The Man Who Ate Curses: Book 1

 (TO CHILLED HIP HOP AND SOUL MIX #1 & #2 BY RAPHAEL)

Chapter 4

Well February is almost done and we are heading into Daylight savings time. Egg prices are getting higher, big videogame companies are in trouble because of high budgets and loooooong develpoment cycles...meanwhile I'm not sure if Donald Trump and Elon Musk are helping save the country or if they are trying to destroy it. I guess I hoped 2025 would be saner than 2024 but looks like that may not happen. Just yesterday while riding on the bus to work a crazed white guy ran up and threw water(?) at my window. But at least I finally got around to getting a new and more powerful laptop. (What the hell is up with this keyboard here at my post??? Some letters are sticking!) Anyway the company that made my laptop is called "Gigabyte". They are known for manufacturing computer parts so thats a good thing. The laptop is from last year and its pretty current with specs. Not sure how much in the way of "AI" is has baked in (Thats all the rage these days) but it has 32 gigs of RAM and it makes all my games look like brand new games I never played before so I'm happy. Even if it does run a bit HOT at times and the fans sound like jets about to take off. I'm happy. Not so happy it cost me over a grand but what can you do. It was quite the accomplishment living up to my New Years resolution which was to get a new laptop once the tax return check came. Speaking of checks it seems Donald and Elon found a bunch of money when they laid off a bunch of fed workers and investigated (allegedly) some crazy spending by organizations ripping American citizens off moneywise. As a result a $5000 check could be heading our way. Probably will take a year to go into effect. We'll see. I could certainly use the money. I'd use some for my SonsofLegend short film (meeting about that later this week) and put the rest in the bank and not touch it. I imagine I could produce a short for about $2500 as I have plenty of experience with low budgets yet a crowdfunding campaign might be the better route to take. The safer route to take. Honestly I'm not sure how long I'm gonna keep working here because my spirit is just tired so I need to save as much money as possible in case something crazy happens and I decide its time to give notice. Now don't get me wrong...this is not a bad job perse...its just there are so many changes happening and some of us are really worrying we are being pushed to the door. The union seems useless and some of the things we have to deal with would over time work anyones nerves. Also I'm tired of people telling me what to do and just tired of being tired you know? Mostly these days I don't feel all that energetic or maybe its when I get here. I'm not sleeping well and my back hurts sometimes or maybe its my kidneys. Then theres the clutter I'm still working on. Emotionally a part of me seems like its gone numb and the mere thought of dating fills me with a sense of dread. In some ways I think the concept of dating men is something I've largely abandoned. I'm not really into women either since its not something I've explored beyond high school. I guess at this point in my life I want to just focus on making sure I'm okay. Making sure my future is secure. Gotta get this paper as they say and look out for my health. Well that needs to be a bigger priority. I took myself off the dating apps and theres a fellow on Facebook who has been doing the messenger chat with me for a couple of weeks although we've not talked,video chatted or spoken by phone. Part of me is suspicious you know. I'm pretty sure people I know look at my social media -on the low-. Some might even troll me. Some folks are not even who they say they are and I ain't got time for no mind games because I'm building my empire you know. Folks can just miss me with that nonsense. So yeah I've gone numb to dating. Maybe one day I won't feel this way or I will feel something you know but for now as they say its a trade off. Self pleasure has even gotten numb but at least I have my projects and my hobbies to keep me going. (Been dreaming frequently as of late too) Speaking of projects 2025 has already started to get busy with projects. Another comic is heading to the printer and there are at least two more coming before the year is out. The cartoon is coming along. Just had a much needed and too long put off meeting with the fellas last month so it should be done pretty soon although I might end up hiring some other folks to help out. Another reason to save my money and cut uneccesary expenses. Theres an event I might cover for my podcast this weekend if I have the energy. Need to plan some trips for this year too. Maybe I'll finally do that African trip but its also important I don't stress myself out trying to do too much because lately I've been well my thoughts have been so clusterfuck because maybe I'm thinking of too much at one time. If I were rich I'd hire a personal assistant but since I'm not rich a well thought out schedule will have to do instead.

