I didn't go to work tonight because I needed a day. I had a migraine for like a few days and then earlier when I took the last migraine pill I had from Kaiser I got that weird sensation in my arms and legs again. It really felt like someone was squeezing my arms and legs so I just got up and started moving around. That helped. Eventually I went to sleep but it helped to know I didn't have to worry about getting up to go to work. The migraine sorta came back though later then gradually it just faded. I did end up having a dream about some lady getting basically beat up until some ghosts helped her by tripping the attackers. Its something because in the dream I was able to make the ghosts trip the bad guys. Then the lady took a long running start that led into her doing this crazy ass flying kick into the bad guy who'd almost knocked her out with this devastating punch earlier.
I have really been thinking alot about the diets that the kids at the lgbt center have. I have eaten some of the food and what I've noticed is they get alot of meat in their diets. They need better food. Maybe thats why many of them act so crazy. I wonder if theres anything I can do about that?
I rode the bus yesterday and it was so damn crowded. Mostly because of the homeless people sleeping in the seats. I don't believe any were wearing masks. I recall a guy sneezing or coughing the other day and somebody told him "Cover your fucking mouth man! What the fuck is wrong with you?!?" I plan to go back to taking the train again pretty soon. Tired of this shit. Its bad enough I have to walk a block from the bus stop across from my job because alot of the time TS prostitutes like to hang out there. People drive by cruiseing you and then theres homeless folks or crazies who like to occupy or just sleep on the bench. I can't even recall the last time I sat at that bench. I'm sure its filthy and I don't wanna bring any "guests" home with me. There was this handsome brother sitting next to me this morning. He's a security guard. Don't think I've seen him before. He was agitated about something and saying something hostile, but because I had headphones on I couldn't quite make it out. I tried my hardest not to look in his direction. Young, dark, hot and full of testosterone. Then this really pretty sister came to sit after he offered her his seat. She's in her late 40's. Light skinned. Seemed kinda worried about her purse the last time I sat next to her. I just took out my Nook tablet and tried to ignore her behavior. So I didn't so much as make eye contact with her this time. I did notice she was using hand sanitizer on her hands when she sat down. It seems recently they have discovered this stuff may be actually doing more harm than good. Maybe folks didn't get the memo. I guess some would rather not take any chances. Can't say I blame them. I remember some folks would spray stuff on the bus or spread paper before they sat down. Much of the time people do NOT want to sit next to you. Ironically it is probably good to get exposed to the virus so you can build up an immunity. Well for many anyway. Not everyone obviously. Some people go too far I think with trying to be super clean. Its pretty much impossible unless you literally wash your hands immediately after you touch ANYTHING. The only other option is to wear a full body suit. I am pretty damn sure I had some strain of the shit and it simply passed. I really want to fly out of town to see Captain Liberia for my birthday but I am worried about being around others because there is still so much we don't know about this and now they are saying the virus can possibly flare up again later even after you've recovered. I wonder if they will have a vaccine by next year or is 2020 gonna be just like this. Another year of cancelled or pushed back release dates on movies,tv shows and videogames. Shortages on foods and supplies. Folks out of work because businesses are shut down and folks mad because they can't really go anywhere and we all gotta wear these damn masks that make it hard to breathe sometimes. I wanna switch jobs and move not to mention get back to filming but everything is on hold until? I wish I knew when.
I took myself off Grindr awhile back. Had a run in with someone who knew me but I had no idea who they were. I responded to their profile that seemed nice but instead of saying hello the response was "Hello Sergio. Have a nice day Sir!" It was a weird exchange. I don't want to get to the point where I'm thinking all gay men are nuts and somethings wrong with how pheremones are working and thats part of why we are so strange with each other so I decided its time to take a long break from even attempting to date. Honestly sometimes I feel a slight curiousity toward women and I wonder if its got anything to do with the fact most men seem to reject me and my body has gone thru some sort of biological change to help me find companionship. Or it could be I'm evolving beyond just being gay. In nature animals do change to suit situations. I have been focusing alot on using my left hand as much as possible for activities and I can tell its certainly helped me. Especially in the reflexes department. Reaction time too. I don't really talk to people about this stuff but I think its good to write it down because it might help someone one day. I know that tapping into other parts of your brain most don't normally use can help make you better in some ways. Could even cure mental illness and boost your physical abilities based on your faith or state of mind. The down side is that you could tap into some things which could be destructive if you don't learn to control it or if no one shows you how. Some examples are awareness of spiritual beings and empathy. Sometimes I think this is pheremonal but people can feel what you're feeling and they can be drawn to you. There is also tremendous truth to you become what you think so you have to be careful what you're feeling about yourself when others are around because they can pick up on it and react. Basically what I'm saying is that if you feel like you are a piece of shit people are gonna treat you that way. I have heard of some people with psychic abilities having to move to more secluded places too because in a city type environment you are bombarded with vibrations from folks. And alot of folks are fucked up. (Could explain why I am usually more active and creative at night. Less "psychic noise") There are books about shielding yourself and visualization exercises involving color. Hell even wearing certain colors can affect how people react to you. Human beings are really strange creatures. I'm gonna go on record as saying most of the time I'm not even sure how human I am because of all the bizarre things I experience.
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