. I suppose then it simply lies dormant. Its the craziest thing  having a powerful attraction for someone and you really don't want to be because you know the other person will never feel the same way. Maybe sometimes some people do eventually come around though because a few people from my past have hit me up recently. My theory is once folks have a taste of reality they come to understand they really should have given some of us a chance because all this time ya'll coulda been in a healthy relationship.

Part 2 

8.11.2023

So I'm really starting to think I've been hacked because most of my electronic stuff has been acting kinda funky but I honestly mostly don't care as weird as that sounds. I'm pretty sure someone has hacked my instagram because I'm always noticing things that i supposedly clicked on with likes yet these are things I have not clicked on so I've said it before and I'll say it again....some people just have too much extra time on their hands. But...whatever. I just had to pay my animator a grip of moolah plus a couple of artists for doing comic related work then I ordered a few things I needed from Lowes. The inspection on my apartment was done yesterday. I did a pretty decent clean up before the guy came through. I guess I did okay because he didn't take any photos and despite the clutter its organized and its actually rare for me to see a roach in my place these days because I use so many different types of poisons along with plenty of roach preventive measures. Trash with food goes in plastic airtight bags. This is usually promptly thrown in the trash chute in the hallway. Sometimes I spray the chute or toss a few pesticides down it as well. Better to overdo things when it comes to these pests. I may have Sir Nathan come over at some point sooner than later to help me remove my bed. Meanwhile I assembled a shoe rack the other day ordered from Amazon. Where else? And...tonight at work was particularly tough as my eyes were so tired due to disturbed sleep from that damn inspection...

My vacation is coming up but its unlikely I will go anywhere. Might go to Long Beach to sit out by the water for awhile but thats about it. Was considering going to visit my mother and even though Florida tickets are cheap now (I wonder why) I can wait till Oct. Especially since I already have so many other financial obligations. Still need to get that root canal done. Maybe in Oct me and my friend in Texas who I've been talking with might meet up in Vegas. I'm still skittish on dating but I'm trying to remain open to it. Someone from my past has been reaching out since we came across each other on the dating app (which I have tried to cancel my membership yet Match.com makes this very difficult to actually pull off!) Mr. Ninja remains someone I have chosen to avoid because I realize it was a big mistake getting involved with him. Maybe in the future a friendship will be possible but I can't risk that right now because although most of my romantic feelings for him are gone theres still the attraction factor. It hasn't completely faded. Yet. Out of sight out of mind does wonders for resistance though! In other news it appears the FTC is doing yet another appeal to block the Microsoft/Activision/Blizzard acquisition. My God, I am so tired of these people. Yep, I am rooting for Microsoft because I'd like to see them back on top again like they were when the 360 was hot.