The Man Who Ate Curses: Book 1

To KCRW. 

The weird guy who is so painfully socially awkward that many thought would just crumble and die because all I endured (even surviving their own attempts to end me!) I am the strange anomaly which exists in this world and yet I walk in the spiritual realms. A thing of science and magic. I am.

I went down south to see my father last week. Got back and promptly caught a cold. My immune system is usually spectacular but I've been stressed and with all the people sneezing and coughing in the airports (often without bothering to cover their mouths!) its amazing a cold was all I caught. My nose was running so much and I felt so awful that I came home from work early this morning and I called off again for my shift tonight. At least my stress level has decreased a bit. I have spent like two weeks trying to get in touch with Lymonicus my somewhat father figure. I was concerned enough that I called around to hospitals and searched online so see if he'd died. Eventually, I went over to his house before my trip and wasn't able to get inside the complex so yesterday I did what I was putting off for awhile. I called the police and asked them to do a wellness check. An officer called to leave me a message from an unlisted number. He told me he'd spoken to Lymonicus roomie (who I sorta had a crush on and came to accept he was out of my league and I guess I'm a bit peeved he had me searched that time he misplaced his money) and that Lymonicus was in Cedar Sinai. The officer left me two contact numbers. One for Lymonicus's sister and his roomie. The roomie's voicemail was all I got for him so I tried the sister and she told me Lymonicus suffered a severe digestive issue like around Christmas time. So that explains why he wasn't on social media and his voicemail was full everytime I called. Also why he didn't return my texts. I knew something was wrong so now I know what all I can do is wait until the sister calls me to let me know I can go see him in the hospital. I'm just glad he's okay. It sucks no one called me but they said his phone was locked and there was no way to access his messages. This is definitely a wake up call for me. My father reminded me how important it is to have those emergency contacts in place for when stuff happens. Lymonicus is my emergency contact and I'm pretty sure he has my fathers info but well we all need to make sure folks can indeed get notified when shit happens. Its also a good idea to check in on people, especially older folks at least once a week...so do it. 

Interview with the dark superhero book 1 Chapter 1 "Re-me" (Or The Man Who Ate Curses)

Todays Playlist: 

https://youtu.be/FdGgVA32UrE?si=4ycFHi8ehMR6F_oe

I got up earlier than usual today. Dragged myself out of bed. Anxiety be damned and I washed some socks in the sink. Brushed my teeth. Showered then I called a LYFT totake a $26.00 trip across town to do a wellness check on my friend who I dreamt about doing slapstick comedy in some theater earlier. No idea what that was all about. Been calling, texting and emailing this guy for a few days now. Worried because of the fires going on you know. He hasn't responded to me and its been over a week since he's been on social media. When I get to his crib there was no way to get in. No bell to ring because the door to his unit is locked behind a gate. Asked a few neighbors if anything was going on but all I discovered was everyone who'd evacuated returned Thursday. Everything in the apartment complex was eerily quiet. I was expecting a dog to come out after me as I wandered in the darkness like a spy out of some Jason Bourne film peeping through windows. Eventually I took a photo of me in the place and sent it via text so he'd know I was there at least then I booked.

Walked all the way from Laurel Canyon blvd (Its a long adventurous walk through the hood that is dark and quiet -in an unsettling way- suburbia till I got to sunset where I chose to dine at an Ihop. I was actually thinking it woulda been Denny's but it was Ihop. It felt strange yet familiar there dining on my own like in the old days when I'd go out more often. For much of those early days it was Louiszilla or Georgezilla accompanying me on those jaunts but in the years we've all gone our separate ways and I have become the lone wolf who rarely leaves his den unless its absolutely neccessary. Got some coffee with french vanilla creamer. Ordered the sampler and after fighting with my mini kindle which initially refused to read the micro SD card inside it; I browsed the web for a bit. Read about Nintendo Switch 2 leaks and its supposed reveal later this week. A waitress said what I suspect. "Leaks" are purposely put out to generate a buzz. Got into a cool conversation with a white lady who seemed to be a "Karen" at first as she was really being difficult and fussy with the staff over a particular meal she usually gets there for her son who's been coming there since he was a year old. He's 15 now. I told her about my wellness check adventure and she was very supportive as well as understanding of this peculiar situation I'd found myself in. We also talked about how fast it got dark outside. By the time I finished my meal it was around the time for me to come in to work so here I am. Called my father to let him know my trip was booked and fiddled with the settings on  my Lenovo Legion Go in an attempt to play Funko Fusion and really began  to understand why the Steam operating system is getting so popular with gaming devices these days. With Windows you gots ta update and install drivers. Steam is like a Nintendo or mostly any console experience. You turn the damn thing on and it just WORKS. What a concept! And tomorrow I will attempt more adventures. Laundry, grocery shopping and maybe if I'm not too lazy packing for my trip. 

Interview with the dark superhero book 1 Chapter 1 "Re-me" (Or The Man Who Ate Curses)

-THE MAN WHO ATE CURSES-

My name is Sergio Wadell Willis. I am the 55 year old son of Charles and Vera but blood of deities runs in these veins as well. Its why I like Stevie have clearer vision than most. I'm also a writer and an artist. Which means basically I feel EVERYTHING all the time. Well, most of the time anyway. Comic books, movies, music, videogames and my artistic abilities help drown out the noise of living in a world that has grown increasingly complex and confusing. Sometimes this world is disturbing and unsettling and my mind fights to stay reasonably sane even though it is stung with the pangs of countless trauma. Yes, it is a true miracle I have made it this far. This is my story.

Los Angeles is burning right now. Its a terrible tragedy. No one really seems to know where the fires came from or exactly who started them but 24 lives have been lost and so many have lost EVERYTHING. I have been affected because I'm employed in the Hollywood area. My place of business has to a degree reduced staff. Some of my friends or associates have been displaced. I recall a week ago the winds were blowing quite hard outside so this was certainly the worst of times for any fires to start. The wind factor has made controlling the fires difficult. Last I heard they have it contained 30%. I live pretty far from the fires thank the powers that made me. I cannot even imagine trying to hurriedly pack what I love most into a few boxes in the face of such a disaster. As it is I still wonder how many of us are really prepared for a big disaster. Who has enough food and water to last and for how long? 

Some truly unpleasant and misguided individuals are saying this is all God's wrath. They said the same when there were earthquakes. Its insane having to share a planet with fools like this. Someone called them trolls. I suppose they are. People who say crazy things (whether or not they actually believe it) in order to induce negative feelings in others. Meanwhile I still did my podcast Friday. My trip home this month is still happening and production on my cartoon continues. Production I imagine will also resume this month on my "soft reboot" of SonsOfLegend. There is a peculiar numbness in the fibre of me regarding these concepts of love,dating or romance. It is strange that something I once yearned so much for now seems something "another person wanted" I mean to say a recent heartbreak appears to have submerged much of these desires. Maybe one day as Oleta put it "A wounded heart will heal" but for now its in the past and so many other things are far more important. 

Confessions of a sad superhero book 180

 Dreaming again...

#1 Was in an amusement park. Seems I was with a family or group of friends maybe. I got lost or separated and after some women tried to help me (including an older Hispanic woman who seemed flirtatious) I ended up locked into a lab I managed to squeeze thru a door into.

#2 My sister Fatish was skating down this foggy street that sloped until she somehow fell down into an abyss. She dropped her cellphone and I  heard her below yelling so I aksed someone to go get a rope but some people who might have been nuns helped Fatisha up. She seemed unhurt. (I think seeing Nosferatu the other day influenced this dream)

#3 This penguin looking ceature was bouncing around these multicolored marbles as some other creatures(?) pursued him. He broke one of the marbles in half to consume something that made him stronger. Also an owl was there in a hole in a tree and it seems I saw a package arrive at my apt. Maybe I was anticipating the arrival of the new internet device being shipped from AT&T. 

#4 A cute Hispanic guy who looked like an Uber/Lyft driver was walking around singing a song about dying...I am sure he said Sergio you will die but this was actually mixing up with a song that was playing on the radio from KROQ at that time I was sleeping. The song was about dying. Sort of upbeat but it had a heaviness to it like the song Welcome to The Black Parade does.

Confessions of a sad superhero book 179

Been dreaming again lately. Of course most of this stuff tends to fade unless I jump up and jot it down really quickly. 

Yesterday...

Was crying because my Grandma Mary's dog "Killer" died and a little boy came to comfort me. Also a young girl came to put a blanket on me. I told Fatisha that the reason I hate going to funerals is because I fall apart. She told me it was how we let go or something to that effect. Then it seems like I was seeing a coffin which was reddish and kinda futuristic and ancient looking at the same time. I saw them lowering it into the ground and I was feeling dread wondering how I was going to hold it together after I was buried down there in the dark. I envisioned trying to hold my breath as I dug up through earth. Seems I said animals are like angels and the rest has faded from my memory.

Dec 15th

Was at a flea market type setting and was talking with these two little white kids. Both boys. At one point I scolded one because he was ripping the cover of two. I stopped him before he could complete his damage on one by snatching it and this startled him causing him to jump. 

Nov 27th

Bigfoot trying to get me and some white kid who ran into a bathroom closing the door to escape.

Confessions of a sad superhero book 178

 (To Duran Duran station on iheart Radio)

I called in sick last night. Really was feeling just drained and spiritually exhausted. Again. Still when your mind and body need it they will let you know its time to take a break. If only for a moment. I was able to do some soul searching and basically re-affirmed my goals. Got some things accomplished that I'd put off for awhile. Did my laundry. Two loads. Still have another load to do on my off days. Got my workplace medical insurance squared away after missing the deadline. Connected with my business partners on the Detector Pig cartoon. Its amazing how sometimes in life you can just get so caught up in surviving that everything else seems to fall to the wayside. I think that when your mind gets too overloaded it simply needs to take a moment to do a sort of reboot. Sometimes that moment lasts a loooooong time. In my case its been a year and some change. Heartbreak and life can hit hard. Add to the equation mental illnesses caused by stress and maybe genetic factors and well...I guess I can understand now fully why some folks disappear inside themselves sometimes. Sometimes folks be going through all kinds of shit in their lives and you just never know so like the saying goes...be kind. Sometimes it feels risky being kind though especially when I look around and see whats going on in the world around me. 

Tonight I was asked to work at a different location and I am so glad they called me before I left my place. This place is heavily under construction and when I came in I found myself getting irritated because the construction crew was blasting spanish music. I think they put on music because it was so quiet since I was dealing with getting my work cams to work with a supervisor who was on the phone but man...I have so much appreciation for most music -except maybe opera- but this shit just sounds like carnival music to me and usually it doesn't bother me but I ended up blasting music back to try and drown it out and I can tell at some points we were kinda battling each other for musical dominance. One of the workers from another department told me she was leaving the company soon because of how far she has to travel at night and with no car she is often in potential danger. She gave me a banana and a croissant before she left. I've known her for a few years now and she's really cool. I think she's from Mexico. I feel really bad for her because she was telling me about how some homeless guys took her sneakers one morning as she was heading home. She was forced to go home with only her socks. I think she has been mugged a few times because one of the construction crew guys told me there have been a number of bad incidents which is whats leading to her quitting. The crime is getting insane and there are so many people walking the streets who should be locked up somewhere. Somewhere they can either get treatment or rehab so they can become contributing members of society. I have been watching some crazy videos on Youtube about crazy criminal encounters and although I am somewhat traumatized by a bad police encounter. I have newfound respect for what law enforcement has to deal with. In another life I think perhaps I was a cop...